Well, this is a new coat of paint. Welcome to Underground, where all the misfits and overrated individuals gather. We’re going to have so much FUN!

I can’t say that I don’t like the new opening, but Fusion’s theme was a banger. No contest.

Anyway, Jacob Fatu won at Battle Riot by eliminating Real1 in order to win a championship opportunity against Hammerstone, so now we welcome him to the stage to address the awaited answer. Fatu really brings the energy better than a lot of the other wrestlers. He’s someone special and Matt Striker notices that.

Fatu wants a fight with Hammerstone in Philly in a Super Fight to win his title back. Things were going smoothly until Real1 graced us with his unwanted presence. I didn’t ask for him to show up… Why, damn it.

So far, Real1 is the most irritating person I’ve met in MLW. Speaking in rhymes isn’t always annoying, but it is when it comes out of his mouth along with his need to prolong certain words when he talks. Like this: “I’m the Certified G, and I need no ID. And eveeeeeeeeerybody knows that.” So antagonizing.

Real1 foolishly believes that he was the winner at Battle Riot; even though, he got shoved off the stage by Fatu for him to claim victory. But delusional people with high opinions of themselves will say anything to make sense of their failures. A smack to the face isn’t enough. He dresses like a collision of bad clothing. Real1 looks awful all the time. I hated him even more when he deliberately chose to call Jacob a “female dog”.

It felt like a stab because in general the b-word is on another level of rude. It’s like a huge and sharp piece of metal is being drilled into your chest. Not to mention the fact that that’s what you call a female dog. Who came up with this word?

Real1 knows how to get a reaction out of people, especially by dissing family members like he did with Fatu’s. I know I’m no wrestler, but the way I would handle this rather than proceed to attack Real1 is by turning the tables. He wants me to get mad, so I change my expression. The comments were indeed insensitive, no doubt about that, yet letting he know he got to you, and you aren’t dealing with it the opposite of brawling, Real1 got want he wanted. That’s worst than actually beating him up. Smart altercations don’t necessarily mean fisticuffs.

As soon as Mance Warner appears, Real1 leaves the ring. Like the all talk but scaredy cat asshole he is. He makes it seem like Warner made a mistake showing up when really he helped diverge attention away from the annoying one. This leads to a fight.

Mance Warner vs. Real1 

I don’t know what the actual hell… but Real1 gets knocked out with one punch by Warner. Saitama from One-Punch Man would be so proud.

All that talk. All that puffing arrogant air. Deflated instantly.

At the beginning of this ten second fight, Real1 kept a firm distance from Mance as they circle around the inner ring as if we’re watching a boxing match. The moment he moves closer to Mance, Real1 gets sucker punched to hell.

All I can say is thank you Warner for shutting this man up for the night. After that, Real1 wreaked small havoc by throwing chairs around. Big brat baby.

Winner: Mance Warner

Alex Kane vs. Jafar – Peach State Prize Fight     

When the Bomaye Fight Club made their entrance, it reminds me of the Conga line dance you see at parties. I’m so confused. Why? Listen, if someone says it’s because their happy, I don’t care. I’m still asking why. That was a random choice.

What also came as a surprise is when a spectator said that Kane sucks, so he marched towards the guy and shoved a Philly cheese steak sandwich in the random’s face, pushing him to the ground. Yikes. Kane even calls the guy a “hoe”. Wow. The sandwich was meant for his Peach Prize victim, instead some guy received it. No remorse.

Kane waited for a worthy challenger to come forward to win double the money he initially planned on awarding. Jafar, a four-year pro, accepts the obstacle.

Jafar isn’t in the ring for too long as he gets jumped by Kane before the ringing of the bell with a body slam in the corner followed by suplexes.

We’re up to four suplexes done by Kane on Jafar. Ha! That number hits closely to Jafar’s yearly professional status. His nose started bleeding too. My God.

Jafar was beyond destroyed after the fifth one, and the referee physically got in-between Kane’s attempts at inflicting further pain, which he does. It brings the count to seven suplexes before kicking Jafar out.

Kane said he was just warming up. Someone else steps up to the plate, and it’s none other than Davey Boy Smith Jr. As he makes his way to the ring, Kane’s lackeys attack him, but Smith Jr. successful fends them off until Kane, Myron Reed and Mr. Thomas get involved.

Smith Jr. became the center of a 3-on-1 assault… Luckily, the Billington boys arrived to even the score.

Winner: Alex Kane

EJ Nduka isn’t pleased by Fatu’s future plans on getting the title back from Hammerstone. Nduka promises to break Alex and win the belt. The possibility of the Heavyweight Championship landing in Fatu’s hands is nonnegotiable.

Craziness is still ongoing. The mysterious calling card has been found on Mads Krugger’s knocked out body.

Alex Hammerstone (c) vs. EJ Nduka – Last Man Standing Match for World Heavyweight Championship

EJ Nduka talks a lot, but he is as advertised unlike Real1. He’s a big fatty fat joke.

Well, there you have it friends. We finally get to see the highly anticipated match in MLW. Yay!! I’ve been waiting patiently. Unlike some people… cough cough, Nduka.

Oh, by the way,  the announcer inside the ring didn’t pronounce EJ’s last name properly. It was a mess. EJ was like “I know this man didn’t say my name right. Rude. But I can’t be focusing on that now. I’ll get the fool later.”

The minute the bell rings, EJ charges at Hammerstone and smacks him in the face with his Tag Team belt. Hammerstone manages to get back on his feet then ploughs through at EJ by planting him against the turnbuckles along with a Dynamite elbow to the jaw.

During the break, Nduka was able to gain back control of the match with a kendo stick to the back of the champ on the main floor. He even drives a chair against Alex’s ribcage and spine for good measure.

All I paid attention to was after EJ slammed Alex’s back against the post. Hammerstone’s mouth was in the shape of an “O” when he collapsed in front of the camera. You can see the interior of his mouth. Oof. Ha!

Once Hammerstone got a bit of strength back, he drop kicks EJ from up high then uses the kendo stick to inflict further damage.

Nduka sees where he is then overwhelms Hammerstone with a body slam on the ramp. He sets two chairs inside the ring, so he could place a table between them. Alex gets back on his feet to intercept… that quickly fails. Nduka annihilates Hammerstone over the wooden table.

Hammerstone beats the ten count. Amazing. This pisses Nduka off. He ventures under the ring and grabs chains, so he could latch Alex down.

Hammerstone staggeringly escapes from the chains and begins to unload on Nduka. An explosion with a clothesline to EJ followed by a spear in the second previously set up table.

The champ ends this match with a Midnight Pendulum then stacks the wreckage on top of EJ’s unconscious body as we reach the count of ten for a retaining win.

Nduka did arrive knowing this was going to be a harsh battle, but he lost. Now Fatu will get the fight he wanted versus Hammerstone.

Winner: Alex Hammerstone

 

TOP PHOTO: Fatu standing at the ramp’s entrance watching Hammerstone. Courtesy of MLW