Raw report: Both Cody Rhodes and Edge trust the wrong people

The final word from Hell in a Cell is the first word on tonight’s Monday Night Raw: the injury to Cody Rhodes. Thanking the fans right back as they chant “thank you” for the performance he put on at last night’s event in spite of an injury that separated his pectoral muscle from the bone, Rhodes surprisingly starts cutting a promo about the upcoming Money in the Bank show. He isn’t still expecting to be a part of that match, is he?

We don’t quite get to find out yet because Seth Rollins interrupts Rhodes, as he likes to do, to show his respect and offer Rhodes a left-handed handshake and to tell him he respects him and that Dusty would be very proud. And then — that’s it! Rollins leaves Rhodes alone in the ring to receive the adulation of the fans all the way back up the ramp.

Nah, that’s not it. Rollins re-appears and attacks Rhodes with a sledgehammer, beating him to the ground and undoing all of the goodwill he had just created for himself.

This should be enough to grant Rhodes some recuperation time away from TV. Photo: WWE

Dana Brooke VS. Becky Lynch

The match barely gets going before the usual cavalcade of jabronis run down the ramp in pursuit of 24/7 Champion Akira Tozawa. He scampers into the ring and is rolled up by Dana Brooke as she regains her championship.

Lynch grabs a mic and quite rightly asks what’s going on here, and then does the heretofore unthinkable: she challenges Brooke for the 24/7 Title, with Byron Saxton suggesting that winning would represent a bounce-back for Lynch after failing to re-capture the Raw Women’s Championship last night. That’s a stretch.

After a couple of Becksploders, out comes Asuka to distract Lynch and allow Brooke to gain control of the match-up, getting a two-count after a bulldog. Brooke misses a top-rope senton soon afterwards and Lynch sets up for a Manhandle Slam, but Brooke slips into a pinning hold and Asuka holds down Becky’s leg to help secure the three-count.

Winner via pinfall and STILL 24/7 Champion: Dana Brooke

After a John Cena compilation that promotes the upcoming 20 years of Cena celebration on the June 27th episode of Raw, it’s time for Miz TV and the host, along with Maryse, are celebrating the premiere of Miz & Mrs. going into its third season immediately after Raw. Third season! Son of Zorn couldn’t even make it to season two!

Matt Riddle interrupts the proceedings, and the three of them engage in some real inane banter that ends up being about the size of Miz’s balls before Riddle kind of, sort of challenges Miz to a match. Miz is about to leave when Tommaso Ciampa attacks Riddle from behind, which convinces Miz to take a shot.

The Miz (w/ Maryse) VS. Matt Riddle

The Miz is wrestling in most of his tuxedo, and maybe that’s hampering him because he barely gets any offence in during this match. Riddle continues to roll out Randy Orton’s greatest hits, including a hangman’s DDT followed by a near-RKO, which Miz escapes by going to the floor. If Orton comes back and turns on Riddle for stealing his moveset and leeching off his legacy, it would be the most interesting thing for Orton in years.

Riddle chases Miz around the outside of the ring and rips off his tuxedo pants to inspire a “tiny balls” chant from the crowd. This doesn’t bother Miz as much as failing to connect with Maryse’s loaded purse and falling prey to an RKO to close out the match.

Winner via pinfall: Matt Riddle

I’m getting some serious Coppertone ad vibes from this shot. Photo: WWE

The Street Profits (Angelo Dawkins & Montez Ford) VS. The Usos (Jimmy & Jey)

The announce team isn’t quite sure if this is a Non-Title Match, a Championship Contender’s Match, or just a match. I suppose they all amount to about the same thing.

The Profits use plenty of double-teaming on both Jimmy & Jey to open and get some near-falls, and Ford hits a funny-looking forward-flip onto Jey from the third step of the the ring stairs — not even the top step — going into commercials.

Back from commercials, it has become official: this is a Championship Contender’s Match, which means it’s time to remind everyone how dumb that concept is. Imagine if you had to earn an A in school to be granted the opportunity to earn an A. The Usos are in control now, double-teaming and cheap-shotting, as Jey lands a strong uppercut on Dawkins, dropping him to the mat with jelly legs.

Jimmy runs into Dawkins in the corner and mockingly encourages him to tag Ford, but soon afterwards he and Jey run Dawkins into the stairs before another break. Upon our return, Ford is now in the match but is simply getting beat down as Ford was. Now Dawkins is somehow the saviour as Ford hot tags him in, with the sturdy Street Profit diving over the top rope onto the champion brothers.

Ford tags in again and hits his top-rope splash on Jey, but Jimmy breaks up the ensuing pin and the fight goes the outside. As Jey misses an attack and flips over the barricade, Ford sneaks back in the ring as the ref reaches ten.

Winners via count-out: The Street Profits

Bobby Lashley gets some mic time and reflects on his victory at Hell in a Cell over Omos and MVP, wondering who’s next. Austin Theory interrupts and says this is his time, not Lashley’s. Bobby looks bewildered by the interruption, but challenges the champ to a match for Theory’s United States title. Theory, naturally, refuses him.

Lashley kicks him out of the ring and tells him to beat it, and the odd segment is over without anything seeming to come of it.

Dominik Mysterio (w/ Rey) VS. Veer Mahaan

Dominik hits and moves, throwing in a little mockery of Mahaan’s mannerisms. Eventually, Mahaan gets his mitts on Dominik, flattening him with his leaping press and slamming Dominik’s head off the apron before throwing him into Rey and kicking the senior Mysterio in the head before a break.

Returning from ads, Mahaan runs into the ringpost as Dominik dodges a running attack, hitting a 619 in the corner and hitting Mahaan’s head to the post again. A frog splash nets Mysterio a two-count, but a Million Dollar Arm clothesline sets up a cervical clutch, although Rey attacks Mahaan to finish up the match before it can be applied.

Winner via disqualification: Veer Mahan

The Judgment Day is in the ring, congratulating themselves on their victory last night and ready to reveal their newest member. It is, it turns out, one of the many, many names that Edge has been tweeting out there: Finn Balor. Edge entreats Balor to explain why he reached out to Ripley and Priest. Balor explains that he’s tired of pretending to be someone he’s not.

He’s also tired of being told what to do, so he’s joined The Judgment Day so that Edge can, well, tell him what to do I guess.

Oh, wait … Priest says that he, Ripley, and Balor are ready to shed themselves of everything holding them back — including Edge as they quickly beat him down. Ripley, I suppose is not allowed to put her hands on Edge, so Balor and Priest slam him into the announcer’s table.

That’s not quite enough, though, as they get Edge back in the ring and perform a Con-Chair-To, officially exorcising Edge from the stable.

Omos VS. Cedric Alexander

Omos picks Alexander up and slams him down for the win. That’s it.

Winner via pinfall: Omos

Kevin Patrick welcomes The Dirty Dawgs to a side stage, but they barely explain what’s on their minds before MVP chastises them for interrupting Omos’ celebration. Ziggler superkicks MVP into Omos’ arms, and the Dawgs run from the pursuing giant and manager.

Otis (w/ Chad Gable) VS. Ezekiel

Ezekiel lands a chop, but it doesn’t faze Otis as he powers Zeke into the corner, driving his shoulder into him, then throwing him over top of his head. Ezekiel fights back with a lifting knee and a crucifix pin for the win.

Winner via pinfall: Ezekiel

Ezekiel gets on the mic and calls out Kevin Owens, demanding a rematch next week. Owens comes out and accepts, but only on the condition that Ezekiel admits he is Elias. Ezekiel does so and gets his rematch, but then says he lied. That was the first Ezekiel/Owens segment that has fallen flat for me.

Alexa Bliss VS. Liv Morgan VS. Rhea Ripley VS. Doudrop (w/ Nikki A.S.H.) – Fatal 4-Way to determine Number-One Contender to Bianca Belair

Belair is watching from beside the commentators’ table for this one. Morgan and Bliss are sent outside early, leaving Doudrop and Ripley to trade blows before they temporarily team up against Doudrop and then Ripley. While Doudrop ends up on the foor, Ripley holds her own until a combo dropkick/DDT knocks Ripley out of the ring and the partnership then falls apart going into a break.

Coming back, Doudrop is in control until Morgan hits a Jersey Codebreaker on her, then breaks up a pinfall after Doudrop hits a splash on Bliss. Alexa returns the favour after Doudrop attempts a pin on Morgan following a sit-out powerslam. Morgan blocks Twisted Bliss with her knees and a brawl breaks out, finishing with Ripley hitting a modified Riptide on Doudrop for the victory.