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Total Divas: Paris, je t’aime

Tonight on Total Divas, we hit the penultimate episode as the Divas travel to Paris. However, the city of love and romance needs to mend a rift between Alicia and Rosa. Plus, Nikki goes into vacation mode and Nattie gets to see an unfamiliar sight! All that and more on this week’s edition of Total Divas!

Nikki and Nattie go to chiropractic therapy and ice themselves up to help their injuries. The Bellas and Alicia backstage planning their Europe tour and Alicia is not looking forward to dealing with Rosa after her baby shower drama. We go to Paris, France in the Diva bus. The group wants to go to the Eiffel Tower, but the Bellas are out because they are taking their grandma in a few weeks for a bucket list trip. We go to the suites and everyone is looking to bunk up. Rosa wants a room with a bathroom and she wants a room without Alicia and Paige, too. The Divas wine and dine and Paige and Alicia are the only ones in one house suite because all the Divas pick the other half.

Just kidding, Eva Marie and Mandy need beds. Eva and Foxy iron out their car trip tiff and the “outcasts” get to drinking some wine. Fox is done with Rosa, but is she going white or all red everything on her next drink? We’ll find out after this break!

(Commercials)

Nikki isn’t going to let some injury get between her and her macaroons. Alicia is not going to be Eiffel Towering with the gang and the gang talk about boyfriends and how many…pieces of equipment Nattie has seen since TJ was her “first everything.” Ah, Paris, the city of love! Or something like that? Anyway, Paige has a rose petal trail for the gals at the Eiffel Towel. Why? Find out after the break, maybe!

(Commercials)

There is a Bobby at the end of the rose petals and he has an engagement ring for Rosa. Rosa has to wipe away some tears of joy as we go to prep for the media event. A rock isn’t going to bring Foxy and Rosa together though, so we head to the rooftops for photoshoots and interviews. Brie is trying to play dietician for Nikki and Nikki ain’t having it. Rosa and Bobby lock the cameraman out of their bedroom for some reason! Boy, I wonder…Bellas eat cheese and Brie gets a piece of brie. Nikki asks if Brie is excited to taste herself. The innuendo is not discrete this episode, it seems. Dinner by the Eiffel Tower to celebrate Rosa’s engagement and some baby talk and a toast. Foxy says she can’t believe they are getting married and Rosa isn’t really on talking terms just yet. More importantly, we will see if they get dessert after commercials!

(Commercials)

Brie wants Nikki to go to the gym and Nikki is in vacation mode. Eva Marie is going to go biking with the Bellas and Alicia is trying to find a way to have a talk with Rosa. Mandy didn’t get invited with Eva Marie to ride bikes and she’s feeling a little left out. Will Mandy be the third wheel on this Total Divas tricycle? More bad segues and jokes after this!

(Commercials)

Bakeries and bicycles for Eva Marie and the twins. Eva thanks them for inviting her and giving her a chance to do what she wants to do. Alicia and Rosa take a walk from the group. They hug it out. Nikki and Brie continue to talk calories as they ride bikes and Nikki doesn’t want a food fight as we break.

(Commercials)

Eva and the twins go to the cafe and Brie realizes she needs to be more sensitive to Nikki while she’s injured. Paige has a model come in so the Divas can come in and paint him like one of their French girls. Also, Paige wants Nattie to see another man’s junk. Nattie is a bit repulsed, it seems. The ladies have a chef to make some macaroons and John has booked the Bellas dinner at a famous restaurant. Eva goes along with them and oh…whoa, whoa…Mandy’s crying!

(Commercials)

Paige and the gang help Mandy out and assure her she’s welcome, but Mandy is not soon going to forget what Eva has done.

Nolan Howell has terrible puns and pop culture references, but Bob Kapur will be back next week so don’t send too much hate mail. He can be reached at nth993@gmail.com for any questions or comments.

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