Another double-shot of episodes this week, and things are gearing up for next week’s third season finale. Nattie and TJ’s relationship continues its downward spiral, while on the opposite end of the spectrum, Eva and Jonathan couldn’t be more happy planning their upcoming wedding. Ariane and Vinnie go mansion shopping, but their expensive tastes would have Daniel Bryan screaming “No! No! No!” Which isn’t something Rosa’s hearing lately… from women, that is. Check out the full recap for all the details.
First Episode
The girls are backstage, talking about the recent robbery at Brie and Daniel Bryan’s place. Brie tells Nattie about Bryan chasing the perp and then clamping the Yes Lock on him.
Brie and Bryan get a call from WWE suit Mark Carrano, who tells them that they’ve been invited to walk the red carpet at the Teen Choice Awards. Brie believes she has to buy a new dress for the occasion, but cheapskate Bryan thinks she should wear something she already owns. Brie says that Bryan spends more on books than she does on clothes, so she feels justified to buy a new dress.
Eva Marie and Jonathan are packing for a move, apparently their sixth move since they’ve been together. They’re going to go on a road trip back to LA with Ariane and her dopey boyfriend Vinnie.
Rosa meets her new internet date, Chad, at a trampoline place. Now, I’m not one to judge, but this guy looks a little too comfortable jumping around on a trampoline to be interested in Rosa, if you get my drift. Still, any show that has a scene with Rosa jumping around on a trampoline can’t be all bad. After their trampolining, he mentions he’s a Christian, and wonders if that will be a problem. She says no, but has second thoughts when he says he wants to wait until marriage before getting it on.
Eva and Ariane go to pick up the trailer for the move, but Eva is a menace behind the wheel with this thing, running it over curbs and such. Ariane has what will undoubtedly be a spot-on prediction, saying this trip will be a disaster.
The Bellas and their brother JJ take their mom Kathy out for a 50th birthday celebration. Brie didn’t get her mom a present, so offers to pick up the tab. After dinner, Bryan calls her, saying that he got an alert from the bank due to the $400 restaurant tab, and that she should clear it with him if she’s going to spend so much money.
Backstage, Stephanie McMahon calls a meeting with all the Divas, and lets them know that during October, they will be partnering up with the Susan G. Komen Foundation for breast cancer awareness.
Summer Rae has invited Gary – the guy who Rosa had a date with on last week’s episode – to a show, noting that in her view, he and Rosa had no chemistry, so why shouldn’t she date him? Of course, Rosa walks up and sees them, and boy, is this awkward. Rosa is ticked. She confronts Summer about the situation, but Summer basically says too bad, so sad. Too bad JR weren’t around to call her a Jezebel. Rosa realizes that Summer is the beeyotch that all the other Divas told her she was.
The Bellas go for dinner, where Brie stooges on Bryan’s cheapness, telling them that he monitors her spending. All the girls back Brie on her view that she needs a new dress for the TCAs.
Jonathan is sucking the joy out of the road trip, as he’s set a rigid itinerary, which is already in jeopardy because Vinnie’s plane is delayed. Eva and Ariane make fun of him, and then start throwing things off the balcony to the U-Haul below, which seems like a stupid idea.
Brie finds a fancy dress for the TCAs, but to hide the cost from Bryan, she asks Nikki to put in on her credit card, and comes up with a cover story. Yeah, this is going to end well.
Vinnie’s flight lands, and the road trip is on. Even he’s baffled by Jonathan’s plan, including the daily 6am start time. Ariane is predictably annoying on the road, doing cheerleader routines or something. They stop at a tractor museum, which is apparently a thing. Jonathan wants to get moving, but the others are having fun – seriously, at a tractor museum?
Brie and Nikki go to a cafe, and again, Brie gets a call from Bryan, because he got an alert from the bank for a $22 charge for coffee. Nikki can’t believe that Bryan is so controlling over Brie’s spending.
Because of the tractor museum stop, the road trippers aren’t going to make it to the city where Jonathan booked the hotel, meaning they have to scramble to find new accommodations. The only place they can find has only one room.
Rosa is out on a date with yet another guy, some muscle-head named Nate. She’s crazy horny and is flirting up a storm, but he mentions that one of his turn-offs is girls that are too forward. Seriously? Rosa is feeling up your abs, and you’re turned off? Maybe she should introduce this fellow to the trampoline guy.
The road trippers get to their B&B really late at night, and start joking about how creepy it is, but it seems like a decent place, if a bit old. Honestly, the way they’re whining about it, you’d think it was the Bates Motel. Jonathan could have easily told those idiots that if they’d stick to the plan, they could be at a good hotel right about now, but instead he joins them in making fun of the place. Bunch of entitled jackasses.
Rosa is upset because no man seemingly wants her. Hey, Rosa, I’m available – my e-mail’s at the bottom of this report, so feel free to drop me a note. Nattie tries to boost her spirits, though with her marriage seemingly crumbling apart, maybe she’s not the best person to comment.
The next morning, Ariane and Vinnie want to chillax, but Jonathan wants to hit the road.
Brie shows Bryan the new dress, and tells him that she asked Nikki to get it for her. She tells him that she’s tired of him monitoring her spending, and that he should trust her. He still doesn’t understand why she feels she needs a new dress for this red carpet deal. Still, she shines on the red carpet and comes off looking really good. Bryan hates the experience, though, as that kind of thing isn’t his scene. But he does come to the realization that her looking good is important for her professional branding, and admits that he was wrong.
After a long day of driving, the trippers are browsing for knick-knacks at a truck stop gift shop, but Jonathan is cranky because their shopping is causing them to fall behind schedule even more. He starts whining about it, and Eva tells him to loosen up. He fights with Eva Marie, saying that she wants to do all the fun stuff and have him worry about the logistics, but then gets mad at him for trying to keep them focused.
To try to get forget her dating woes, Rosa takes Nattie to a lesbian bar to let off some steam and not have to worry about men for the night. Rosa meets some girl she knows and starts making out with her. Seriously, Rosa, e-mail me.
Back on the road, tensions are rising, with Eva and Jonathan sniping at each other for no reason, Ariane snapping at them for arguing, and Vinnie blasting her for interfering, leading to a huge argument between those two. Looks like Ariane’s “disaster” comment is coming to fruition after all.
The next morning, Eva and Jonathan agree that it would be best to mercy kill the road trip since it’s one giant fail. Ariane and Vinnie agree. They all apologize to each other for their respective arguments, and all is good again.
The next morning, Nattie questions Rosa about her behaviour from the night before – she stayed at the bar after Nattie left, and didn’t get back to the room until dawn. Nattie’s worried that Rosa may fall off the wagon. Rosa comes clean about her past, saying that she’s been with women before and that after having been hurt by guys in all her past relationships, she just wanted to kiss someone, and again I repeat, she should e-mail me. She says that she’s scared that being hurt by a man may cause her to relapse, and that it maybe easier for her to be with a girl right now. Nattie is supportive and says Rosa should do what makes her happy, and if it’s a girl, so be it.
Second Episode
Nattie and Rosa are either at the gym or a cupcake place – and whoever put them beside each other is a marketing genius – and Rosa has to do a 23-point turn to get out of the parking spot. The woman driver joke is too obvious here, so let’s just move on.
Eva Marie is with her family planning her and Jonathan’s wedding. Even though her dad is riddled with cancer, he’s still going to walk her down the aisle, and she’s happy about that.
At Nikki’s place, the Bellas are in bikinis and dear God almighty. They invite a couple of the others there, including Ariane, who has hired Nikki as her real estate agent. Nattie meanwhile admits that the present that Nikki got her, some suitcase, is now being used to house the ashes of a dead pet. Ariane has grand designs on a house, thinking that it should be similar to John Cena’s, and that’s a good one, seeing as there’s no way she and Vinnie are making that kind of bank.
Nattie and TJ head to a divorce attorney’s office, bickering with each other on the way in. The attorney runs down the financial scenarios for them, suggesting they figure out how to divide the assets as opposed to letting the courts decide. They really seem more worried about who will get the pets which to me is insane – take the money, you can buy more pets.
Later, Eva tells the girls how happy she is that her dad will be part of her wedding, and they’re supportive. That night, backstage – wow, a JoJo sighting! – the Bellas try to express their concern for Eva and her father, but Eva doesn’t want to talk about it – it’s like she’s in denial or something.
It’s RAW and the contract signing between Brie and Stephanie McMahon, and man, that was great.
Though they’re fighting, Nattie and TJ are still living together, and they start fighting over who’s going to get to keep the cats, and then over everything else, until Nattie breaks down in tears.
Nikki takes Ariane for some open houses, and the first place they roll up to is a huge mansion. The place is amazing, but the place costs nearly three million bucks, which has Ariane reeling. She tells Nikki to get a clue, this is way beyond her price range. Nikki says she’ll take her to some cheaper places, but Ariane has to realize it won’t have everything she’s looking for.
At home, Brie tells Bryan about Eva’s dad, and how she offered Eva a supportive shoulder and was rebuffed. Bryan understands, having gone through the loss of his father, and tells Brie to let Eva deal with it the way Eva wants to. Brie still wants to show her support for Eva, so says she’ll throw her a bridal shower.
Next stop on Ariane’s house hunting mission, and this place is not nearly as nice as the first place, but at only a cool mil and a half, it’s closer to Ariane’s price point. Ariane likes it but is afraid that Vinnie will balk at the price. Still, she makes a plan to come back with the big lug.
Nattie invites Trinity to her house, because she doesn’t want to be alone with TJ anymore. Nattie uses the opportunity to gripe about TJ before she drops the bomb to Trinity about her and TJ’s potential divorce. TJ shows up and the tension between the two is so thick it makes Trinity uncomfortable. Nattie loses it and throws TJ’s laundry onto the front lawn before locking herself in her room. Trinity then tries to find out from TJ what the heck is going on. He tries to explain his side of things, but Nattie tells him to skedaddle.
Ariane and Nikki bring Vinnie to the house and of course he makes a bunch of moronic comments, but ultimately decides that he loves it. Until, that is, he finds out the price of the place. He wants to have a reality check discussion with Ariane about it.
Eva picks up Jonathan, her fiancee, who’s joining her on the next tour. She comments about the Bellas reaching out to her, but she’s resentful of their treating her like her father was already dead. He thinks she should take a step back, that it’s possible Eva is losing perspective on the situation. She clearly doesn’t want to talk about it.
Ariane and Vinnie call up Nikki to go through the offer. Nikki suggests that they offer more than the house is listed for – worst real estate agent ever. Ariane suggest that Nikki cut her a break and only take half of her commission on the sale, but Nikki refuses. She takes a dig at Vinnie, questioning whether he has a good enough job, which ticks off Ariane enough that she and Vinnie leave. Nikki follows them to try to save the sale, but Ariane says she’d rather not lose a friendship over the deal and fires Nikki as her agent.
Because Jonathan is on the road with Eva, Brie figures she’ll get him to help plan the bridal shower for Eva. He tells the Bellas that he’s worried that Eva’s in denial about her father’s condition, as she shuts down any attempt to talk about it. Everyone is recruited into Operation Cheer Up Eva.
Backstage, Nikki runs into Ariane and wants to talk things over. Ariane reminds Nikki that if she weren’t leeching off of Cena, she wouldn’t ever be able to afford a three million dollar home, and Nikki realizes she blew it as a real estate agent. Still, the two make up and all is good.
Back at their home, Nattie and TJ are still fighting, so TJ gets the idea to pack up and leave – the logic being that if he’s not around, they won’t fight anymore. Surprisingly, Nattie’s okay with this plan, as she’s simply exhausted from all the arguments.
Eva’s surprise bridal shower is on, and even the presence of Summer doesn’t drag things down. Eva’s thrilled because her mom is there and because Jonathan gifts her with an even better engagement ring than before. Brie brings up Eva’s dad again, and Eva admits that she doesn’t know how to process everything that’s going on with him.
Eva then talks to her mom, asking to be kept informed about everything that’s going on with him. Her mom says she’s been keeping Eva somewhat sheltered from everything because she didn’t want to worry her, but agrees to keep Eva more informed in future. Eva calls her dad to check in and let him know that he can confide in her anytime he wants. He’s in good spirits and laughs like the Penguin.
Backstage, Nattie is surprised to see TJ hanging out. She blows up at him, saying she doesn’t need him coming there, making her upset, and embarassing her at work. They start arguing, with Nattie trying to get out her points, and TJ acting like a jackass. Nattie’s had it, and leaves in a huff, possibly for good.
Bob Kapur will be waiting patiently for his e-mail from Rosa at bobkapur@hotmail.com.
