Three main events, five championship matches in total, and a crowd hungry to see history happen. The stage is set for what felt like overkill going into the night with three matches in the cell, but it somehow worked with all having their own style. The show culminated in the first ever Women’s Hell in a Cell match, so that’s where the review will begin. Read on for the full results!
Both main event combatants come in with a little extra dazzle: Charlotte carried in on a throne, and Banks in a luxury ride. As they stand in the ring awaiting the dropping of the cell, Charlotte actually looks a little worried. Then, again, maybe she was just planning, as she delivers a sneak attack before the bell, knocking Banks out and under the halted cage. They fight around the barrier and on the side of the cage before Charlotte sets the tone by powerbombing Banks into an announce table.
The refs keep Charlotte back and they help Banks try to walk, but she keeps collapsing. Medics come out and get her on a stretcher with her head braced. As this continues, the announcement comes on to announce Charlotte’s win by default. Before that’s official, though, Banks springs to life, knocking the medics away and entering the cell.
She launches her attack, fuelled by adrenaline, running Charlotte into the cage, but the challenger turns it right around by driving Banks’ back into the post and flipping her back-first into the cage. It looks like it will be a quick end to this match, especially as Charlotte brings a chair into the ring. Banks levels the playing field by sending Charlotte into that chair with a drop toe-hold, but things flips the other away immediately as Charlotte drops Banks with a side suplex, again onto the chair.
Not done yet, though, Banks starts a strong sequence by leaping off the cage and driving both knees into Charlotte’s head and chest, then repeating the attack with Charlotte on the floor and in the ring, culminating with a Three Amigos and Frog Splash, bringing out an “Eddie” chant. After Charlotte very quickly escapes a Bank Statement, she drags Banks through the ropes, drives her head onto the steps, then goes shopping under the ring for a table.
Charlotte thinks about suplexing Banks off the top rope to the table on the floor, but the champ kicks her off and sends Charlotte tumbling through the table herself. Looking infuriated, maybe because she wanted Charlotte to land on the table but not go through it, Banks brings out another table and it stands in the ring. Charlotte spins Banks into the Figure-Eight, but Banks gets her hands on a chair and bangs her away out of it.
Setting the table up leaning into a corner, Banks picks Charlotte up for a powerbomb of her own but her back gives way, allowing Charlotte to toss her into the table twice, following with Natural Selection to get the pinfall, the championship, and the claim as the first-ever women’s victor in the cell.
The next WWE pay-per-view is Survivor Series on November 20th.
FULL RESULTS
Michael Cole, Byron Saxton, and Corey Graves bring us the commentary from Boston, MA.
Match #1 – Hell in a Cell for the United States Championship: Rusev vs. Roman Reigns (champion)
Not surprisingly, with this contest featuring a heel that’s somewhat popular and a face that’s somewhat despised, Lana gets the biggest cheer while she introduces her husband. As the opening tilt for the night, the match takes its time getting started, with many punches and clotheslines showcased by the two rams battling for supremacy. Rusev does take the first bump into the cags, knocked backwards off of the apron, and opening a cut on the back of his right arm. Reigns follows up by driving the challenger into the steps which, unlike during your normal matches, do not budge for Rusev.
As Reigns looks to up the ante, dragging a table out from under the ring, Rusev takes over by driving the champ into the cage, eventually bringing the action back into the ring. Proving that the little things can still be awesome, Rusev delivers an impressive hip toss on Reigns, and not long afterwards returns the favour of the steel steps three times over: first, running Reigns into them, and then hoisting them and driving them into the champ twice.
As Rusev takes a little too long pandering after this attack, Reigns returns to the power position with the aid of a kendo stick that Rusev himself had produced. The tables turn again, though, as the challenger ties Reigns up in the ropes and hits him back before breaking the stick over his knee (to the disappointment of the crowd). After Reigns frees himself, a flurry of reversals ends with a Superman Punch and the first real near-fall.
The end seems near again right after that kick-out, but Reigns powers out of The Accolade, so Rusev goes extra-curricular again, finding a chain and beating down the champ before bringing another set of stairs into the ring. He not only clamps on another Accolade, on top of the steps, but is pulling back on the chain strapped across the champ’s open mouth. For no reason, Rusev releases the chain, with Reigns escaping moments later and spearing Rusev off the steps for the successful defense.
Winner via pinfall and STILL United States Champion: Roman Reigns
Todd Phillips is backstage with Kevin Owens, who is supremely confident about his upcoming match with Rollins, against the challenger’s doctors’ advice. He acknowledges the brutal match we just watched for the U.S. Title, but promises it will look like a cakewalk compared to what he does to Rollins.
Match #2 – Bayley vs. Dana Brooks
Brooke gains the advantage quickly by pushing Bayley around and keeps on adding to her overpowering attack, focusing especially on the injured right arm. Bayley, however, survives the lengthy beating, and takes control for only a few moments with a Bayley-to-Belly, but it’s enough for a pin.
Brooks with a patronizing pat on the head. Obviously, Bayley would have wanted a hug instead. Photo: WWE
Winner via pinfall: Bayley
Stephanie McMahon and Mick Foley are in the back, excited for their show tonight and for their prospects in taking on Smackdown in next month’s Survivor Series. Chris Jericho arrives, with a suggestion that he is the ideal first pick for Team Raw, along with his best friend Kevin Owens as co-captain. Foley doesn’t respond as well to the suggestion as Jericho hoped, so his name is going on the list.
Match #3 – Enzo Amore & Big Cass vs. Karl Anderson & Luke Gallows)
Amore is in first, and is physically outmatched against both Anderson and Gallows as they tag in and out, until a leaping DDT on Anderson gives Amore a chance to bring in Cass who manhandles both opponents. He boots Anderson off the apron to the floor and brings Gallows down with what looked like a very gentle and cautious body slam.
Amore ends up back in the ring and wins a punching match with Gallows, only to lose a face versus boot contest. Gallows and Anderson hit Amore with the Magic Killer for what ends up being a very non-humourous victory.
Winners via pinfall: Anderson and Gallows
Match # 4 – Seth Rollins vs. Kevin Owens (champion) – Hell in a Cell Match for the WWE Universal Championship
Rollins keeps things simple early on, from a snapmare to a flurry of chops, but Owens whips him into a corner and delivers two sentons to Rollins’ taped-up back; oh wait, there goes the tape as Owens adds insult to injury by ripping it off. After Owens adds attack after attack to Rollins’ back, he throws him over the top rope and sends him like a missile into the cage. Owens continues the focused attack with two cannonballs, one with Rollins propped up in the corner, and one against the cage.
A desperate burst of energy from Rollins sees him connect with a superkick, but Owens repays it immediately with one of his own and a splintering clothesline. Owens gets creative while Rollins is recuperating, leaning a table from the apron to the cell, right above a table Rollins had set up on the floor earlier. Before we get to that, though Owens produces a fire extinguisher. He hits Rollins in the gut, but accidentally discharges it into the referee’s face. While the second ref escorts his colleague out, Chris Jericho sneaks in and locks himself inside the cage.
As Owens was primed to be Pedigreed, Jericho leaps into the ring to take one for the team. Owens looks to follow up by powerbombing Rollins into the tables, but Rollins slips out and very impressively hoists Owens up for his own powerbomb, knocking Owens out cold. Rollins drags the champ back in and hits a Frog Splash, but Jericho interrupts what was a certain three-count. Rollins falls prey to a destructive double-team advantage, ending with Owens powerbombing Rollins onto two chairs for the successful defence.
Winner via pinfall and STILL WWE Universal Champion: Kevin Owens
It’s not over with the bell, though, as Jericho hits a Codebreaker on Rollins just after he struggled to his feet.
Match #5 – Brian Kendrick vs. TJ Perkins (champion) – for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship
We get footage from a conversation during the warm-up show, in which Kendrick asks Perkins to let him win. At least he asked him reasonably politely. As the match opens and Kendrick gets a couple of near-falls, he stares at Perkins, wonder on his face as to why he’s even kicking out. So, Plan B sees Kendrick get more vicious. He knocks Perkins to the floor then uses the champ’s own wrist tape to handcuff him to the rope (at least theoretically, as Perkins was left trying to mime the fact that his hand was tied up).
This could surely be used for some kind of “provide a caption” photo contest. Photo: WWE
Perkins gets control with a dropkick to the back of Kendrick’s head, sending the challenger rolling to the floor where he’s also subjected to a fan’s vulgar insistence that he get a haircut. This may have inspired him a bit, as he gets back in the ring and nearly catches a quick win with a belly-to-back suplex. Both escape each other’s submission holds before Kendrick tries Sliced Bread #2, missing the move and apparently hurting his knee in the landing. Perkins looks very concerned, moving in to help his opponent up only to be headbutted and cinched into a second Captain’s Hook from which Perkins cannot escape.
Winner and NEW Cruiserweight Champion: Brian Kendrick
Backstage, Sheamus and Cesaro are finding each other surprisingly in sync, until they have a hard time deciding who will lead the team to victory tonight.
Match #6 – Sheamus and Cesaro vs. The New Day (Big E Langston & Xavier Woods) (champions) w/Kofi Kingston – for the WWE World Tag Team Championship
We are immediately brought up to speed on the record chase: The New Day have been champs for 434 days to Demolition’s 478. Sheamus and Cesaro spend the opening moments tagging themselves in and taking turns knocking Woods around. Woods catches Cesaro off-guard with a dropkick from the top, tagging in Langston who lands some impressive belly-to-belly suplexes on Sheamus, though the Irishman quickly counters with a powerslam.
Langston tags out and Woods enters with a cross-body off the top rope, but Sheamus catches him and plants him with White Noise. Cesaro enters and it’s swing time. With Woods dizzied up, Langston forces his way in and suplexes Cesaro out of the Sharpshooter. Sheamus tries to help out but hits Cesaro with the Brogue Kick. As Cesaro recovers, Sheamus attacks all three members of The New Day. Once Cesaro comes to, he catches Woods in the Sharpshooter in the middle of the ring. Both Langston and Kingston try to interfere to help, and when the ref sees Kingston attack Sheamus he calls for the bell (moments before Woods taps).
Winners via disqualification: Sheamus and Cesaro. STILL WWE World Tag Team Champions: The New Day
Match #7 – Charlotte vs. Sasha Banks (champion) – Hell in a Cell match for the WWE Women’s Championship
Winner and NEW WWE Women’s Champion: Charlotte
Hell in a Cell 2016
Really, the cage matches were just too much of a good thing. Did Rusev and Reigns really need a Hell in a Cell match?
Side note: before the show, I answered my daughter’s question tonight with ‘Yes, Daddy’s watching Beep in a Cell’. So, for those of you oh-so-worried about the supposed tameness of the PG-era, remember that it could always be worse.