As a writer for Slam Wrestling, the question I get asked most isn’t about my favourite interview or neatest experience. Rather, it’s how I can stomach watching and recapping Total Bellas, the reality show starring former WWE superstars Brie and Nikki Bella. One word: alcohol.

As long-time readers know, I don’t so much review the show, as I do “hate watch” it. I find all of the characters obnoxious and/or annoying – even one of my favourite performers, Daniel Bryan, who’s married to Brie. I find the situations in which the twins find themselves to be too obviously contrived to be “reality.” And generally, I find the show makes me less of a fan of the Bellas, which I didn’t think was possible after having seen their matches.

So, a couple of seasons ago (unbelievably, this show has lasted five seasons already, and an announcement about a sixth is expected), I created a drinking game, to help make watching the show less painful. I’ve mentioned it in some of my reviews, and have sent it out to people upon request.

But now, as a gift to those of you who’ve joined us on our new site, I  present the “Total Bellas Drinking Game” for all of you to enjoy.

Note – though I use adult beverages to play the game, it can also be played with non-alcoholic drinks, so no need to exclude the teetotalers and kids.  If you do use alcohol, please drink responsibly – don’t overdo it, and definitely don’t drink and drive.

 

TOTAL BELLAS” DRINKING GAME

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Rules:
1) Watch “Total Bellas”
2) Select a category or two from the list. Or, if you’re hardcore, select all of the categories.
3) Take a drink (1 drink = normal swallow, gulp, swig, etc) of your favourite beverage whenever an event listed in one of your selected categories occurs.
4) When your drink is empty, re-fill it. Repeat as necessary.

 

BRIE BELLA

  • Explains where Bryan is when he’s not around – 1 drink
  • Buys something for the house – 1 drink
    • 2 drinks if she asks someone not to tell Bryan that she bought it
    • 3 drinks if someone tells Bryan about it anyway
  • Mentions one of the twins’ businesses / brands by name – 1 drink (for each name said)
  • Wears sunglasses or a hat – 1 drink
    • 3 drinks if she’s doing both at the same time
  • Is called “Brianna” – 1 drink
    • 2 drinks if it’s by someone other than a family member
  • Whines about being too busy – 1 drink
  • Spills someone else’s secret – 2 drinks
  • Says something judgmental about Nikki’s wardrobe – 2 drinks

 

NIKKI BELLA

  • Makes an immature joke / comment about sex or sexual things – 1 drink
  • Uses the wrong word when saying something – 1 drink
    • 2 drinks if she realizes it and asks if that was right
    • 3 drinks if the person she asks doesn’t know it either
  • Makes out with someone in public – 1 drink
  • Talks about an ex-boyfriend – 1 drink
    • 3 drinks if it’s not a professional wrestler
  • Is called “Nicole” – 1 drink
    • 2 drinks if it’s by someone other than a family member
  • Whines about not being engaged or married or having a kid – 1 drink
  • Goes on the offensive when someone calls her out for something she did – 2 drinks
  • Says something about her boobs – 2 drinks

 

 ONE OR BOTH TWINS

  • Reads a book – 2 drinks
  • Wears blue jeans – 3 drinks (first time shown in the scene)
  • Uses a computer – 2 drinks
  • Tells someone to “shut up” – 2 drinks
    • 3 drinks if it is to someone other than the other sister
  • Is shown at the WWE Performance Centre – 2 drinks (first time shown in the scene)
  • The twins are in a car together, but someone else is driving – 2 drinks
  • Is recognized in public (not at an official WWE event or meet & greet) – 1 drink per fan
    • 2 drinks if they are shown being photographed with the fan
    • 3 drinks if they are shown signing an autograph for the fan
  • The twins are wearing matching outfits – 2 drinks
    • 3 drinks if this isn’t for a photo shoot
  • Someone calls one of the twins by the wrong name – 3 drinks

 

OTHER EVENTS

  • Someone kisses an animal – 1 drink
    • 2 drinks if it isn’t a dog
  • Birdie says something – 1 drink (for each line)
  • Someone’s language gets bleeped – 2 drinks (for each bleep)
  • Someone’s X-rays are shown on-screen – 2 drinks
  • Pixellated nudity – 2 drinks
    • Pixellated male nudity – 5 drinks
  • Johnny Ace says something – 2 drinks for every line of dialogue
  • Another WWE Diva appears on screen – 2 drinks (first time she’s shown)
    • 3 drinks if she’s no longer with WWE
    • 5 drinks if she’s in the WWE Hall of Fame
  • Someone leaves the room in an angry huff – 2 drinks
    • 3 drinks if someone follows them
    • 5 drinks if neither the person leaving or chasing them is one of the twins
  • Someone says “WrestleMania” – 2 drinks (every time it’s said)
  • Anyone gets slapped (not in a match) – 3 drinks
  • Someone cries on-screen – 3 drinks
  • “To be continued” – 3 drinks
  • Both of the twins are wearing bikinis – 4 drinks
  • Dog poop on-screen – 4 drinks
  • Someone bleeds on-screen – 5 drinks
  • A McMahon is shown on-screen – 5 drinks
  • Someone is shown winning a championship – 5 drinks
  • Howard Finkel’s voice is heard – finish your drink
  • Someone says “Brie Mode” – yell it out and finish your drink

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