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RAW: The Hurt Business downsizes; outsources help from Smackdown

WrestleMania is less than two weeks away and Monday Night RAW is starting to pull the card together. Even if it does seem that most of these matches were put together at the last minute. Speaking of last minute, does Sheamus have a Mania match yet? The man was prominently featured in the main event over the last few weeks? It’s time to enter the ThunderDome to get our answers.

Earlier in the day, Drew McIntyre discussed the bounty put on his head by Bobby Lashley. He dares anyone to jump him.

There’s a theory floating around that the Hurt Business will be breaking up sooner than later, but they kick of RAW with a united front. All four men enter the ring. MVP officially announces that Lashley will walk out the champion at WrestleMania. He does have a business proposition; anyone that takes out Drew McIntyre before WrestleMania will get a title match at ‘Mania. They want to give someone else a chance to step up and be a star.

MVP turns his attention to Cedric Alexander and Shelton Benjamin, who will not be at ringside for the WWE Title match. Lashley admonishes the two for not getting the jump done. He blames them for having to step outside of the business to get things done. MVP agrees with him, calling Cedric and Shelton failures. Alexander isn’t pleased this is being done out in public. Benjamin gets in MVP’s face. Lashley decks Alexander. Shelton suplexes Lashley, but the champ hits him with a flatliner. Lashley kicks Shelton out of the ring. Lashley declares the Hurt Business is over for Shelton and Cedric. Looks like the break up was much sooner.

Riddle tells Sarah Schreiber that he doesn’t know why Sheamus attacked him last week, but now he is angry. First though, he wants to ask Titus some questions. Titus has to explain to Riddle that he is the co-host of WrestleMania; it’s definitely not a roast. Sheamus blindsides Riddle from out of nowhere.

Backstage, Cedric and Shelton approach Adam Pearce about Shelton getting a match tonight with Lashley. Cedric demands he make the match.

Samoa Joe is unavailable tonight, so MVP is taking his place on commentary.


Sheamus vs. Riddle – Non-Title Match


MVP calls Riddle a disgrace to the United States title. Riddle is able to lock in a sleeper and take Sheamus to the mat. The Celtic Warrior powers out, elbowing Riddle in the corner. Riddle answers with a knee strike, sending Sheamus into the ropes. He drop kicks him out of the ring. Riddle hits a floating Bro as we go to commercial.

After the break, Sheamus hits a tilt-a-whirl back breaker, nearly getting the pin. Sheamus takes Riddle up top, but the US champ slips down, turning the tables  Sheamus. He hits a superplex and both men are down. Riddle with an overhead suplex and follows with a flurry of kicks. Sheamus blocks a kick, but Riddle drops out of the Alabama slam. Riddle with the floating Bro and locks in a triangle. Sheamus gets to the ropes to break the hold. Sheamus hits White Noise on the apron. Riddle kicks out at two. Sheamus hits the Alabama Slam, but Riddle kicks out again.

Sheamus fires himself up, only to catch a knee strike. Riddle with a roll up, but Sheamus kicks out. Sheamus connects with a knee strike. He covers and gets the pin.

Winner via pinfall: Sheamus


After the match, Riddle knocks a celebrating Sheamus off the turnbuckle to the floor.

Shane McMahon doesn’t want to reveal what information he has on Braun Strowman. He does call it enlightening.

After the break, Shane is in the ring with Elias and Jaxson Ryker. He wants to address the allegations that his knee injury was faked. Shane thanks science for giving him the ability to get out of Braun’s way last week. Shane produces a report card for Braun Strowman from the fifth grade. Braun received straight D’s and some very harsh comments from his teachers. Shane calls him intellectually challenged. They think Braun just needs a big hug.

Strowman marches to the ring. Shane dances in the ring, only to duck out.


Braun Strowman vs. Jaxson Ryker w/Elias and Shane McMahon


Strowman tosses Ryker around the ring. Strowman chases Shane around the ring, before turning his attention back to Ryker. Strowman tried to take  swipe at Shane, allowing Ryker to attack from behind. A drop kick to the knee drops the big man. Ryker tries to come off the middle turnbuckle and Braun hits a big boot. The Strowman Express in on the tracks and he wipes out Ryker. And yes, there were sound effects again. Strowman powerslams Ryker in the middle of the ring while staring down Shane. He covers to gets the win.

Winner via pinfall: Braun Strowman


Strowman goes after Shane, but Elias blindsides him. The two beat on Strowman, until he gets to his feet and they clear the ring. Strowman didn’t forget that Shane accepted his challenge and he could pick any match that he wanted. Strowman has decided on a steel cage match.


The Dirt Sheet


Miz calls this the most anticipated Dirt Sheet every, because they are dropping their newest video. They point out that Bad Bunny was nominated but did not win a Video Music Award. Miz was trying to teach Bad Bunny a lesson when he hit him with a guitar. Miz promises to payback Bunny at WrestleMania for all the humiliation. They debut their video, “Hey Hey, Hop Hop!” This thing is going on way too long. It’s three and half minutes, but feels so much longer.

After the video ends, Bad Bunny and Damien Priest finally walk out. They actually enjoyed the video. Miz won’t be laughing when Bunny handles him at WrestleMania. Priest doesn’t stop Miz from going after Bunny, who lays Miz out with one punch.

Randy Orton talks about how the legends he has faced over his career do not compare to the Fiend. Orton decided to burn the Fiend to get him out of his life. Orton now knows that the Fiend is more than a man; he is an abomination. Orton never believed that the Fiend would return. He walked right into a trap. Now he knows what he is dealing with. At WrestleMania he will stand across the ring from the Fiend for the final time. Orton will do what he needs to do to make sure the Fiend is out of his life once and for all.


Bobby Lashley w/MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin w/Cedric Alexander


Shelton attacks at the bell, getting the upper hand, taking down the champ with a waist lock. Lashley hits a flatliner and tosses Shelton out of the ring. Lashley slams him into the ring post. He drills Benjamin in the corner and then goes after Cedric at ringside. Alexander retreats all the way to the stage. Benjamin hits Pay Dirt as Lashley enters the ring and gets a near fall.

Benjamin hits a running knee in the corner, but then walks into a spine buster. Lashley with a chokeslam and locks in the Hurt Lock. Benjamin passes out; the ref calls for the bell.

Winner via submission: Bobby Lashley


The New Day wants to have a game night with AJ Styles and Omos. Styles doesn’t want to play, but then decides they will play and win. Just like how he will win tonight and then win at WrestleMania.

Sheamus has a WrestleMania match now. He will face Riddle for the United States title.

The New Day are in the ring for game night. They have Styles and Omos come to the ring. AJ and Omos get sick of these silly games. AJ vows to show Xavier what they are about when he beats him tonight.


Xavier Woods w/Kofi Kingston vs. AJ Styles w/Omos


Woods with a tornado DDT, almost getting the pin. Xavier goes up top, only to have Omos pulls AJ out of the ring. He then decks Woods. The ref calls for the bell.

Winner via disqualification: Xavier Woods


Omos then picks up Kofi and tosses him into the virtual crowd. He and AJ then beat down Woods in the ring. Omos delivers a two handed choke slam.


Alexa’s Playground


Alexa has her Jack in the box, but they used to be called a Devil in the box. They had spells written on them and contained a demonic presence. That’s what happened at TLC. The Fiend is weakened and trapped. A Fiend in the box, if you will. He is ready to face Randy Orton at WrestleMania. Orton’s biggest mistake is thinking he understands what’s next. Here’s a hint — at WrestleMania the Legend Killer dies. The camera pulls back and the Fiend has joined her on the swings.

Drew McIntyre is mad. He storms into the locker room, demanding to know who is going to step up. No one is taking the opportunity.  Drew dresses down the locker room. He calls out Braun. Strowman says he will be the first in line after he takes care of Shane. He tosses Drew Gulak aside. Humberto Carrillo hits him, so Drew takes him out. He tells Ricochet to step up. Ricochet doesn’t care about Lashley, but if he wants a fight he will be there. McIntyre respects that.


Shayna Baszler w/Nia Jax and Reginald vs. Naomi w/Lana


Mandy Rose and Dana Brooke join commentary to watch the match. Rose says she is here for Naomi. Baszler stomps on Naomi’s elbow and then applies a double wrist lock. Naomi with a pin, but Shayna counters with the Kirifuda Clutch. Naomi fights out and hits the split leg drop. Reginald leaps to the apron. Lana goes after Reginald, but get caught by Jax. Lana sends Nia into Mandy Rose as Brooke goes after Lana. Amidst the confusion, Naomi rolls up Baszler and gets the pin.

Winner via pinfall: Naomi


Riddle comes across Asuka in the back with his repaired scooter.  That’s it.

Adam Pearce introduced Rhea Ripley and Asuka to the ring for their contract signing. Asuka calls Rhea over confident. She agrees; on her first night on RAW she challenged Asuka and now she is confident enough to say that she will take the RAW Women’s title. They both sign. Asuka starts to monologue, so Rhea shuts her up by slamming the table in her face.

Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler walk out and this better not lead to “WrestleMania opponents face the tag champs” match. We literally just did this on Smackdown. Jax calls out the audacity of Rhea issuing the challenge and for Asuka accepting it. The Women’s Tag Team champs want to know where their WrestleMania match is. And there it is. Jax issues a tag team challenge to them. Rhea accepts for the both of them.

MVP is glad to see Ricochet acting like a businessman. Ricochet says this isn’t about Lashley; it’s all about him. He doesn’t know if he will ever get a shot like this again.

RVD is the newest WWE Hall of Fame inductee.


Drew McIntyre vs. Ricochet


Ricochet comes out firing, but McIntyre just tosses him across the ring. A head scissors sends Drew into the turnbuckle and Ricochet connects with a knee strike. A step up enziguri from the corner takes down McIntyre, but Ricochet can’t get the pin. McIntrye and Ricochet go to the floor. Ricochet is whipped into the barrier, but he leaps and lands on the top. He counter with a drop kick. Back in the ring, Ricochet goes up top and looks for the 630 splash. McIntyre moves, but Ricochet rolls through. McIntyre connects with the Claymore kick and gets the pin.

Winner via pinfall: Drew McIntyre


Mustafa Ali jumps McIntyre in the ring, taking him down with a chop block. McIntyre tosses him from the ring and challenges Ali.


Drew McIntyre vs. Mustafa Ali


We join the match in progress, as Ali has Drew wrapped around the ring post. He follows with a chop block, focusing on the knee. McIntyre chops his way out of the corner, only to have Ali drop kick him. Ali hits a frog splash on the knee, but still can’t get the pin. McIntyre hits a power slam and then an overhead belly to belly. He beats on Ali in the corner before tossing him across the ring. Ali kicks the knee and goes up top. McIntyre head butts Ali out of mid-air. Drew calls for the Claymore and connects. He coves and gets the pin.

Winner via pinfall: Drew McIntyre


Drew wants Lashley to come to the ring to finish him. The All Mighty joins Drew in the ring. McIntyre tells him that no matter what he does he can’t prevent the match at WrestleMania. Lashley says he doesn’t need help, pointing out the mauling he dished out at Elimination Chamber. He declares this the All Mighty Era. McIntyre understands that Lashley is afraid of him. The two trade blows. McIntyre with a head butt that sends Lashley to the floor. Out of nowhere, Baron Corbin blindsides McIntyre. Drew fights back, throwing Corbin across the ring. Corbin hits the Deep 6. Lashley runs in to apply the Hurt Lock. McIntyre passes out. Lashley shoves the title in his face.

See you next week in the ThunderDome!

 

Monday Night RAW 3/29/2021
1.5

The ThunderDome at Tropicana Field, St. Petersburg, Florida

Well that was awful. RAW had a streak of good shows just crashed at burned. First, the Hurt Business, one of the best factions in some time broke up. And then they brought in Baron Corbin to fill the void. Baron Corbin has never made anything better. Rhea and Asuka had a contract signing which lead to a tag team match versus Nia Jax and Shayna Baszler next week. It’s not like we just didn’t see the WrestleMania opponents team up to take on the tag champs on Smackdown. The Shane McMahon, Braun Strowman story is just plain stupid. Miz and Bad Bunny was interesting, but the debut of “Hey Hey, Hop Hop” went on way to long. Miz and Morrison need to invest in a video editor. The New Day versus AJ Styles and Omos looks good by comparison, even if they were having a “Game night” in the ring. The only positive thing on RAW is Randy Orton, Alexa Bliss and the Fiend. Unfortunately, that story and feud isn’t for everyone.

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