On this week’s episode, Eva Marie and Jonathan’s relationship is in the spotlight as the two disagree over whether or not they want to start a family. Meanwhile, the Bella family drama continues as Nikki is still upset with Brie for interfering in her relationship with John Cena. But more importantly, Rosa wants to get naked! Check out the full recap for the bare facts about what happened this week.
The episode starts off with Paige slamming her body up against Big E’s and then fondling and slapping his chest. And I never wanted to be Big E until now.
Eva Marie goes to a fertility clinic since her now-husband Jonathan is interested in kids, and she’s not sure she fully works down there because of her heart-shaped uterus. Ariane joins her at the clinic because she apparently has nothing else to do in this episode. We see Eva Marie’s fillopian tubes but not in a good way.
Brie is happy that the twins are now getting merchandise, but during the presentation with the marketing folks, Nikki brings up her and Brie’s family squabble. They then meet Rev. Jesse Jackson and act nice to each other in front of him, but then argue afterwards about Nikki’s lack of professionalism.
Alicia Fox joins the cast and she’s introduced hanging out and acting crazy with Paige backstage. Apparently, she’s the fun, crazy girl. Those two fast friends are in the back watching Rosa and Natalya are in a match against Layla and Summer Rae. And crack up (pardon the pun) when Rosa gets pantsed during the match and the WWE Universe gets to see a full moon. Rosa’s worried that she could get canned (see what I did there?) for the wardrobe malfunction because they run a TV-PG product.
Over dinner, Eva Marie confides in Ariane that she doesn’t think she wants kids, which would be heartbreaking for Jonathan to hear. She says she’s afraid of being pregnant and gaining weight, especially during the early stages of her career. Ariane can’t believe that Eva hasn’t told Jonathan this yet.
Rosa and Alica are hanging out and Rosa is ass-tonished by the hype she’s been getting on social media after her butt flash. She suggests to Alicia that they stage another one, this time of her chesticular area, so that she can own the internet.
At TV, Naomi tells Alicia of a story where she ran into Vince McMahon while slumming it out in a onesie (Naomi, not Vince). And then has to witness backstage Bella bitchiness towards one another. Brie is worried that she and Nikki’s relationship is permanently damaged.
Backstage, Brie approaches John Cena and asks him to ask Nikki to forgive Brie. Cena tries to make Brie see things from Nikki’s perspective, but she can’t see him. He says to give Nikki some time to come around.
In the hotel room, Rosa and Alicia practice ways to “accidentally” expose Rosa’s boobs in a match, and I say that the first person who invents a TV that can de-pixellate censored shots could be an overnight kajillionaire. Sadly, they can’t figure out a way to do it in a convincing fashion, and they realize if they’re found out as having planned it, they could both be fired. Dang. If there’s a positive, it’s that Rosa feels like she has a true friend now in Alicia (she thinks that none of the other Divas don’t like her).
Eva Marie and Jonathan are making out and that gets him thinking about making babies. He says, not knowing about her anti-baby stance, that if her tests show she can’t have kids, then they can adopt. She doesn’t tell him because there’s still 25 minutes left to go.
Brie goes to visit her brother JJ and Mama Bella and she laments that Nikki is still mad at her. Brie tries to blame Mama Bella for this mess – and in a way she’s right, since Mama Bella could have chosen the pill and spared us all from this family drama nonsense – and then the three of them talk about splooge, and how insipid is this entire family? They call Nikki who says she wants her distance from JJ and Brie. Mama Bella tries to play mediator but Nikki won’t have it.
Eva Marie and Ariane head back to the fertility clinic to get her results. The doctor says that her plumbing issues can be pretty easily operated on, and that her eggs are all good to go. So that means she can’t use that as an excuse when she talks to Jonathan.
Backstage, WWE exec Mark Carrano pulls Rosa aside as he’s found out about her ill-fated plan to have another wardrobe malfunction – he’s not pleased, and wants to get to the bottom of things (heh heh… bottom). He suggests that she may have also planned the earlier incident and threatens to fire her on the spot. She comes clean and admits that she was planning on doing it again to increase her Twitter followers. He gives her some tough love and says not to screw up again. As upset as she is with the discussion, she’s more upset that Alicia threw her under the bus. It’s Fox season and she’s ready to hunt.
She finds Alicia and accuses her of stooging her out to Carrano. Alicia admits that she told some of the other girls about it, but denies telling him. Rosa believes her, since she believes all of the others want to see her get fired. Alicia apologizes for blabbing to the girls, and they’re besties again. Too bad Vince Russo weren’t writing for this show, because then after they make up, we would see a flashback where Alicia actually did tell Carrano about it in order to screw over Rosa but we’d never find out why.
At home, Nikki tells Cena that she’s planning on not attending a monthly Bella family reunion because she doesn’t want everyone to see the tension between her and Brie. Cena basically tells her to grow up and see her family anyway.
Over breakfast, Eva Marie lets Jonathan know that she is able to conceive, but she doesn’t want to have a kid. He thinks she means right away and is fine with that, but then she bursts his bubble and says she means forever. He’s not happy with this revelation, and feels betrayed that she never mentioned this in all the time they’ve been together and at any time in the past when he’s talked about having kids, which he apparently does all the time. He’s ticked about this bait-and-switch, marrying him even though she knew that she wanted the completely opposite of what he wants. He walks out of the room and heads to the gym to work out his anger rather than to deal with Liar McLiarson.
Nikki sucks it up and attends the family reunion with Cena. Brie is there as well (with Daniel Bryan, who’s wearing a wicked hipster hat), but Nikki snubs her. Brie approaches Nikki to make peace, but Nikki bitchily rejects the attempt. Brie apologizes over and over again, and the ice between them seems to thaw a little bit.
Eva Marie finds Jonathan working out at the gym and apologizes for not being up front with him about the kids issue. He says that if she’d told him from the beginning, he would have still married her, so there was really no point to his angry reaction after all was there? He says he resents her not being open with him, and that despite her fears of having kids now, he’s convinced that she’ll eventually catch the mommy bug and be an amazing mother. Yeah, I’m sure somebody said that about her wrestling too at some point, and look at how that worked out.
Bob Kapur is no hipster. E-mail him your ironically snarky comments at bobkapur@hotmail.com.