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Total Divas: Au revoir to Paris, France. Rosa hangs up her pregnancy pants. Nikki’s forced to quit the dance.

This week, the season comes to a close, with Rosa receiving a bundle of joy, and Nikki receiving a bundle of bad news. Not as bad as the news that Total Divas will be returning next year along with a spin-off, “Total Bellas”, that will be focusing on Nikki and Brie and family, along with their respective men, John Cena and Daniel Bryan. Meaning that next year, I’ll have to suffer twice as much to provide these recaps. See, I never should have taken the past couple of weeks off – perhaps I could have done something to prevent it.

The episode starts off with a few of the girls going out for dinner in Paris – except Mandy, who wasn’t invited. Nattie gets a text from Rosa that says that Mandy is back at the hotel bawling for the exclusion, which makes Nattie feel bad. Eva Marie, Mandy’s so-called BFF, says she feels bad about dumping Mandy but notes that she was only a guest of the Bellas herself, so wasn’t her place to invite Mandy. A guy comes up to the table and flirts with Brie, but when he sees her wedding ring, he leaves. Apparently, Nikki, Nattie, and Eva Marie are chopped liver. Or as the French say, pâté.

The foursome go to the Eiffel Tower, where Nikki wishes that John Cena would propose. She tells the others that Cena told her that he wouldn’t be opposed to marrying her, but she has to learn how to wrestle first. Actually, she has to stop bothering him about having kids. She says that she’s accepted that.

The next day, Paige, Alicia Fox, and Mandy go out in Paris, and Mandy appreciates them hanging out with her after the Bellas, Nattie, and especially Eva made her feel like a pariah.

Rosa and her man Bobby are out sightseeing in Paris, and Bobby the idiot thinks he’s going to see Noah’s Ark. Dummy… in Paris, it’s called Noah’s Arc. They talk marriage, and Rosa’s ready to go, but Bobby says they should wait until after their kid is born. They also disagree over getting a church marriage or a secular one. Bobby says he’d rather cut off both arms than be married by a priest, which would make for one heck of a good episode so maybe during ratings sweeps week.

Over brunch, Foxy suggests they hold a baby shower for Rosa, and then go to Moulin Rouge for a photo shoot, for which she’s already bought them costumes. Paige and Mandy are a bit hesitant at first, but ultimately agree to the idea.

Back at the hotel, Nattie visits Mandy’s room to clear up any tension for bailing on her earlier. Nattie apologizes and then gives Mandy a makeover. Mandy tells Nattie that they’re cool, but she’s more upset with Eva. Nattie confides in Mandy that she doesn’t want to do Foxy’s photo shoot, and wouldn’t you know, that darn Alicia is on the other side of the door eavesdropping and hears this. She’s ticked. She rushes over to Rosa’s room to tell Paige and Rosa what Nattie said, and insults Nattie’s intelligence and her odour. Rosa’s upset that everyone seems to be mad at one another despite Paris being the city of love.

Eva sees the three of them whispering to one another and tries to stir the pot. While all of them are in the room, she asks about the photo shoot and the finger-pointing begins.

Then all of the crap between them comes out, including Mandy and the Bellas talking about their not inviting her to the dinner, Nattie and Foxy clearing the air about the photo shoot. Ultimately, they all agree to communicate better, and this seems to set everything smooth again.

Except with Eva Marie, who tracks down Mandy to talk about the dinner snub. Mandy explains that she felt left out by Eva who she considers a friend. Eva tells Mandy that she still feels like she’s walking on eggshells with the Bellas since she’s just returned to the fold, so didn’t want to rock the boat by suggesting the invitation be extended to Mandy. Mandy kind of understands, but still doesn’t feel Eva was in the right. She forgives, but won’t forget.

All of the girls head out for the dinner for Rosa’s baby shower. Foxy gives a toast to her friend, which Rosa appreciates greatly. They all bond together over dinner, and then head over to the Moulin Rouge show where the love continues. Which would be a great way to end the season, but unfortunately, we’re only halfway through the episode.

Back in the US, Rosa shows her engagement ring to Big Show, who is happy for her. She does her last backstage interview before she heads off for maternity leave, an interview with Dolph Ziggler. Hopefully Vince doesn’t watch this show, because Ziggler dropped the word “wrestler” in his promo. They throw Rosa a farewell party backstage, and she loves her WWE family. I wouldn’t, considering how they all scraped off the icing with their fingers, and that’s gross, you pigs, who’s going to eat that cake now?

Two months later, Nikki is heading to the hospital for an MRI, and Cena’s off rehabbing his shoulder, so Mama Bella is called in to babysit their new dog. Mama Bella is worried about Nikki going for surgery if the MRI results are bad, but Nikki just wants to wrestle, God help us. Nikki says she’s in constant misery and feels lousy all the time, so surgery may be the only option.

At Bobby’s parents’ place, Rosa starts to feel cramps, and it looks like it’s time (not Vader time, sadly). She packs a bunch of stuff and they head to the hospital.

After her MRI, Nikki calls Brie with the bad news that the doctor told her that the MRI results were not good. They’re understandably upset.

Rosa had her kid, no thanks to Dr. Snitsky. Bobby’s mom is there to help her after the delivery, and Rosa is upset that her own mother isn’t able to make it.

Nikki tells Mama Bella that she will likely have to go for surgery. They’re both upset, but Mama Bella tells her to wait for the surgery. Nikki is still in disbelief about the whole thing, because she doesn’t want her wrestling career to be over before she learned how to wrestle. She feels like she’s giving up her constant physical pain for the emotional pain of not being able to do what she loves.

Bobby and Rosa are still at his parents’ house, and trying to learn how to take care of Jordan, their daughter – if nothing else, Rosa’s got the breast-feeding thing down. Rosa’s mom won’t visit her, because she’s ultra-Christian and Rosa has caved into Bobby’s non-religious views somewhat, agreeing that they’d let Jordan make up her own mind about whether she wants to practice religion, and if so, which one.

Brie is worried about her and Nikki’s upcoming meeting with WWE suit Mark Carrano, because she knows it could spell the end of the Bella Twins.

Rosa and Bobby drive around, and Rosa laments the fact that her mom isn’t there to support her. Bobby disses Rosa’s mom for abandoning her and choosing her religion over her daughter. It got so bad that Rosa’s mom told Rosa to tell Jordan that she was going to burn in hell because she wasn’t raised Christian from day one. Wow, Granny, that’s stiff.

Cena calls Nikki who’s heading to the arena for her meeting with Carrano. Cena tells Nikki that her priority should be on getting better and living a pain-free life, and if that means she can’t wrestle anymore, then so be it. It certainly would reduce the pain we all feel in watching her matches.

Rosa and Bobby are thrilled with their daughter. Pffft, who’d she ever beat? Rosa suggests they move to Pittsburgh to be closer to his parents, since there’s no point in living close to her mom anymore. He’s fine with that idea, and tells her they need to focus on the good and not the bad.

The Bellas head into their meeting with Carrano. He tells her that her health is the paramount priority for the company, and says that they are waiting for the company’s doctor to opine, but it’s quite possible that the injury is career-ending. Nikki breaks down, saying that she wants the chance to have one last match. But he says that if the doctor says to pull the plug, that’s what will have to happen.

The Bellas leave, and Nikki is kind of numb with shock of the news. She is optimistic that she will have one last match, but is frustrated because she doesn’t know for sure what is going to happen, but that she has much more to give and do. But not until next season — see you all then.

Bob Kapur hopes you’ve enjoyed the coverage of Total Divas this season as much as he’s disliked watching it. Feel free to e-mail him your thoughts at bobkapur@hotmail.com. See you next season for both Total Divas and Total Bellas!

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