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Total Divas: Brie believes borrowing best way to buy B&B; Bryan bitter

Universally, there are fundamental things that people fight about. Money. Religion. And being a no-good dirty skank. On this week’s episode, the Divas hit all three. Check out the full recap for all the juicy details!

The show starts off with clips from Payback where Stephanie McMahon calls out Daniel Bryan, making him decide between surrendering his title or having Brie be fired. The other Divas congratulate Brie for the successful promo (this is the one where she slapped the pee out of Stephanie literally).

Brie and Daniel go for bunch with Mama Bella who gives them a financial planning book. Brie notes that she and Bryan have never thought of what would happen if their WWE jobs came to an end. Mama Bella, who owns an HR firm, offers them the chance to practice interviewing. Bryan talks about wearing tie-dye but then says people would think he’s a drug dealer – so I’m not sure if I should sue him for gimmick infringement or defamation of character.

Backstage at a show, the Divas watch an Adam Rose match, and to their chagrin – especially Natttie’s – Summer Rae has returned to the company after having filmed the new Marine movie.

Daniel and Brie are dressing up for a mock job interview, and they both come across like stupid bumpkins, especially Bryan who touts his “Yes” chant as being a huge professional accomplishment. The recruiter has some #RealTalk for them, and they realize that their WWE skills aren’t really transferable to non-WWE jobs.

Nattie and Rosa are working out, and Summer joins them, irking Nattie to no end. Nattie cattily dismisses Summer’s movie gig and takes digs at her former dancing character, noting that Layla has legitimate dancing ability while Summer doesn’t. As rude as Nattie is, Summer doesn’t seem to care, saying effectively that Nattie is beneath her. Rosa asks Nattie why she’s being such a beeyotch to Summer, and Nattie apparently thinks she’s in high school again, saying that Summer is only befriending Rosa to steal Nattie’s BFF. Honestly, Nattie, stop trying to make “fetch” a thing.

Daniel is at home researching possible careers, including running a B&B. The problem is that they don’t have the $800,000 to buy the necessary property. Seriously? Does WWE really pay people that little? I mean, he main-evented WrestleMania. And it’s not like she doesn’t work. Between the two of them, they can’t afford this, not even financed? Sad.

Eva Marie and her fiancee Jonathan heading to Eva Marie’s parents place for a July 4th family BBQ. Jonathan still won’t convert so that Eva Marie can please her family and have a Catholic wedding, but they agree to try to avoid this topic if it comes up.

Brie and Daniel go to visit a B&B that’s for sale in Flagstaff. They say that since neither of them are working, and because they just bought a house, they can’t afford it. And Bryan doesn’t want to take a loan and carry any debt. Where’s the Million Dollar Man when you need him?

It’s Eva Marie’s family BBQ, and of course the question of their wedding comes up. Eva Marie’s clod of a brother asks Jonathan point blank if he’s going to convert, but Eva Marie sloughs off the topic. Later, her dad presses the point even further. He puts her on the spot, and because he’s sick and she doesn’t want to upset him, she says she wants a Catholic wedding. Her dad figures that seals the deal, but Jonathan finally stands up for his own principles and tells Eva he’s not down with that, before walking away from the party. Eva Marie chases after him, but he lets her know he’s tired of playing second fiddle to her family.

Brie invites Nikki out for drinks, but it’s really only in order to ask Nikki for a loan so that she can make a down payment. Nikki thinks John Cena may be okay with lending them some cash – but the episode is only half done, so that likely means he won’t be.

Back at the BBQ, Eva Marie tells her dad to back off on the whole Catholic wedding thing, since she doesn’t want to force Jonathan into doing anything he doesn’t want to do. Her dad says, in the creepiest way imaginable – that if she’s happy, he’s happy. Later, she tells Jonathan what happened, and he’s appreciative that she finally took a stance against her dad.

Nikki and John Cena are out for lunch where she’s going to ask him to loan Brie and Daniel some money. She lets him know that she’s told Brie that he would lend them the money. And he angrily hits her with the Attitude Adjustment. Actually, he just says “No”, but my way would be a lot more dramatic.

He’s pretty frank and says firmly that he won’t throw money away on an unproven start-up, and that he’s lost too much on lending money to his friends and relatives with similar pie-in-the-sky ideas. She gets it, and apologizes for presumptively telling Brie that he would agree to it.

The next day, Daniel approaches Brie in the kitchen and asks her if she asked John for a loan, which she denies. Apparently John talked with him about it, and Bryan is irked that Brie would do such a thing. He snaps and puts her in the Yes Lock. Actually, he just walks away in anger, buy my way would be a lot more dramatic.

After a show, Rosa invites Summer Rae into her rental car, which she’s splitting with Nattie. Rosa has the bright idea that putting the two sworn enemies in the same car will give them the chance to bond. And with that, Rosa’s Mensa membership application just hit the shredder.

The tension is pretty thick in the car, with Nattie and Summer Rae throwing verbal daggers at one another, while Rosa tries to awkwardly play peacemaker. Summer suggests Nattie’s anger may be resulting in marital problems, and Nattie loses it. She pulls over the car, and throws Summer’s stuff out of the trunk, then physically hauls her out of the back seat. They start to throw down in the middle of the highway (and why couldn’t they edit in Joey Styles screaming “CATFIGHT!”), while Rosa tries to get in the middle of them to calm things down. Rosa plays the “just got out of rehab” card, asking them to both get back in the car, and sit in silence for the rest of the drive, lest she has a complete breakdown.

The next day, Nattie talks to Rosa backstage and asks her why she would invite Nattie’s enemy to ride with them. Rosa explains that she only had good intentions, but agrees that she will not do that kind of thing again without talking to Nattie first. They hug it out and all is good.

At an autograph signing, there’s tension between the Bellas and they make snide comments to one another. Nikki has pretty much washed her hands of Brie’s money problems and blames Brie for making Daniel mad for asking Cena for a loan. Nikki lectures Brie about the need to discuss financial decisions with her husband, which is easy to say when you’ve hooked up with a gazillionaire. Nikki suggests Brie considers taking a real estate course like she has, so they can both be ready for post-WWE life.

Back at home, Brie apologizes to Daniel for going to Cena for money behind his back. Bryan forgives her, because the episode is coming to an end.

Bob Kapur is late with this report, but it was worth it to see a rare Lions victory over the Packers… man, he can’t stand them. E-mail him your Week 4 picks at bobkapur@hotmail.com.

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