So much action to cover when it’s Primetime Live on the United Wrestling Network, and so little time to talk. Thankfully it’s time for promos with the “Prime Time Player” Fred Rosser who’s taking No Days Off. “BHK” Kevin Martenson is going to show Dan Joseph a thing or two, but Joseph is undefeated on the pay per view. “Showtime” Jordan Cruz is ready for his Hollywood Heritage match, but the “Golden Boy” Jordan Clearwater welcomes us to the Golden Era (natch). Anthony Idol ready to take the United Television Title no less, and Howdy Price says Levi Shapiro is truly timeless. Slice Boogie rules the Concrete Jungle, and Davey Boy Smith Jr. is going to give Slice a rumble. Finally Richie Slade and Flex Scallion are festive and lets us know we made the Naughty list, yet Beef Candy is so Nice and sweet (but let’s face it, their brand of sugar isn’t always so delish). Now that we’re done with this rhyme, let’s now go live with PrimeTime.
(Apologies to “Bloodthirsty” Bob Kapur. The Total Bellas headlines he does just inspired me)
Live from Thunder Studios in Long Beach, CA.
Todd Keneley, James Kincaid, and Blake “Bulletproof” Troop have the call.
First Match: Richie Slade (w/ Flex Scallion) vs. “Mr. No Days Off” Fred Rosser
Flex does the intros for Slade, with the best line being that he hails from CandyLand (and suddenly I feel like going into insulin shock. Thank the gods I have an epi-pen). Match is all about the psychological warfare by Slade and Flex as they try to get into Rosser’s head (which is underneath that luscious Afro) but “Mr. No Days Off” is having none of that candy corn, and goes out of the ring to address his displeasure, starting with Flex. Slade tries to take advantage of the distraction, but Rosser flips Slade back in the ring. Rosser gets ready to take control, but Slade gets a standing Stagedive on Rosser that only garners a two count. Now with Slade in control he delivers a knee drop sending Rosser to the bottom rope, where Flex on the outside makes Rosser eat that candy cane he’s holding (and I now realize the innuendo this sends to people not seeing the action, but just play along, OK?) Rosser tries to get back in, but it’s a numbers game with Beef Candy, and they use it to their advantage by disabling Rosser’s leg on outside using the ring post. Back in the ring, Slade gets Rosser in a side Figure Four, but Rosser manages to chop his way out and reverses Slade’s offense with a seated splash, but Rosser pulls up due to damage done to his leg. But Rosser fights through the pain, and gets Slade into an overhead suplex, and Rosser back in the saddle with a quick power slam that just gets a two count. He then pulls Slade outside for the patented back drop on the ring apron edge. Flex, feeling that things aren’t so sweet, goes to the commentator’s booth and splashes hot coffee on Rosser’s back and the ref calls for the bell.
Your Winner via Disqualification: “Mr. No Days Off” Fred Rosser
Beef Candy keep up the beat down after the bell, but Rosser powers through and hits the gut Check on both of Beef Candy for the moral victory at least. But, man, that coffee must still sting.
Back to the booth, where Todd Keneley states tonight women’s match will not go on as scheduled, due to the fact they were exposed to COVID and were asked to quarantine. If this year has proven nothing, it’s that the phrase “This card is subject to change” is more than mere hyperbole, folks.
We now go backstage with Jack Farmer who’s standing by with Levi Shapiro & Howdy Price. Why is Howdy standing on a box? The world may never know, but his posture is not in question, but what we will get tonight is premium service once Shapiro finishes off Anthony Idol. But let’s get to our next match.
Slice Boogie vs. Davey Boy Smith, Jr.
It always amazes me how much Davey Boy looks like his dad. It’s just so uncanny to me, but Slice doesn’t seem to give a toss about this. Start of the match is just a power display with The Bulldog showing the clear advantage, with emphasis on his catch wrestling skills. Hammerlock slam by Smith on Slice Boogie, but Boogie counters with a super kick. He then tries to suplex Davey Boy on the hard ramp, but Smith reverses, throws back Boogie into the ring. Smith climbs through the ropes, but Boogie cuts him off by attacking his leg then follows up with a DDT, but his efforts only amount for a two count. Form this point, it’s all about the King of the Concrete Jungle grinding down the Bulldog, and Boogie targets the knee, throws Smith to the corner followed by chop block into an rope assisted elbow drop, but still just a two count. Boogie keeps working the leg but he can’t put down the Bulldog. Boogie channels his inner Eddie Kingston and talks trash at Davey Boy. Boogie uses the ropes and tries a roll up but just gets the two count. Davey boy begins to Hulk up (errr…Bulldog up? Can I get a ruling? No? Okay then.), and clothesline Slice Boogie, turning him head over heels in the process. With the Bulldog back in control of the match, he proceeds to deliver a back body drop on Slice, then a Saito suplex, but only gets a two count. Boogie hits a jawbreaker to disorient Smith, and as Boogie hits the ropes gets caught in a snap powerslam for a two count. Boogie manages to get Smith into an avalanche reverse DDT, but still gets a two count, and Boogie is getting frustrated by this. He goes back to the well, but Davey Boy catches Boogie in the Running Powerslam made famous by the original British Bulldog that secures the three count.
Your Winner via Pinfall: Davey Boy Smith, Jr.
Jonny Loquasto is with David Marquez on a state of the union on UWN. With the pandemic, holidays, and everything else in between, even he doesn’t know where things are going. For now, this will be the last broadcast of 2020, and they will crown a new UWN World Champ in 2021 between Mike Bennett and Chris Dickinson. Marquez admits this is unusual talking about real life stuff, but these are unusual times in the days ahead, so for now this will just be a time to rest and reflect during the holidays. As for me, all I can say is that if you know you’re not going to be working for a while, at least Marquez didn’t do it in a Zoom meeting. Nobody likes getting Zumped (Zoom + dumped).
Next up are the ads, so…yeah.
“BHK” Kevin Martenson vs. Dan Joseph
Introductions show Martenson walking away from the hard ramp, since he just has no luck with it on the last PrimeTime episodes. As he takes off his ring jacket you see him wearing an “I Hate Ramp” shirt. Meanwhile, my inner Ron Burgundy has to ask Kevin Martenson, “Do you really hate the ramp, or did look at the lamp and say you hated it?”
In any case, match starts with a feel out and some fantastic chain wrestling by both men, with neither giving an inch. Martenson with the standing drop kick and a backbreaker variation, followed by a release German suplex but just can’t put down Joseph. Joseph goes to his own back breaker variation, and then tries to suplex Martenson to hard ramp, but Martenson quickly (very quickly) reverses the move, and uses the ropes to cut Joseph in half, but can’t put Joseph away. Joseph does a belly to belly (uranage) suplex that gets only a two count by the ref. Up top Martenson chops away thunderously, but Joseph pushes off and hits a clothesline. Martenson is still in the fight and sends Joseph outside the ring and drop kicks him to the hard ramp. He then goes up top for a high risk maneuver but “BHK” wisely backs off and sends Joseph back in. But joseph still has some gas left in the tank and goes for a full offensive in the form of a side spinebuster, followed by a Tiger bomb but it just gets the two count. End saw both men putting each other into a series a roll ups, but the positioning of the ref saw Joseph’s shoulders pinned down for the one, two three.
Your Winner via Pinfall: “BHK” Kevin Martenson
End of the match has Joseph still incredulous about how it ended, but he goes over and offers his hand in a show of respect to Martenson. As Martenson heads back, he does his best and still avoids the ramp. Boy, he’s really doesn’t like the hard ramp at all. But now let’s get to our first of two title matches, starting with the…
Hollywood Heritage Title Match: “Golden Boy” Jordan Clearwater (c) vs. “Showtime” Jordan Cruz
During the introduction, they show via split screen how Clearwater won the belt over Ray Rosas this weekend on Chapionship Wrestling Form Hollywood, which you can see here. Also, this is Cruz’s first time back since being manhandled by the “Dirty Daddy” on the first episode of PrimeTime Live, so here’s hoping for the best for “Showtime.” Start has both competitors doing some chain wrestling, and Clearwater takes the early advantage, but Cruz is no slouch and showing more fight this go around, with his focus on taking away Clearwater’s Midas Touch finisher by working over the right leg of Jordan. Cruz sent Clearwater to the ring corner, and as he went to put more damage he gets sent outside by the “Golden Boy” in a nasty fall to the floor that looked pretty serious for a minute. Cruz gets back in where Clearwater tries to hit the Midas Touch boot, Cruz hits the ropes, and both get a double clothesline. Ref starts to count out both men, but they get back up at eight. It’s now a standing affair, with Clearwater goes for a knee, but Cruz answers with a standing drop kick. Cruz then shows more of his offensive acumen with a shoulderbreaker, but gets a two count. He then gets Clearwater in a STF submission, then transitions nicely into the Rings of Saturn, but Clearwater reversed it and gets a two count that forces Cruz to release the hold. A flying neckbreaker by Clearwater then a spinebuster almost puts away Cruz, but no chance. Cruz goes up top for a hammer, but a Midas Touch by Clearwater, followed quickly by another manage to ensure the “Golden Era” lives on.
Your Winner, and still Hollywood Heritage Champion: “Golden Boy” Jordan Clearwater
No time to take a breath, folks, because your next match is…
Your Main event for the United Television Championship: “Timeless” Levi Shapiro (c) with Howdy Price) vs. The Neon Phenomenon” Anthony Idol
Of course, we get boxing style intros by Adnan Kureishy to an empty studio, but since this is the last show for 2020, I’ll just let it slide. As Idol gets ready, Shapiro goes for a sneak attack that sends Idol outside, and thrown into the steel steps. With Idol knocked down, and Shapiro firmly in the driver’s seat proceeding to beat down the Neon Phenomenon, and Price helping from the outside raking his eyes. But there’s still more fight left in Idol, as he manages to get to the corner and trap him in the Tree of Woe. He then hits a flying shoulder tackle onto the prone Shapiro, with a nice Vader bomb follow up, but Shapiro gets foot on the rope to break the pin count. Idol grabs Shapiro and gets ready to throw a German suplex, but Shapiro grabs the ref to distract him as Shapiro gets a nice Flair-style mule kick Idol’s mini Neon Lights to double him over. Shapiro goes for a bulldog but only gets a two count for his trouble. Idol then goes into overdrive and hits his Idol Overdrive (Falcón Arrow) finisher, but Price sensing the danger jumps in, and ref has no choice but to call a disqualification.
Your Winner via Disqualification: “The Neon Phenomenon” Anthony Idol
But Still your United Television Champion: “Timeless” Levi Shapiro
Shapiro and Price try to beat feet to the back, but Clearwater, Cruz and Joseph come out and surround Shapiro and Price, sending them back to the ring where Idol is still nonplussed about the referee decision. Shapiro then gets the living tar beaten out of him by the four men in the ring, while Price weasels his way out and tries to secure the help of “Bulletproof” Troop to take care of situation. Blake ain’t having none of that, and that’s when Price decides it’s a smart idea to call Blake a gray gorilla. Obviously that goes over like a lead balloon and Troop puts down the headset and stalk Price all the way back to the ring, but the four men are still there, and Price is the proverbial piggy in the butcher shop. Blake gets in, ready to uncork a hand grenade fist, but Price shrieks and faints dead away, while the five men in the ring stand tall. Not a bad way to end a show, and to end this run of the UWN PrimeTime Live.
Final Thoughts on the Final PrimeTime Show of 2020:
I’m not going to lie. This is a bittersweet moment for me, and very reminiscent of how I felt when NWA POWERRR suspended things just as they were getting some forward momentum only to have it taken away due to the pandemic, just like what I and most of the world was (and still are) going through. However, I do not blame Marquez for making the tough call, and I do hope the talent and the crew that put together the PrimeTime Live shows are healthier and happier come the New Year, whenever that happens to be.
As for the final show itself, it was just top-to-bottom solid matches, and the Main Event, as always, is the secret sauce. As always, folks, do yourselves a favor and go to Fite.tv, and spend the $7.99 for the show or get the bundle package for $24.99. Heck, gift it to someone for the holidays so they know what real wrestling is all about.
Until then, hope to recap for the United Wrestling Network again when it’s time to Fight On!