Unfortunately, last week’s report didn’t get written up in time, because this writer thought it would be more entertaining to bash his head against the wall repeatedly instead of watching the episode. As punishment for abandoning my post, the higher-ups at SLAM! Wrestling have ordered a double report this week. Feel my pain and check out the full recap below for all the details.
Last week’s episode
Outside the arena, Brie tells Nikki that Daniel Bryan’s doctors have told him to stay out of the ring for the time being. Somebody should tell that to his wife and her sister. Later, they watch backstage as Daniel has to surrender his Intercontinental Championship due to his injury.
The next day, Paige is out with her boyfriend Kevin, and they’re out jewelry shopping. He drops so not-so-subtle hints about wanting to buy her a ring, but she completely no-sells him.
Trinity and Jimmy Uso are out for dinner with Tamina, and Jimmy has everyone laughing. Trinity suggests that he try his hand at stand-up comedy. He says no, saying that he doesn’t want to get up on stage and fail.
While picnicking in Central Park, Brie tells Nikki that she’s not too upset with Bryan having to give up wrestling, since what’s more important is his health and well-being. Nikki tells Brie to give her head a shake before she tells Daniel that, since he’s likely upset by the possibility. But Brie has baby fever and she thinks that his being not able to wrestle will likely mean he has more time to be a daddy.
Paige told the Divas about her shopping experience with Kevin, and they all think he’s going to propose. For fun, she and Emma start snooping around their apartment when he’s not there, and they find a ring in his coat pocket. She’s completely stressed by the idea of being married – even though she loves him, she thinks it’s much too soon.
At lunch, the Bellas celebrate Daniel’s birthday with her family, and they share some good news – that he’s been cleared by the doctors to wrestle again. But, he says, now it’s up to WWE, as they will look at his entire medical history to assess the risk of him getting back in action. Brie thinks he should stop, but Daniel says that if he gets back into the game, after a couple of years, he could retire and he and Brie could live comfortably forever. The whole Bella family debate this, talking about him like he’s not even at the same table.
Backstage, Dolph Ziggler tells Jimmy he’s got him some stage time at an upcoming comedy show, at Trinity’s request. Jimmy is nervous about it, and Renee Young doesn’t do him any favours by telling him how nerve-wracking doing stand-up can be. But Dolph sells him on the idea, and Jimmy’s all in.
Backstage, Paige tells the Divas about finding the ring, and while they all gush over the ring, they all feel she’s too young. Nattie suggests Paige come clean about the snooping and let him know she found the ring. But nobody else thinks that’s a good idea.
At home, Trinity tells her dad about Jimmy’s upcoming comedy show. They have some ideas for him and suggest he practice his routine for them. He tells some embarrassing jokes about Trinity which her dad loves, but she’s unimpressed. She tells him he needs to come up with some new material, and can’t do jokes about her onstage. The next day, Trinity and Dolph talk backstage, and he tells her that she should chill out, since the audience will likely find that stuff funny.
Later, Paige and Kevin are out for dinner, and she’s feeling awkward, trying to steer the conversation as far away as possible from any place where he may feel comfortable proposing. At one point, she ducks into the bathroom to call Alicia and ask her advice on how to avoid getting proposed to. Alicia suggests she play sick, which she does, and she and Kevin leave before he can ask her – if he was even going to do so.
Backstage, Jimmy tries out some new Trinity-free material, but it bombs.
Daniel is at TV to get the word from WWE medical and Vince. He’s optimistic that they’ll let him wrestle again, since his own doctor has given him the green light.
Paige tells Alicia that she’s been avoiding Kevin, but Alicia says she needs to confront him before he actually does propose.
Daniel gets the word that the company is afraid of letting him wrestle again and lets Brie know. He says he’ll wait it out, thinking that eventually they’ll let him get back in the ring. Brie is worried about what may happen, but he tells her that that’s the risk of being a wrestler. Brie doesn’t want him to get back in the ring, but won’t hold him back if that’s really what he wants to do. He asks her if she thinks he’s healthy enough to wrestle, saying that if she doesn’t, he’ll stop. But she doesn’t want to give an answer, saying that he probably won’t listen to her anyway, given how much he wants to come back.
Before his stand-up debut, Jimmy is nervous backstage, afraid that he’s going to fail. Trinity says that he should just embrace the night and have fun – and if it helps, he can use the embarrassing material about her. Ziggler goes up first and the crowd seem to like his act. Jimmy goes up next and, even without using his Trinity material, kills. After his show, he and Trinity celebrate his success.
Kevin and Paige head to a tattoo shop to get Kevin some new ink. He surprises her by proposing to her at the tattoo shop while the hipster tattooist looks on. She hesitantly accepts the proposal, and then in a talking-head segment, says many things that suggest she’s in fact completely unenthusiastic about the idea.
This week’s episode
Nikki Bella is practicing Spanish with a tutor to embrace her half-Mexican heritage, but she’s only interested in learning enough to talk dirty to John Cena.
Backstage, the Divas are all a-twitter about their upcoming Mexican vacation. Naomi and Alicia are told they can’t fight, while Nattie flirts with Naomi. Later, Nattie seems weirded out by the close relationship between her husband TJ (Tyson Kidd) and Cesaro.
Trinity loves playing a heel, and everyone’s impressed by her new buttocks-displaying trunks and an arsenal of butt-based moves (an arse-enal, if you will). Her husband Jimmy Uso isn’t wild about her sexy new look, though.
Over lunch, Nattie gets even more jealous about the bromance between Kidd and Cesaro and complains that the two tag partners bought matching jewelry.
The Bellas get to their Mexican resort, and then they pose in bikinis and this show got interesting for a couple of minutes. But then turned awful again when they start talking again. Apparently, Brie and her dad are estranged over some dumb argument they had. Creeping him online, they find out that Papa Bella’s new woman is expecting a kid. Nikki thinks this is a good opportunity to try to play peacemaker between Brie and Papa Bella.
The other Divas show up, except for Alicia and Trinity, who apparently got into a fight on the plane, got arrested and deported back to the States. But that’s just a joke that Paige played, they’re actually out on the beach being attacked by burrs. Everyone starts drinking, and it looks like they’re getting into Brie Mode!
Nattie tells the girls about how close TJ and Cesaro are.
Paige drops the news that she’s engaged, which ticks off Alicia who’s supposed to be her best friend but didn’t know about it. She’s worried that Paige is taking things too quickly with Kevin, but says she supports her100%.
Nattie suggests that the girls do sexy photo shoots for their men (I concur), but Trinity doesn’t want to, since Jimmy has let her know that he doesn’t want her to dress so provocatively. The Divas get their in-house bartender to take off his shirt, and that sucks.
The girls have a pool party, and everyone’s in their skimpy attire, and this must be sweeps week. Seriously, these beach montages should be the full show every week.
After towelling off, Nikki wants to plan the rest of the trip including catching some of the local sights, but Brie just wants to drink. Nikki thinks that Brie doesn’t want to explore Mexico because she’s still mad at her Mexican dad.
Paige tells Nattie that she should stop talking about TJ and Cesaro, because all it will do is start rumours that TJ is gay. Which is probably not true. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
The next day is another bikini montage but sadly it’s only for a few seconds. Brie then calls Daniel Bryan and complains about Nikki’s new obsession with her Mexican roots. Bryan suggests Brie give her dad a chance, as he lost his dad last year so doesn’t want her to have regrets.
The girls throw Paige an engagement party, but she doesn’t wear her ring. They start grilling her on her plans, but she says she hasn’t even started thinking about all of that yet. They make her try on a wedding veil, and she seems irritated by the whole thing.
Later, the girls go to a bar and everyone has a twerk-off.
The next day, Nikki again tries to get Brie to come out to see the Mayan ruins, but Brie isn’t feeling it. Then Brie admits that it’s because it would remind her of Papa Bella, and she’d rather not deal with that. But after Nikki presses the issue, Brie says she misses her dad.
Trinity gets mad at Alicia for posting pictures of her twerking because Jimmy Uso may see them and get mad. Isn’t that the first sign of being in a bad relationship? The girls say she shouldn’t worry so much about Jimmy, but Trinity says she just wants to respect her husband’s wishes.
On the bus to the Mayan ruins, the girls find out about Dusty Rhodes passing away. All of them are upset by the news, as he was a mentor to all of them. They share stories about the Dream and remember how special he was to each of them. They continue the tour, and the spectacle of the ruins really hits home for Brie, as she starts thinking about how much she misses her relationship with her dad.
That night, the girls tease Nattie about TJ’s relationship with Cesaro, with Paige asking Nattie if she thinks TJ is gay. Nattie gets really offended by the joke. Not that there’s anything wrong with that. Nattie dares Paige to say it to TJ directly so gets him on the phone. His comments don’t really help things, which cracks everyone up. But Nattie gets the point, and says she’ll stop talking about TJ and Cesaro’s friendship all the time.
After dinner, Brie takes the Divas outside where there’s a Mayan dance troupe waiting. Nikki’s thrilled that Brie has embraced her Mexican roots, despite having a strained relationship with her father.
More bikini shots follow, including Trinity who gets skimpy despite what Jimmy Uso may think.
The next day, the girls start grilling Paige some more about her wedding plans, which she hasn’t even started thinking about. All the Bridesmaidzillas have her thinking twice about the decision. If she even thought first about it. She confesses to Alicia that she only accepted the proposal because she didn’t want to lose Kevin – but, really, she doesn’t want to get married. Dun dun dun! Guess we’ll wait to see what happens on next week’s season finale.
Bob Kapur has never done stand-up, got a tattoo, been engaged, or twerked. E-mail him your bucket list at bobkapur@hotmail.com.