Thanks to Seth Rollins, Brock Lesnar is still WWE World Heavyweight Champion.
The news coming out of the Night of Champions pay-per-view is really no surprise to anyone who has caught wind of the WWE’s upcoming house shows. With most headlined by a Cena versus Rollins feud, many expected some kind of connection to be made between the two especially when there was nothing leading up to Night to bring them together. That one connection was The Beast.
At SummerSlam, Cena got the beating of his career as Lesnar bounced him around like a ping pong ball. While Cena did mount more of an offence this time around, he did spend the majority of the match just as he did last time, laying on the mat and staring up at the ceiling.
Cena has success laying haymakers into Lesnar but as soon as he tried any kind of wrestling maneuver, Lesnar quickly countered over and over again; putting Cena flat on his back.
A couple of those shots or perhaps an elbow, bloodied The Beast’s nose but it did very little to stop the assault of suplexes, shoulder tackles and submission moves. Irritated by Cena’s determination, Lesnar took his gloves off and went bare knuckle. Cena broke the Kimura Lock and countered with his own STF. Lesnar crawled to the ropes refusing to tap out only to have Cena drag him back to the centre of the ring time and time again.
Hitting Lesnar with his fourth Attitude Adjustment, Cena was blindsided by Rollins who ran into the ring and bashed him in the head with the Money in the Bank briefcase. The ref called for the bell and the disqualification. Rollins hauled back and clobbered Cena again knocking him right out of the ring.
After executing a Curb Stomp to Lesnar, Rollins handed the briefcase in proclaiming: “I’m cashing it in!” Before the bell could ring though to start the match, Cena attacked Rollins causing him to flee from ringside. Since the bell never rang, it was ruled Rollins didn’t really cash in his opportunity.
As an enraged and bewildered Cena watched Rollins scramble up the entrance ramp, Lesnar grabbed him from behind and delivered a nasty F5 to close out the show. A show that didn’t offer anything new or different from the WWE who have been going round in circles so much lately the creative staff must all be as cross-eyed as Bushwhacker Luke by now. Better supplement those eye care plans, like yesterday, folks.
With the WWE spending more time, effort on making sure the announcers continuously plug one item after another than on the storylines that attract viewers in the first place, the event was nothing more than one recycled idea after another. A second-hand main event match. Another uninspired Rollins, Ambrose brawl over a match that never took place. More Miz, Ziggler comedy. More AJ and Paige. More Rusev crushing someone. All of these things and more wouldn’t be so bad if we didn’t see them over and over again every week on Raw and Smackdown.
When your best match is the one you barely stitched together as a throwaway bout just in time for the show (Orton versus Jericho), you know your well is not only dry, there are cacti growing, Bedouin erecting tents and two droids crash-landing there in an escape pod.
WWE Night of Champions (Bridgestone Arena, Nashville, Tennessee) Results
The Usos (champions) Versus Goldust, Stardust (Challengers) – WWE World Tag Team Title Match
- Goldust is “Oldust”? Funny that. JBL keeps talking about the champions in the past tense. Does he know something we don’t? The fight goes to the floor with Goldust powerslamming Jimmy Uso onto the concrete floor. The Dusts dominate the match with some of the fans chanting “Cosmic Key!, “Cosmic Key!”. Hot tag to Jey who works over Stardust’s knee, including wrapping it around a steel post. Stardust ties Jey Uso in the ropes and lays a shellacking on him. An Uso gets a set of knees in the gut after a leap from the top rope and is pinned by Stardust.
- Winners: …and new WWE World Tag Team Champions…Goldust and Stardust at 12 minutes and 49 seconds.
- Match Rating: 7 / 10
- Dolph and R Truth cut a promo with the sponsor’s beverage in hand saying Miz won’t be working in this town again, if they have their way.
- In a confounding statement, the announcers actually trash talk those fans who are watching the broadcast on PPV and ridicule them for how much they paid as compared to those who subscribe to the WWE Network. Yeah, insult your own fans. Unbelievable.
Sheamus (champion) versus Cesaro (challenger)- WWE U.S. Heavyweight Title Match
- Lots of boots, fists, knees and forearm smashes to the face. A big uppercut from Cesaro knocks Sheamus off the top rope to the floor. The announcers are one-sided talking up Cesaro, calling him the Swiss Superman and ignoring Sheamus, just like the WWE bookers over the last year. Much talk of Harley Race being one of the greatest U.S. champions. Cesaro beats on Sheamus in the corner. Sheamus throws him off and dares him to pound on him some more. The ref pulls Cesaro of Sheamus and out of the corner. Sneaky Brogue Kick. Cesaro is in dreamland.
- Winner: …and still WWE U.S Champion…Sheamus at 13 minutes and 03 seconds.
- Match Rating: 7 / 10
- Big Show pumps up Mark Henry in the dressing room. “I won’t let this whole country down,” swears Henry. Big Show tells Henry he has every American in his corner tonight. “You are representing America! You will not fail,” snarls Big Show.
The Miz (challenger) Versus Dolph Ziggler (champion) – WWE Intercontinental Title Match
- Some country group I don’t listen to (Florida Georgia Line?) are dressed like skater kids and join the announce team. They will be performing at Tribute to the Troops later this year.
- The announcers spent more time conversing with Florida Georgia Line and shilling their album than calling the actual match. The bout is pretty much ignored. Sandow pesters Florida Georgia Line. They knock him on his butt with R-Truth’s help. How embarrassing.
- Sandow punches Ziggler from outside the ring, The Miz rolls up Ziggler with a handful of trunks for the dastardly win.
- Winner: …and new WWE Intercontinental Champion…The Miz at 9 minutes and 20 seconds.
- Match Rating: 5 / 10.
- Coverage of Roman Reigns surgery. The announcers predict he will be out for “several months”.
Seth Rollins versus Roman Reigns
- Rollins shares his thoughts. ”One minute you are on top of the world, the next, you are Roman Reigns,” he laughs. “Emergency surgery is no excuse for not showing up tonight.” A generous Rollins gives Reigns a ten count to make it to the ring or he will accept the forfeit. The ten count is laid out and Rollins is declared the winner. Rollins demands his hand be raised…to make it official, you know. Rollins understands the fan’s disappointment. Rollins announces an open challenge to anyone in the locker room. Some fans start chanting JBL! JBL!
- Dean Ambrose laughably arrives in a taxi backstage and runs to the ring. Another predictable, recycled and monotonous Rollins, Ambrose brawl around the arena. “Ambrose didn’t even pay his cab fare,” jokes JBL. The Authority and security break things up, well, they try. Back in the ring, Ambrose is taken down by security after he comes into possession of a steel chair. Ambrose is “arrested”…yet again.
- Haven’t we seen this all before? Is this the best the bookers could come up with to fill the time? How lazy can you get?
- Winner: Seth Rollins via forfeit.
- Match Rating: 0 / 10.
- Off to the kick off panel, which nobody ever cares about. Why do they bother with this time-wasting fluff?
Mark Henry versus Rusev
- Much is made of Mark Henry having the entire country on his shoulders. Things go so over the top with this one they get Lillian Garcia to sing the entire U.S. national anthem. Mark Henry cries tears of pride? Honestly? This has more cheese than my grandmother’s lasagna. Rusev, arrives to put an end to this laughable schlock.
- Henry dominates the start, shutting down any offence from Rusev until he slams Henry spine-first into the steel ring post. That one move changes everything. Rusev takes over laying a beating on Henry. JBL calls this the match of Mark Henry’s career. I guess those World Heavyweight Title matches don’t count, eh? Henry sells the back injury as he tries to slam Rusev and collapses. “This is not looking good for America,” whines JBL. Henry fights his way out of The Accolade and hits the World’s Strongest Slam but cannot cover Rusev due to the injury. Rusev rolls out of the ring to the floor, gets up and kicks Henry right in the chops. Running kick inside the ring, Accolade. Rusev crush! Henry rolls around outside the ring. “Who will stop Rusev,” asks Cole.
- Winner: Rusev at 8 minutes and 17 seconds.
- Match Rating: 3 / 10.
Chris Jericho versus Randy Orton
- Cole babbles: ”It is almost WrestleMania season.” What? Yeah, it is almost New Year’s too. What is up with these announcers? Is it too late to hire back Jim Ross or Joey Styles?
- Fantastic match by two veterans but without much at stake and no real backstory, the bout is kinda hollow unless the WWE goes places with this. They should based on the performances and crowd reaction. Jericho takes some hard bumps and spends a lot of time on the floor. Randy slams Jericho’s back onto the announce table. WWE Network, sponsorship beverage hype. Y2J leaps off the top rope and Randy catches him with a RKO.
- Winner: Randy Orton at 16 minutes and 23 seconds.
- Match Rating: 8 / 10.
- Brie Bella gives her thoughts on the Divas match. Brie claims she won’t exact revenge on her sister but she is happy to watch Paige and AJ kick the crap out of her.
- The announcers once again rip into any fan who is watching on pay-per-view and not the WWE Network.
Paige (champion) versus AJ (challenger) versus Niki Bella (challenger) – WWE Divas Championship match.
- Is it a prerequisite now that all Divas must wrestle in bikinis? Typical WWE triple threat with the combatants taking turns resting on the floor while the other two battle in the ring. A very disjointed match with too many fits and starts. As Paige prepares to suplex AJ from the top rope, we hear Paige ask AJ if she is “ready”. Yikes. AJ slams Nikki off the apron and then puts on the Black Widow – the submission move anyone, even your grandmother, would have no trouble escaping – on Paige for the win.
- Winner: … and new Divas Champion…AJ at 8 minutes and 42 seconds.
- Match Rating: 3 / 10
Brock Lesnar (champion) versus John Cena (challenger) – WWE World Heavyweight Title
- Winner: …and still WWE World Heavyweight Champion…Brock Lesnar…at 18 minutes and 21 seconds….
- Match Rating: 5 / 10.
- Total Event Time: 2 hours and 45 minutes.
- Overall Event Rating: 4 / 10
