Site icon Slam Wrestling

Total Divas: Nikki and John Cena compete; Paige treats Nattie like a piece of meat; Eva’s got a broken teat

On tonight’s episode, Eva Marie tries to downplay her medical issues to her husband Jonathan’s dismay. Meanwhile, Paige rubs Nattie the wrong way – literally. And Nikki gets a chance to be like every guy in the WWE roster and job out to John Cena. Check out the full recap for all the details!

It’s RAW, and Brie is in a match against Summer Rae. The rest of the Divas watch backstage and are proud of the match going on, though they all hate Summer Rae – except Paige, who says that Summer was the only girl who treated her well when she joined the company.

John Cena and Nikki are working out, and he challenges her to a race. Apparently, they compete all the time, including a clip of her beating him at tic-tac-toe. And if he can lose at tic-tac-toe, then I can’t believe it but he may be the dumbest person on the show – and that’s saying a lot. They challenge each other to a series of challenges.

Eva Marie complains to Jonathan about her sore boob. They think it’s a leaky implant. Eva’s afraid to go into the doctor’s because she knows if that’s what it is, her career could be stalled.

Big Show apparently hangs out in the Divas’ locker room, and why wouldn’t he?

During a match, Paige sexes things up, rubbing up against Nattie and such. Backstage, Nattie confronts Paige, saying that she’s not comfortable with that kind of overt sexuality. Paige apologizes and promises not to do it again.

Eva Marie and Jonathan go to the doctor\s, and he says she should probably take out her implants, given the risks of silicone implants, and that she could be out of action for two to three months.

Over dinner, Nattie complains to some of the other Divas about Paige’s sexy in-ring antics. Paige shows up and flirts with the others, and then tells Nattie that they’re scheduled for a few more matches together.

Eva takes a call from the doctor who confirms that there is leakage and she has silicone in her bloodstream, so has to go for reparative surgery. She chooses to keep this to herself for the time being.

Backstage, Nikki tells the others about her and Cena’s upcoming competition. Nattie and Trinity doubt that she can win, which only fires up Nikki some more.

Eva Marie’s non-title win over AJ Lee is evidence of her upward career trajectory, which is why she doesn’t want to go for surgery.

Nikki and John head to the Go-Cart track for their first challenge. He crashes into her, sending her into a spinout, and wins. She protests the move, calling him a cheater.

Later, the battle moves to the mini-golf course, the batting cages, and then Skee-ball. With every win, Cena gets more and more douchey, mocking her and treating her like a joke. Nikki’s irritated that he keeps winning despite him not even taking the competition seriously. No doubt this will get the internet talking about why can’t he be a heel.

At home, Eva Marie lets Jonathan know that she cancelled her surgery. Jonathan is angry not only by the decision, but also because she never discussed the decision with him first. Seriously, he should just file the divorce papers and get it over with.

The final event is beer-pong, and Cena’s jackassery hits higher levels than ever, especially after a huge come-from-behind victory. Nikki responds by throwing a beer in his face and storming off.

Back at home, Cena asks Nikki if she’s okay. She’s ticked that he didn’t take the competition seriously, so he apologizes, not realizing that she was taking such goofy “sports” so seriously. They agree to not get so caught up on trying to prove who’s better than the other, and rather focus on just having fun together.

Eva Marie gets a call from WWE suit Mark Carrano who tells her that Jonathan called up the WWE offices, and she says she’s deal with him. At home, they argue about it. She takes the view that he should never have interfered with her job, and he says that he wouldn’t have had to if she’d told the company about her health issues like a smart person would do. Hmmm, maybe she’s the stupidest person on the show after all.

At dinner, Eva Marie tells the Bellas about her busted bust. They confirm what the doctor said, which is no doubt some major comfort to him, and say that she should focus on her health. Nikki uses her own past experiences as evidence that being away for health reasons doesn’t kill a career.

Backstage, Nattie tells Paige that she wants to have a straight match with no sexual overtones – kind of like her marriage to TJ. Paige agrees, but then during the match, she licks Nattie’s face like it’s an ice cream cone. Nattie is ticked.

Eva’s surgery went well, and at home, she lets Jonathan know that he was right and that she appreciates him looking out for her. She says that when she returns, her career’s going to be bigger and better than ever. Her boobs, though, maybe not so much.

Bob Kapur is awesome at beer pong. Challenge him to a match at bobkapur@hotmail.com.

Exit mobile version