A rare double-header of episodes this past Sunday, perhaps countering TNA Wrestling’s Pay-Per-View offering, perhaps as a Thanksgiving present for us Canadians, or perhaps for no reason whatsoever. Either way, an eventful couple of hours, with Nattie and TJ’s marital woes taking centre stage. Meanwhile, Nikki Bella finds dumb ways to argue with both her sister and John Cena. Also, Eva Marie celebrates while Rosa Mendez is celibate. Check out all the details for this and so much more!
First Episode
The Bellas are waiting at a restaurant for John Cena to arrive. They play a game of “who’s the stupider Bella?” and both win with their combined lack of knowledge of geography and anatomy. After Cena pulls up in a flashy sports car, he comments on Nikki’s boobs, tries to shame Brie for not drinking anymore, and makes fun of another restaurant patron – you know, all the things that babyfaces do.
Ariane returns from her stint in NXT where she went for remedial training, and says hello to seamstress Sandra.
Rosa and Summer Rae are at a photo shoot when Eva Marie shows up. Rosa feels like Eva and the other girls are Mean Girls-ing her, not inviting her to things and such.
Backstage, Ariane rejoins the rest of the girls and tells them about her time at NXT. After catching up with her, the girls turn their attention to Eva Marie’s bachelorette party. They’re all looking forward to it, especially Nattie, who has a lot of stress since she and TJ are taking a break from one another.
In Ottawa, Ariane has her return match against AJ Lee, and shows off some of her new moves.
Later, while driving around, the Bellas lament that neither of their men can attend Eva Marie’s party, even though all of the other guys will be there. They then talk about drinking toilet water or something.
Nattie and TJ meet up for lunch, and while Nattie is uspet about their situation, he comes across as completely clueless. She invites him to the party in an effort to reconnect, and he agrees.
Ugh – Vinnie appearance, when Ariane goes back to her apartment. Apparently, she’s become a hoarder and has stuff all over the place. Vinnie suggests they buy a house so she can have a place to store all her junk. He whines because immediately after coming home, she rushes out to leave to get her hair done. If I had to spend more than a minute talking with Vinnie, I’d make excuses too.
The cast hits Curacao, and it’s party time. Except that some of their luggage got lost, meaning we have to hear Vinnie talk about his “undies”, so I was wrong – he actually can get more annoying. Everyone figures they will drink, so we may get to see Brie go into “Brie mode”.
Nattie and TJ are in their room and hear the moans of passion coming from the room next to them. They decide to play along and start fake moaning even louder. Nattie suggests they go at it for real, but he doesn’t actually want to be heard, so turns her down.
The next day over breakfast, Nikki and Brie talk about sleeping naked, and we find out that Eva Marie and her fiance Jonathan were the ones gettin’ it on in the room beside Nattie and TJ. They think that Nattie and TJ were actually doing the deed, and she plays along, but he no-sells it. He mentions that he is going to take Nattie out for a little excursion that day, and she’s excited about the possibility that it’s romantic. Nattie gives gift bags to everyone, and all the guys get small booty shorts, so unfortunately this may result in being a sausage-fest of a show, which is the only thing that could make me hate it even more.
Meanwhile, Ariane and Eva Marie go cliff diving, and good God, them in swimsuits.
Elsewhere, Nikki wants to hit the town, but Brie is busy on her phone, online shopping for house stuff.
TJ and Nattie are out for their excursion, and it turns out being an animal sanctuary, complete with scary-looking angry and bitey ostriches. Nattie’s not happy, and TJ is disappointed that she’s not more into it.
The girls are sitting poolside and again with the bikinis and this show should win an Emmy. Ariane is having fun with the girls, leaving Vinnie sitting there alone – only Nikki seems to care about him, as she thinks Ariane could be taking him for granted, and that he’s too nice to say anything about it.
Nattie joins them and tells them about her “romantic” excursion with TJ, but doesn’t say how awful it was, because she doesn’t want them to think badly of her man. Meanwhile, Vinnie is an oaf and Ariane basically kicks him out of the talk circle.
That night at the group dinner, Jonathan and Eva Marie show up late because they wanted to get in some last minute ostrich watching – no, actually they wanted to have a pre-dinner quickie. Nikki points out the fact that Brie is wearing her dress since she didn’t get her luggage yet, and since she has smaller boobs, she had to stuff the front. Way to be a S.T.A.R., Nikki. Then she also sober-shames her again.
The next day, the Bellas head to the spa for a massage. Brie is still obsessing over her house decorations, but Nikki wants none of that discussion during spa time.
Later, everyone is wearing red wigs, Eva-style, to go out and party on a sunset cruise. Vinnie clumsily mentions that he wants to buy a house with Ariane, but she puts up the hand to that idea. She says she doesn’t want to rush into anything.
After the cruise, Vinnie is hurt that she seems to be getting more distant, and he tries to leave the party. He wants her to feel excited about their future, and isn’t feeling the love from her. She tells him she appreciates and loves him, and things seem to be settled.
It’s the final dinner of the trip, and over a toast, Ariane basically publicly apologizes to Vinne. She then asks Nikki to be her real estate agent, because she’s agreed to buy a house with Vinnie.
Nikki wants to celebrate with some wine, and get her sister into Brie mode, but Brie won’t have any of it. Nikki keeps pushing wine on Brie, and the two get into an argument right at the table.
On the bus to a nightclub, everyone tries to pressure Brie into drinking, but she won’t perform for them like a trained seal. They mock her for being a buzzkill and call her an old woman, so she leaves.
Afterwards, Eva Marie and Nattie are in the bathroom, and Nattie confides in Eva Marie about her marriage troubles with TJ, breaking down in tears.
The next day, Brie has it out with Nikki, telling her that she didn’t appreciate Nikki trying to force her into Brie mode. Nikki tries to deny it, saying she only wanted to have fun with her sister. Brie says she doesn’t want to drink so much anymore – that it’s no longer fun for her to do that. Nikki tries to twist her words around, saying that Brie can’t be happy trying to live her life to make Bryan happy, but Brie tells her that it’s not even about that – she just is a different person than before. Nikki isn’t happy because she feels like she’s losing her sister, but then shallowly forgets about things in order to try on clothes, because she’s Nikki.
Second Episode
The episode kicks off with Rosa and Nattie driving to a show, when Rosa’s suitcase starts buzzing. Yes, it’s exactly what you’re thinking it is.
It’s the night of the premiere of the movie that the Bellas appeared in, and Nikki and John Cena hit the red carpet (insert Eva Marie joke here). Nikki is thrilled to be there, and wants to be in more movies. They don’t show enough clips of the movie to tell if she should be or not. I’m guessing not, though.
At a hotel, Rosa and Nattie are heading out for a drive, but Nattie’s embarassed because of Rosa’s revealing wardrobe. Nattie says she doesn’t need to see all of Rosa’s anatomy, and I’m like shut up, Nattie. As they’re driving, a bunch of fire trucks drive by. Rosa is all horned up by the thought of being with a fireman, and she says she’s on the prowl for a man. But as randy as she is, she also wants to wait, because she’s afraid if she gets too close to someone, she may fall off the wagon (she’s a recovering alcoholic). Nattie thinks Rosa has set her expectations too high.
Nikki and Cena go out for dinner to celebrate her movie debut, and it’s noted that she now joins him as a movie star, since he’s also booked a few more movies. The talk soon turns to whether Nikki would ever do a nude scene in a movie, and she says no.
Nattie joins Trinity for lunch to catch up, and Nattie shares the fact that she and TJ are still having troubles. Trinity suggests that Nattie and TJ go to marriage counselling since that’s a good way to get a third party perspective of the underying issues.
Cena tells Nikki about the part he has in an upcoming movie, and it turns out that he has a sex scene in it – which is possibly why he brought up the subject over dinner the other night, in order to gauge her reaction to this news. She’s of the view that You Can’t See Wee-wee, because only she should be able to. It turns out it’s only his butt, but she’s still not happy, in part because he knew about it a month ago and never mentioned it until now. She says that she feels like he’s putting the sex scene over their relationship, and he finally comes to his senses and says that maybe he’s not with the right woman. But of course you know that by the end of the hour, all will be forgiven because of course it will. She says that her jealousy only proves that she loves him, and he says it actually proves that she’s crazy. He says that this is a professional production, not a porno, and that there will be lighting people and make-up people, but – and I’m not saying that I’m an expert in these matters – but I would think pornos have those types of things as well. He says she’s just being insecure, and asks her what she would say if he asked her not to do something.
But it all comes out that she’s only upset because she wants to play a bigger part in his life – that of an equal partner with whom they discuss things like this before making a decision. He says that she plays a big enough role in his life, and that if she doesn’t realize that, then their relationship is pretty much a sham anyway.
After a show, Rosa tells Nattie that she’s going out on a date with some Cleveland Browns player. She meets up with Gary Barnridge at a cafe for lunch. They seem to get along, and there’s some flirting going on between the two of them.
Mamma Kathy and Brother JJ Bella join Brie at Nikki’s place, because she wants company while Cena is off filming his movie. Kathy and JJ don’t see what Nikki’s problem is, noting that she had to kiss other guys in WWE for storyline purposes. None of them want her to make a big deal of it and jeopardize her relationship over this.
Nattie and TJ go to counselling. Nattie says that she feels distant from TJ because they don’t get to see each other much due to their work schedules. He says when they are together, she’s too focused on work. He says he doesn’t mind being off the road, even though she thinks that he deserves it. But he finally sees and understands what she’s feelings. To try to get him back on TV, and hence the road, Nattie takes TJ to the NXT developmental centre to talk with the producers there to try to work on a new character for him.
It’s the episode of RAW where the match between Brie and Stephanie McMahon is set up. Seriously, what a great angle.
Rosa brings Gary backstage at the show and introduces her to her fellow Divas, including Summer Rae who starts to put the moves on him when Rosa gets called away. They actually show clips of Summer Rae playing in the LFL, which apparently is the Legends Football League, which is like the football equivalent of foxy boxing based on the clips they show.
After the show, the girls go out, and Nikki asks the girls if they’d be okay with their men doing a sex scene; of course, Nattie is the one that has the issue with it. They debate whether or not being in a sex scene requires full emotional and physical commitment or if it’s just acting. Nikki seems even more troubled by the thought after the conversation.
At the performance centre, Rosa and Summer work out (yay for yoga pants). Rosa mentions that she’s going to be going on a second date with Gary, but she doesn’t like that he’s playing hard to get, taking 30 minutes to respond to a text. Or, you know, maybe he’s busy not waiting around all day to get a text? Sheesh. Rosa says that she wants Gary to fall in love with her, and Summer Rae thinks she’s nuts.
At catering, Brie is still obsessing over Cena’s sex scene. She says she can’t think of nothing else, but it bothers her to no end. Brie suggests it’s because Nikki was cheated on in the past, and she needs to deal with her trust issues. Nikki sees that there may be some truth to this.
At home, Nattie tells TJ that she’s booked them for another appointment with the counsellour, but he says he doesn’t see the need or value in doing so. She starts crying and implores him to go, but he flat out refuses, denying there is any problem.
Rosa meets Gary for their second date, and after it comes out that he doesn’t drink, she shares the story of her rehab stint, telling him she hasn’t dated a lot since. She’s relieved that he knows, because it gives him a chance to know the real Rosa. She then tells him about her rules about getting intimate – that she will only do it with someone she’s totally in love with, and has no desire for something casual, and Gary seems to be thinking to himself, boy, what a waste of texts. He says that she may be putting too many guidelines in place to be in the dating world, and methinks that’s the last we’re going to see of Gary.
At an event in New York, Nattie meets up with Darren Young and invites him to join her for dinner. Nattie tells a paparazzo that TJ is at home, but that they’re not divorced yet. Over dinner, she tells Darren that TJ resents her being so public with their relationship woes – gee, you think?
Cena’s back after his filming, and he and Nikki go out for brunch. Nikki explains that she was jealous because of her trust issues stemming from bad relationships and her father leaving the family when she was a teenager. He says he understands, and apologizes for not telling her as soon as he knew. She says that if he wants to be with her, he’s got to tell her about things like this.
Summer Rae is driving around and answers a text – hey, Summer Rae, it can wait. She pulls up to a restaurant where… what the deuce? She’s on a date with Gary! What a hussy.
Nattie goes back home a day later than she had planned after having spent an extra night in New York – something that she hadn’t told TJ she was going to do. TJ says that he saw tweets about her divorce comment that she’d made, and confronts her about it. She dismisses it as a joke, but he presses the point. He asks her point blank if she wants a divorce, and if that’s what it will take to make her happy. She can’t answer, and tearfully heads to the bedroom alone.
Bob Kapur was in Las Vegas this past weekend. Even though he won at the tables, coming back to have to watch two hours of this show makes him feel like he lost. E-mail him your Vegas stories at bobkapur@hotmail.com.