Before a show, Renee Young tells the Bellas she got a scooter for her birthday. Brie is intrigued by the thought of getting a scooter, but Nikki thinks she’s too clumsy and uncoordinated to drive one. She must have seen some of Brie’s matches.
Backstage, Rosa’s gorging on catering, and Nattie food-shames her before sharing the plate. Nattie wants to show off pictures of her cat, but neither Rosa nor Paige are interested. Paige is too busy, it would seem, since she’s trumpeting about how she’s in all the central Diva storylines and having some of the best matches. Too bad her relationship with her ex-fiancee Kevin is in the toilet.
Backstage, Nikki chastises Renee for encouraging Brie’s scooter dreams. She asks Renee to tell Brie some of her near-accidents in order to scare her out of buying one. On the way, they run into the scooter-riding Zeb Colter who has not idea what’s going on. They find Brie but Renee pulls a swerve and only pushes the idea some more. Still, Nikki makes Brie promise not to buy a scooter. Meaning that later on this episode Brie will buy a scooter because this show is predictably stupid.
Paige and Kevin go grocery shopping, but the tension is pretty thick between them. Kevin’s agreed to put on a happy face for a while because Paige’s mom, Saraya Knight, is coming to visit and Paige doesn’t want to know about her relationship woes. Paige picks up Saraya from the airport, and on the way to the house from the airport, Saraya talks about how much she likes Kevin, causing Paige to quickly change the subject. At the house, Saraya fawns all over Kevin, making Paige uncomfortable. The viewers too – that hug was a little too long and overly-familiar.
Renee and Brie drive around and spend the trip badmouthing Nikki. Brie says she’s going to buy a scooter just to spite Nikki. Brie tells Renee that she’s going to buy a bike from someone on Craigslist, and Renee continues to instigate, talking about the Craigslist murderer. They call the seller and agree to meet at a public place.
At home, Rosa shows her boyfriend all the food that she bought, including a giant strawberry shortcake. He gets angry, scolding her about her constant eating. Then, realizing that she’s his meal ticket and that he’d better stop before she gets mad and leaves him because then he’d be just some homeless loser, he shuts up and they eat cake together.
Paige is dancing with some random at a bar while Saraya and Kevin watch. Saraya continues her fascination (and now it’s getting just a bit creepy) with Kevin, saying she wants to go to his gig the next night. Paige realizes she needs to have a talk with her mom and fill her in about things.
Brie, Renee, and Bryan go meet the scooter seller, and Renee gives Brie a test spin. Brie thinks it’s perfect since she and Bryan only have one car, so this will be a good second vehicle. They cut a good deal on a pair of scooters.
Later, Rosa’s boyfriend has installed cameras all around the house, including the kitchen. Rosa’s ticked, because she’s worried that he’s spying on her eating.
Saraya and Paige head to a trampoline park and play-wrestle. After, they go to a restaurant where Paige is planning on telling her about her and Kevin’s status. But she chickens out. When Saraya calls her out on holding back on something, Paige throws a tantrum and leaves. Saraya follows her out, and they argue some more. I think they just dined and dashed!
The guy comes and delivers the scooters, and Brie and Bryan are thrilled. Brie and Renee head out for a spin.
In the car, Saraya tries to get Paige to open up. Paige says she’s feeling a lot of stress, but won’t say anything else. Saraya compliments Kevin again, and that has Paige even more reluctant to tell her the truth.
Rosa joins Eva Marie and Mandy for lunch and she orders enough food for herself, the baby, and a family of four. She talks about how much pregnancy weight she’s gained. She tells the girls about the cameras her boyfriend has installed, and they’re outraged. They suggest she eat more on camera just to tick him off. Because that’s healthy.
The Bella family goes for lunch, and Nikki is angry to see Brie pull up to the restaurant on a scooter. She goes to the parking lot to yell at her and Renee. The nagging continues throughout the lunch, others chime in, and God this family is annoying.
At home, Rosa asks Bobby if he’s had a chance to look at the camera footage of her stuffing her face full of food. He hadn’t seen it, and she reveals it was done as a prank. So the joke’s on who? She says she did it because she felt he was trying to make her feel bad for eating too much. He confessed that he did it because he was guilty because it was really him that was eating too much. He had been eating all the snack foods she kept bringing in and gained 20 pounds. He apologizes, and all is good. And now here’s Wilford Brimley to talk to you about the diabeetus.
Saraya and Paige go to a park to hash things out. Saraya tells Paige she needs to be careful about burning out and making stupid decisions, and all Saraya wants to do is make sure she’s okay. Her tears make Paige come clean about her and Kevin’s relationship issues. She apologizes, and she lets Saraya know she appreciates her love and support.
Rosa and Bobby head to the doctor’s office for her 20-week checkup. The ultrasound reveals everything is fine. But the doctor tells her to cut down on the cakes and cupcakes.
Nikki comes to visit Brie and Bryan and undoubtedly bug her some more about the scooter. Bryan says he’s not scared about Brie riding a scooter, and that he’s annoyed by Nikki telling them how to live their lives. They argue some more until Nikki finally realizes that Brie’s going to do what she’s going to do. The logical conclusion to this would be for Brie to get into a horrible scooter accident right at the end of the show, but I’m not hopeful this will happen.
Offscreen, Paige and Kevin have officially called it quits, and she has some of her friends over to help clean out her stuff from the apartment. Just when you think this show couldn’t get more irritating, Paige’s friend has the most annoying vocal fry – hopefully this is a one-and-done appearance for her. She moves into a new place, ready to live her life Kevin-free. But then calls him to check how he’s doing. They have an awkward conversation, but seem to end up on non-hateful terms.
Bob Kapur would gladly be the rebound guy for Paige. She can e-mail him at bobkapur@hotmail.com.
