This week’s episode sees Nikki Bella trying to get involved in Brie and Daniel Bryan’s sex life, but not in a good way. Meanwhile, Rosa tries to play peacemaker between Ariane and Alicia Fox, and Nattie’s roller coaster of emotions comes crashing down at Trinity and Jimmy Uso’s place. Check out the full recap for all the details.
Nikki Bella is working out and John Cena joins her, wearing a singlet and lucha mask, looking like one of the random Create-A-Wrestlers on a WWE video game. She gets turned on by the look, so they go back into the house so he get the win with a small package, if you know what I mean.
The girls are all backstage watching Brie take on Nikki at Hell in a Cell. Nikki’s happy that the Bellas are getting so much TV time, what with Brie’s feud with Stephanie and now the sisters getting a PPV match against one another.
TJ is back on the road, and Nattie finds it awkward to be paired with him on TV even though their marriage has crumbled. After a show, she tries to talk to him, but he basically shuts her down.
Backstage, Ariane tries to pal around with the girls, but Alicia Fox wants nothing to do with her – apparently, there’s some dislike between them that’s never been mentioned before so is obviously being retro-fitted so that they have a plot for this episode. Ever the trouble-maker, Paige suggests Ariane join Alicia and Rosa on a road trip so that Ariane can try to smooth things over with Alicia. Ariane agrees, because she wants to be friends with Alicia as a way to possibly form a tag team with her and get TV time.
After a show, Nattie flirts with Dolph Ziggler, and then tells Trinity about all the problems she’s having with her life, including having the exterminators coming to her house. Trinity suggests Nattie come stay with her and Jimmy Uso for the night.
While shopping, Brie reveals to Nikki that her and Daniel Bryan don’t use condoms when they Yes! Yes! Yes! or use any other kind of birth control. Nikki is upset because if Brie gets pregnant, it could derail their career. If their horrible wrestling and promo skills couldn’t do it, not sure why a pregnancy would.
Rosa and Alicia are out bikini shopping, and good God. Alicia tells Rosa that if Ariane irritates her when they go on their road trip, Alicia may go ballistic on her.
Nikki tells Cena about all the new Bella merch that WWE is selling, and she tells him she’s worried that if Brie gets pregnant, her ride on the gravy train comes to an end. He rationally suggests that maybe Brie and Bryan actually want to have kids, and that Nikki doesn’t really have any say over what her sister does.
Rosa and Alicia are on their road trip, when Ariane and her loser boyfriend Vinnie show up. Alicia isn’t happy to see Vinnie there, but really who is? Still, they all seem to enjoy themselves at a club, twerking and what not.
Jimmy Uso and Trinity go to pick up Nattie from her exterminator-tent-covered house. Of course, Nattie forgot something, so she has to go back into the house to get it, and possibly either die of poison inhalation or run into Walter White’s trigger-happy meth crew. Jimmy Uso is ready to write her off, but she survives the gas, in order to pick up a checker-board patterned bowl for no reason. On the way to Trinity and Jimmy’s place, she laments about all the bad things going on in her marriage and life in general. Jimmy is great here with his facial reactions, which basically say that he wishes she never would have come back from that bowl expedition.
While landscaping at their house, Brie and Bryan talk about Nikki’s selfish reaction to them having unprotected Yes! Yes! Yes! They talk about having a baby and both are in favour of the idea.
Alicia and Ariane argue over who will drive on the road trip. Alicia wins the battle, but Ariane annoys the heck out of her by criticizing everything about her driving. They finally get to the canyon for a hike and, geez, Ariane won’t shut up. She starts talking about how much she liked going back to NXT to train, and Alicia cattily says that she needed remedial training because she wasn’t very good. They start throwing barbs at one another while Rosa tries to play peacemaker.
The Bellas and Bryan go out for dinner where Nikki is going to try to convince the two to start using protection. She says that Brie is the selfish one, as she is risking throwing away everything they’ve worked so hard for, if she has a baby. She is either the most shallow and self-centred person in the world or…. no, I think that’s right. They threaten to Yes! Yes! Yes! right there just to spite her, but instead, they just tell Nikki that she’s jealous and petty because she’s given up her dream of being married with kids to date John Cena, and doesn’t want them to be happy either.
Nattie’s cat is shedding and pooping all over Jimmy and Trinity’s place, which pretty much sums up Nattie’s life right about now. She starts flipping through their wedding photo album and breaks down over her own broken marriage.
The next day at the hotel, the tension between Ariane and Alicia continues, but they’re all sitting around in bikinis, so all I hear is blah, blah, blah. Ariane eventually walks away in a huff. Rosa chases after her, and forces them to hash things out. Alicia admits that she may have been cool towards Ariane because she saw her as a threat to her spot in the company. They apologize to each other for any perceived slights, and walk away as friends. Not besties just yet, but friends at least.
Trinity lets it slip that Jimmy isn’t thrilled about Nattie’s cat’s continual shedding and pooping, so Nattie hastily packs up to leave. Trinity sits her down for some real talk, saying that she needs to get over her downer mood, and keep her head up. She tells her to focus on the good things in her life instead of wallowing in the bad stuff. They hug it out and Nattie agrees to stay.
Backstage, Nikki meets up with WWE suit Mark Carrano and asks him what would happen if one of the Bellas got pregnant. He tells her that their brand as a duo is stronger than either of their individual brands. What he should have said is for her to stop inventing hypothetical problem scenarios and instead learn how to wrestle, cut good promos, and get over herself already. The WWE merch guy says that her Fearless brand is pretty strong, which swells up her head to the point that she forgot why she was worried in the first place. You mean, like she forgot how to wrestle and cut good promos? Yes! Yes! Yes!
Bob Kapur has never twerked. Disappointed? Let him know at bobkapur@hotmail.com.