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Double Total Divas: Rosa’s scared her man’s a lout; Cena’s tough love makes Nikki pout; Paige helps a fan come out; Eva Marie gets a title bout

If you’re suffering the flu like this reporter was last week, you certainly don’t want to make yourself feel worse by watching this show. Which is why SLAM! Wrestling presents a double dose of the Divas in this report. On last week’s episode, Rosa’s as fragile as Nikki Bella’s neck. This week, Paige helps a fan take a major life step, Daniel Bryan steps on everyone’s fun, and Eva Marie steps closer to the main roster. Check out the full recap for all the details.

Last weeks’ episode

Nattie is at her parent’s place, giving her parents a makeover. She makes her mom look like she’s been beaten up, and talks about powder around her father’s nose, but I am too big a fan of “The Anvil” to make an obvious joke here, so let’s move on.

At Hell in a Cell, Nikki wrestles and loses to Charlotte in what looks like a good match based on the clips they show, but then you realize that’s not possible because Nikki Bella was in it. She says she has passed the torch to the new batch of Divas, and consider that for a minute.

At lunch, Rosa tells Nattie and Mandy that she’s scared that her boyfriend Bobby is going to cheat on her when he goes to Las Vegas with some of his buddies. They tell her to not be too worried, which may be hard, because she’s emotionally fragile.

The Neidharts start looking at old pictures, leading to Nattie suggesting they go get a family portrait done. TJ looks on as they practice selfies.

Rosa tells Bobby that she doesn’t want him to go to Vegas, because she knows that his ex-girlfriend lives there. He says it’s for his T-shirt company business, and insists on going. She gets all whiny, and if he was smart, he’d head for ze hills.

Backstage, WWE suit Mark Carrano talks to Nikki about her recent MRI results. The prognosis is that her spinal cord is messed up, and recommends she be pulled off the European tour, and all wrestling fans in Europe celebrate. Later, NIkki goes to a chiropractor for her first therapy session, and gives her a dog collar which she has to wear three times a day.

The Neidharts try on outfits for the family photo, but nobody likes Nattie’s mom’s designs — pink shirts with creepy skeleton handprints on them.

The news that Nikki may not be able to wrestle again sinks in, and even though I’m thrilled, Nikki’s not. Her mom suggests she ask John Cena to coach her through things since he’s the king of post-rehab comebacks. Then, they remember that they’re Bellas, so have to say stupid things, and then speculate on whether alligators can use their tails to bounce up and down like Tigger or something.

Mandy and her brothers take Rosa to the beach, and Mandy strips down to a tiny bikini, and this show got a lot better. Rosa sees a social media picture of Bobby in a pool, shirtless with some guy, and gets mad that he’s out there having fun on a work trip. I think she should be more worried about her man hanging around shirtless with some other dude — not that there’s anything wrong with that. She calls him, but it goes straight to voicemail, which worries her even more. Mandy’s brothers start joking about how Robby is partying it up, prompting Mandy to suggest some fun beach stuff, to get Rosa’s mind off of Bobby.

Nikki joins Cena in the gym, and his trainer gives her some light exercises that won’t hurt her neck. The trainer tells her to stop drinking wine, which she doesn’t want to do. Then Cena has to confiscate her phone, because it’s distracting her from working out.

Mandy and brothers go visit Rosa’s house, and she tells them that Bobby hasn’t responded to any of her attempted calls or texts. While they drive around, he finally calls her, only to question the guys that she’s with (Mandy’s brothers). She brings up his Vegas shenanigans, and the discussion gets a bit too tense for Mandy and family, who are listening to this over the car speaker phone. They go for dinner, and try to give Rosa a pep talk.

It’s portrait day, and everyone’s gathered at Nattie’s. The photographer comes over, after everyone squeezes themselves into their ugly pink costumes. Nobody is able to treat this seriously, and this angers Nattie. The next day, TJ reminds her that the picture was supposed to be a fun thing, and everyone had fun doing it, so why does she have to be a kill-joy. She realizes that he’s right, and everyone hugs it out.

Cena takes Nikki and her mom out for dinner. He warns Nikki that she’s only going to get one glass of wine, and is horrified to see both of them guzzling away. He questions Nikki on her commitment to get better and whether or not she’s following the rehab regimen, and this makes her mad.

Rosa’s pack, when Bobby comes back early from Vegas. Rosa questions him on his Vegas trip, and in return, he brings up her cavorting on the beach with Mandy’s brothers. He’s upset that she doesn’t seem to trust him, even though he’s given her no reason to doubt him. He finally breaks down and tells her that he went there to look for an engagement ring that he could surprise her with. She starts crying and all is forgiven.

Back at home, Cena gets all rehab-Nazi on Nikki, chastising her for not having done her rehab exercises and wearing her dog collar. She brushes him off, and it’s clear she needs an Attitude Adjustment. Literally. He gives up trying, and walks away in frustration. Nikki’s mom, seeing her daughter’s meal ticket walking away, tells Nikki to do what he says. Nikki goes to Cena and apologizes for getting mad at him. They agree that Cena shouldn’t coach Nikki, since they have wildly different work ethics when it comes to rehab. Then they make their way to the bedroom as the show comes to a close.

This week’s episode:

The Bellas meet some young fans on the street and take pictures with them. The one kid gives Nikki some flowers, and she trumpets about how Brie didn’t get any.

Paige and Alicia go out for lunch with a fan who’s looking for some support before coming out to his family, who he expects will not be supportive. He credits Paige as being a role model for him, and has inspired him to just be himself.

Backstage, Mandy asks Nattie if she would work out with her again and help her train. Nattie agrees, but they’ll have to schedule it for after she gets back from her family vacation at a resort. Mandy mentions how her parents are separated and so she hasn’t gone on a family trip for a long time, so Nattie suggests she and her family come along.

At a show in Phoenix, the Bellas’ hometown, they meet up with their brother JJ. NIkki tells him that she’s going to have to take a week off, as they figure out if she will need surgery for her neck. Meantime, Brie’s also got some time off so she can take a detoxing vacation with Bryan.

Eva Marie and Mandy get called in by WWE suit Mark Carrano, who suggests they come up with some ideas to get them onto TV. He suggests Eva think about going blonde, an idea she’s clearly uncomfortable with.

Backstage, Paige tells some of the others about the fan she’s going to help come out to his parents. Renee, Summer Rae, and Nattie warn her about all the negative things that could go wrong with the plan. Paige is surprised they’re not fully supportive about it, but seem to understand a little when they suggest she be accompanied by a security guard.

Brie, Bryan, JJ, and JJ’s wife Lauren drive off to this spiritual retreat. Bryan tells them about what kind of hippie nonsense they’re going to participate in, and Lauren is very unenthused. The lack of any decent food and any alcohol whatsoever really turn her off.

Backstage, Nattie tells Alicia about how Mandy is bringing 15 people to the vacation. Nattie wonders show she’s going to tell TJ about this wrinkle in their vacation plans.

Elsewhere, Mandy and Eva talk to R-Truth to get his advice about their “Red & Gold” team idea. Truth suggests they incorporate some hip-hop moves in their repertoire, but they’re really bad dancers.

Renee and Dean Ambrose join in on the spiritual retreat trip, and this may be the first time it’s acknowledged on WWE TV that they’re a couple. They all sit down to a vegetarian healthy meal, which Bryan loves but the others seem unimpressed by. Meanwhile, Bryan talks about cleansing themselves, suggesting they revel in the scenic views to nourish themselves.

Paige tells Alicia how the other Divas put a damper on her idea to help the fan come out, and Alicia is surprised that Paige may be having second thoughts. They call the guy, named Dustin, and he tells them how much their support means to him. This tweaks Paige’s heart, and she recommits to helping him.

At home, Nattie tells TJ about Mandy’s family joining them on vacation, and is a bit surprised that he doesn’t have a strong negative reaction. He does actually take the news pretty well.

Driving around, the group on the spiritual retreat (the Spirit Squad?) go around and do the things that Bryan has arranged. The first is to do a healing ceremony in a tepee. Everyone thinks this is idiotic, except for Brie and Bryan, but out of politeness don’t say anything. Until the guru starts blowing on a vuvuzela and it sounds like a farting giraffe, at which point they all start laughing, ruining the serenity of the moment.

At lunch, Eva and Mandy discuss wardrobe suggestions and other gimmicks they can use for their team. Mandy suggests Eva consider the blonde thing, but Eva flat-out rejects the idea, Carrano be damned.

On their trip, Daniel gets upset because everyone’s pigging out on non-healthy stuff. Bryan gets ticked when everyone else starts drinking, even though they all had previously agreed to do things the healthy way. He gets all militant on them, basically calling them weak-willed for drinking, which gets that alcoholic Brie in a snit. Everyone else turns on Bryan too, and they drink while he sits there angry.

Paige and Alicia get to a haunted B&B in Dustin’s hometown. They tell the owner about their plan to help Dustin come out, and he suggests they be careful, drawing on his own experience. His story worries Paige, as she worries that things may not go well for Dustin.

The next day, Bryan suggests the group go for a meditation session, but everyone else just opts to stay in the lodge, Brie included. He lets her know that he’s disappointed in her, and decides to go off on his own.

Paige and Alicia meet Dustin, and they give him some advice on what he can say to his parents when he sits down with them. Paige is awful at coming up with wording for him, and she feels bad that she can’t be more help.

At the Performance Centre, Eva tells trainers Sara (del Ray) and Sarah (Stock) about the suggestion that Carrano had about Eva’s hair. They suggest they brainstorm about wardrobe and entrance, and then think about the other stuff afterwards. Later, Eva confides to Sara about her reservations about the blonde thing. She realizes that her desire to get back onto the main TV roster may require a sacrifice.

The vacationers hit the hot tub — and for you pervs out there, wow, Brie looks good in a teeny bikini, while Renee and Lauren wear way too much — where a flashback shows that Brie actually went with Bryan to the meditation spot earlier that day. But Bryan is nowhere to be found, preferring to stay locked up in his room. She goes to get him, but she asks him to join everyone and have fun with them. He would prefer a quiet night, and tells her to go ahead and party with them while he gets some sleep. She insists he join them, and he finally does, and actually has fun for once.

It’s the Tribute to the Troops show, and Eva and Nattie are doing a lot of the pre-show autograph sessions. At lunch, Eva tells Nattie about Carrano’s suggestion. Nattie says that Eva has done a lot of work to improve her work and build up her brand on NXT, and to give that up and team with an unproven Mandy may be counterproductive for her career. Nattie says to look out for number one.

Dustin goes home with Paige and Alicia in tow, and introduces the Divas to his family. After some pleasantries, he gets serious, and tells his family that he’s gay. They accept him unconditionally. Paige and Alicia are glad that they could be there to support him through this hard step. Paige says it’s stories like that and experiences like that that make her proud to be a Diva.

It’s Eva Marie’s big night, where she’s facing Bayley for the NXT Womens’ Championship. Before the match, Michael Hayes gives her a pep talk, saying that she’s erased any doubts he had that she had what it takes to come back and improve herself to the point that she could reach this level. The match goes well. Afterwards, Mandy congratulates Eva on the match. Eva tells her that she wants to continue on with building her character solo. Mandy is okay with this, especially when Eva promises (with some irritating vocal fry that Mandy copies — like this show couldn’t get more annoying) that Team Red and Gold will be a reality some day.

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Bob Kapur is still not 100% after his recent battle with the flu. E-mail him your household remedies at bobkapur@hotmail.com.

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