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For a first time experiencing the full event of the Elimination Chamber, it was beyond a doubt amazing and insane. The Elimination Chamber became the elimination of the referees. Ha! Lesnar took out the official supervising his and Lashley’s match when the only way he could get of the Hurt Lock was by kicking Bobby’s dick resulting in a premature ending. That fight felt underwhelming because of that. But Brock eliminating the ref was hilarious.
Part five or part six of Lesnar and Lashley’s rivalry might spill over to WrestleMania, so they’re not done… for those who thought they would be. Ha!
This happens again during Reigns and Zayn’s match. TWICE. Ha! Ha! Both get their asses knocked out and remained on the floor for what felt like an hour. Sami may not have won, which I wasn’t expecting him to with no disregard to his skills, but Jey Uso showing up attempting to help given how the referees were getting their random beatings was heartwarming.
I believe that Jey would have unloaded on Roman if it weren’t for the accidental spear Sami delivered to the Uso twin. The way Reigns shoved Jey aside was too much for me. I was sooo pissed, and so was Montreal. That’s when I knew Reigns went TOO far.
If I’m being honest, I also didn’t think Owens took out Roman for Sami, but rather because he didn’t want Zayn’s family to further see the carnage raining down on him. Kevin isn’t a sadist… Ha! If Roman getting booed by the entire city of Montreal wasn’t staggering enough, Logan Paul prevented Seth Rollins from winning the US Championship title back by Curve Stomping him during the last stretch of the match. Need I ask why?
Paul is pissy because Rollins was right about his intentions in this industry, and that’s only for views and meaningless appearances for a sport that’s being tainted by someone who doesn’t seem to give a damn. Logan is tiresome. He’s presence is getting more and more bizarre and unnecessary, but I won’t let him soil my mood. Theory won that night regardless, Seth’s shoulders were down.
On the other hand, I did find Liv Morgan’s tendency to allow herself to blackout instead of tapping out to be an ongoing maneuver of hers. She smiled again like she did at Extreme Rules. Cole and Barrett said she had to change tactics, and I suppose acting like a masochist is a vital weapon. I didn’t want her to lose, nevertheless that I said Morgan was going get eliminated second after Nikki Cross, but really girl? Again?
As we go into tonight, Jimmy Uso hasn’t been able to speak to his brother since the Chamber, but the messages he left for Jey told him to meet him in the ring later this evening and whatever he needs to say, he can say it to Jimmy’s face. Jimmy doesn’t look mad, but rather sad if anything. Kind of empty due to Jey’s uncertainties. I’m hoping he’s also questioning the direction The Bloodline is going into. A black hole, to answer my own inquiry.
Ricochet, Madcap Moss & Braun Strowman vs. Imperium – 6-man Tag Team match
Wade Barrett said he was confused by Moss’ presence in this make chief team they’ve built, but I thought it made sense because he suffered at the hands of Gunther and the rest of Imperium as well. Recent time was last week’s lose.
But speaking of slight confusion, what’s going on with Ricochet’s outfit? I don’t hate it, yet the ripped jeans are strangely new. He’s going into Strowman’s closet territory.
As we start this match off with Moss and Vinci, Braun doesn’t leave the mat at first for some reason. I thought he was going to deliver a quick cheap shot to Giovanni before scurrying away. Ha! Alas, we can’t have that.
After Gio quite literally walks all over Madcap’s back like a rug, Moss manages to pick up speed for an impactful shoulder tackle. Moss tags Ricochet in as he descends on Gio off the top rope with a new move we’ve never seen him do for a failed cover.
Ricochet attempts to make a tag to Strowman, wastes time allowing Gio to send him a harsh clothesline. Canceling the tag real quick. Ludwig comes in as he unloads on Rico as well. Imperium was making sure they keep Braun from coming into the fold by breaking Rico down.
Kaiser slaps Braun out of nowhere, and that compels Strowman to storm into the ring, but the official stops him. Nonsense upon nonsense is going on behind them as Imperium plants Rico against the apron twice.
Ricochet’s role as he so fluidly admitted is to slow the momentum of the opposing group, so he could bring Strowman in to do a quick swoop. But that hasn’t been going too well since Rico’s attempts at ploughing down Kaiser has been futile thus far.
What else came as a surprise was Drew McIntyre’s presence. He’s seen looming near the entryway, looking at Gunther. I think he’s scouting. Gunther hasn’t wrestled McIntyre for the Intercontinental Championship yet, so this is a possibility in the future. What do you guys think?
Ricochet takes this slight distraction to deliver a kick to the side of Gunther’s head before landing on his stomach exhausted. That barely shakes the champ because he stomps the high flyer afterwards as if the previous attack didn’t phase him.
I laughed when Gio stomped Rico’s hand like a petulant child would on the playground. So weird.
Anyway, Strowman finally gets tagged in as he ploughs Kaiser and Vinci at the same time. Gunther tries his hand at slowing the big man down, gets thrown away like discarded food, but he manages to send a drop kick to Strowman.
Moss comes in too fast if you ask me since Gunther took advantage of the diversion by Kaiser, so he could put Madcap through a winning Powerbomb for his team.
Now, after the match ended, McIntyre reveals why he’s here. Scouting, as I said. However, Gunther’s smile showed that he saw the Viking Raiders coming from behind to attack McIntyre turning this into a 2-on-1 assault.
Sheamus eventually arrives to help his friend, which Ivar swiftly demolishes. The Raiders thought they had this sneak attack in their favor, that’s until Strowman bulldozes them down along with Ricochet. Sheamus and Drew use this to deliver both a Claymore and a Bro Kick as all four men stand tall inside the ring.
I only have one question, where the hell did Madcap disappear to? Ha!
Winners: Imperium
Backstage, Kayla Braxton welcomes Rey Mysterio. He left RAW to escape his derange, backwards thinking son, Dominik, but hell followed him to SmackDown known as Karrion Kross. Rey vows to defeat Kross later tonight.
Santos Escobar arrives, slightly interrupting the interview, to say he values respect. And he wants to show the audience how much he respects Myterio. I’m not sure in what way Escobar would have demonstrated it, but Dominik has the nerve to be here too. I said when Rey first showed up on SmackDown that Dom was going to follow him there, and low and behold, he did. How predictable.
Santos is more than glad to show Dom respect and have him develop more… I don’t know… humility. Nevertheless, Dom brings up the fact he was prison, and those who didn’t back up what they said got dealt with. He was in jail for an hour! Shut up already! Damn. He hardly got the bad treatment because he didn’t stay in there for too long.
Dom puts up a tough guy front, but when someone approaches him to give him the beating he so rightfully deserves, he whines like a little punk. Retreats into a corner for the reason that he’s the one who doesn’t prove what he says at all. There all lies and terrible angst.
In The Bloodline’s locker room, Jimmy goes back to when everything started crumbling for their faction. He says Montreal, but I think it’s the Rumble. The moment Sami hit Roman with that chair, all hell broke loose. The Bloodline may be slightly broken now; however, this gives them the chance to fix it and make it better. No more I respect you, but you don’t respect me, which gives you the delusional right to mistreat others… Roman.
They can still rectify the wrongs if only they tried. I believe Jimmy and Solo are scared of Reigns a little bit. Heyman instructs Jimmy to deal with Jey “Twin to twin. Uso to Uso.”
Elsewhere, The New Day find it funny that LA Knight wants a WrestleMania moment without realizing what that means. Knight has been on the roster for two, three months or so, so who is he to demand anything?
Xavier Woods notices that Knight loves handouts given the fake leather jacket he’s wearing, unfortunately but also very fortunately, WrestleMania opportunities aren’t handed out for nobody. Kingston fought the hardest and got his Mania moment that became one of the greatest. Knight has too many years to catch up on, and it won’t happen in seconds, my guy.
Kingston doesn’t mind binding his time for opportunities, but he won’t wait for the chance to challenge and beat Knight’s ass.
LA Knight vs. Kofi Kingston
The match was already underway as Kingston slingshots Knight into the ropes followed by kicks to the mid-section. LA Knight attempts to fight his way out of Kofi’s clutches, but he receives a body splash on his back as a result.
Kofi slides under the ropes at the same time grabs onto Knight’s ankle to trip him. Which was a sly move, I’ll give him that.
Knight turns things around with a back elbow to Kofi’s face before following that with a shoulder tackle. He plants Kofi on his back for a failed cover.
Knight was looking for the neck breaker, luckily, Kofi was able to hold onto the ropes, while LA fell on his spine. Knight retaliates by dropping Kingston face first against the top turnbuckles then launching him backwards as well.
Kofi is thrown outside and lands in front of the commentary table. Xavier checks on his teammate, Knight comes in and pushes him. Woods almost hits Knight back, which would result in Kingston’s disqualification, so he restrains himself.
Right in front of Woods, Knight delivers an elbow to Kofi’s chest and shoots his throat against the bottom rope.
Kofi was able to find some time to regroup after delivering a solid knee kick to LA’s face in the center of the ring. Kingston has Knight laid out for a boot drop.
Kingston went for Trouble in Paradise, Knight ducks underneath and plants Kofi instead for a near win.
Surprise, surprise. Knight knocks Woods out because he’s had enough of his trombone playing. Meanwhile, Kofi flies and lands on LA.
They’re back inside the ring as they start running on fumes at this point. Kofi ducks out, Knight is now hovering on the turnbuckles, Xavier blasts his trombone in his face, so Kofi could destabilize him to crack his dick and perform Trouble in Paradise for the victory.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
Five weeks from tomorrow, we’re waiting for WrestleMania. Flair and Ripley are here face-to-face since Rhea loves to run her mouth on RAW. As we wait for Rhea to arrive, she sure takes her time, so Charlotte says “I smell hesitation.” Which had me cackling.
Flair tells Rhea that it’s okay that she’s afraid and regretful in her choice in battling Charlotte for the championship. Unfortunately, it’s not Ripley who comes out calling Flair “Queenie”, no, it’s Goddamn Dominik. I thought he went home by now.
“This is adult time,” said Charlotte “so how about you go and get your Mommy and tell her to come here and face me like a real woman. Instead of hiding behind her boy toy.”
That’s both funny and gross.
Dom thinks Charlotte is jealous, almost bitter that the “Hottest thing in WWE right now is Rhea bloody Ripley” Ha! I know that’s going to become a tagline like Seth Fre*kin’ Rollins.
Dom very nearly talks about what he and Ripley do on their spare time that I almost keeled over asking God for help. It was too much, and I didn’t want to hear where it could have gone knowing there are children in the vicinity.
Dominik likes to think that he and Flair have a lot in common such as being second or third generation superstars, having famous fathers, thriving to surpass them, and possibly living in their shadows. I’m starting think Dom is trying to turn Charlotte against her dad leaving her to be grim and angsty like him. The audience doesn’t want to hear it according to Dom, but that’s not true on my part. It’s the constant whining that’s unbearable to sit through.
He says Rey messed him up. In what way? He says we don’t understand. Explain why don’t you? Maybe if he learned to stop talking like a cryptic, irritating, angsty, self-righteous little punk, the fans might take him seriously.
He goes off saying that when, when being the keyword here, Rhea beats Charlotte, she’ll see that her father was right. She’s not good enough. Unlike Dom, Flair loves her dad regardless and wishes him an early birthday. Charlotte approaches Dom in an attempt to break him, but Rhea finally appears. However, Charlotte is the one standing tall.
Natalya vs. Shayna Baszler
Nattie checked with her medical team if she was cleared for a match tonight, and she is. Baszler takes no breaks in mocking Natalya for getting injured again. Tegan Nox accompanies Nattie to the stage because where Shayna goes, Ronda isn’t too far behind. What I don’t understand is why does Shayna say she isn’t in Rousey’s shadow, and yet as she enters, Ronda’s theme music plays instead of hers?
I smell deceit.
Anyway, the bell rings and we are underway. Nattie bangs a few hits on Shayna’s head almost like Patty-Cake as Baszler retreats momentarily.
Natalya has the upper hand for a bit till Shayna starts playing with her arms. Nattie looks to fight back, but Baszler gives her one hell of a kick to the already damaged arm.
Shayna was looking to break Nattie’s nose again, she ducks out and rolls her up for a failed cover. Nattie gets back on track with a Side Russian leg Sweep to Baszler.
Shayna retreats again after the clothesline, Nattie follows with a baseball slide to the Submission Magician’s neck. All well and good, but Nattie had her eyes off Shayna for a moment and got a knee to the jaw for her troubles. Shayna follows that up with an arm submission as Nattie taps out.
We’re about to have an afterparty. Shayna kicks Tegan off the apron, which leaves Nattie alone. Ronda barks orders to Shayna to get Natalya up, so she could deliver a knee that Tegan quickly prevents from happening.
Ronda hilariously asks who she is. She called Tegan “Skittles” and that she’ll be “Tasting the rainbows, I promise.” Word for words. Ha! Ha! Ha!
Winner: Shayna Baszler
If anyone can play the Joker, it’s definitely Seth Rollins. The makeup was nice, the famous going down the stairs dance was perfect and Becky Lynch’s involvement made it comical. We’re back at The Firefly Funhouse with Bray Wyatt and his zany friends. Yay. At least I thought so…
Bray prepared a game show while wearing an ugly blond wig. He talked about the weather with Rat Bunny. And made fun of Bobby Lashley this past Monday. What’s going on? Indeed that is the question.
Elsewhere, Jimmy is adamant to believe that Jey will be here later tonight, so they can talk. Roman sends Heyman a text message informing Jimmy that if he doesn’t handle Jey, he’ll do it next week. That’s a threat, Jimmy.
Rey Mysterio vs. Karrion Kross
Rey comes out of the gate hot with a 619 to the back of Karrion’s head. Rey goes even further with a suicide dive.
Karrion did gain momentum at some point during the match as he places Rey into a headlock, luckily, Mysterio fights back with a few punches to the mid-section. Kross with an elbow drops Rey just as he was picking up speed.
Mysterio is looking to plant Karrion. Kross uses his opponent’s momentum against him by shoving his whole body outside the ring.
Karrion has Rey on his shoulders as he climbs to the top of the ring, Rey fights back and slingshots Kross across the ring like a ragdoll.
The Luchador had Karrion positioned for the 619, Scarlett was on the ropes as Mysterio bounces off of it resulting in her crashing down on her back. Funny. Rey was still able to go forward with it, almost succeeding until Dominik’s annoying ass stops him by grabbing his legs and swinging him outside of the ring.
Dom taunts Rey to hit him. Why does he want a beating so badly? Does he need his dad to actually do something that most children would desperately try to avoid? I know I did.
Rey decides to ignore him by climbing back into this match and collides with the Krossjacket then begins to fade away.
Dom thinks that Rey needs to be a man by hitting him. Yeah, sure because what it means to be a man is physically harming people. What kind of deranged nonsense is this? I suspect by not hitting him Rey is giving Dom the chance, rather chances, to rectify his wrongs by being straight with his dad.
Rey was tempted to fulfil Dom’s cracked wish as the crowd chants “Do it!” Thankfully, he doesn’t pull the trigger. Being a man doesn’t mean beating your children, or anyone for that matter, senseless.
Winner: Karrion Kross
As brothers, when Jey hurts so does Jimmy. The problems within The Bloodline have been chaotic, regardless of that, Jimmy knows them to be the tightest no matter what. However, Jimmy is brainwashed to believe that Sami and KO are the issue.
When Sami appears to talk to Jimmy, he says that it breaks his heart when he calls Jey his brother because that’s what Zayn thought Jimmy was to him. His dog. “We were dogs!” He said. Ha! That’s an unusual way of putting it. I’m surprised no one laughed.
According to Zayn, there wouldn’t have been an Honorary Uce Sami Zayn if it weren’t for Jimmy’s undying support from day one when Heyman deemed he had no value. Jimmy made this possible. Sami hasn’t forgotten that.
And neither has the crowd as they chant: “Ucey! Ucey! Ucey!”
At the Royal Rumble, Jimmy didn’t think twice about putting Sami down for smacking Roman. On the contrary, Jimmy didn’t think at all. As retaliation, Jimmy says Sami is being selfish for not taking accountability for making the choice he made.
“You stepped on me, and you stepped on Jey!” Family doesn’t betray the other according to Jimmy. But family don’t turn you into a punching bag while manipulating and demonizing you either. Roman did this to the Uso twins not for days, nor weeks, but years.
The more I see this, the more it makes me cry.
Jey Jey shows up in the crowd like he did a few weeks back. Yay. Sami knows that by looking in Jimmy’s eyes, he can see that what he’s saying holds merit. Unfortunately, the more it makes sense, the more it doesn’t. Jimmy decides to cancel Zayn out instead.
For a moment while Sami was on the mat, Jimmy turned to his brother. Egging him to come in, Sami uses that to Helluva Kick Jimmy. A pause sets in then Zayn flees because of Solo Sikoa.
Jey could have leaped in to assist, but he didn’t. There was a shared gaze between Zayn and Jey as he backs into the audience leaving Sikoa and Jimmy looming.
Over the years I wondered if there was ever going to be a dispute between Jey and Jimmy, like they did with Brie and Nikki Bella. Hmm? Now that there’s a possibility, I take it all back. Ha!
TOP PHOTO: Sami Zayn and Jimmy Uso having an intense chat. Courtesy of WWE