On tonight’s episode, the friendship between Trinity and Ariane is about as fragile as Daniel Bryan’s neck. Meanwhile, since John Cena basically said “you can’t see me” as a father to Nikki’s children, she’s figuring out a Plan B (that’s “B” for “baby”). Is that best for business? Find out by reading the full recap below!

John Cena found some hypodermic needles in the house, and thought that Nikki was doing drugs, so confronted her about them. She admitted that she had them because she was taking hormones to help preserve her eggs in case she wanted to have kids some day. He seemed disappointed that she would try to hide this from him.

Meanwhile, Brie Bella and Daniel Bryan are packing, because they bought a new house. Brie lets it slip that she wants to have kids before she turns 35. They both say “vagina” a lot because, well, this show.

Nikki, Natalya, and Eva Marie go out to a restaurant. Nikki tells them that John busted her over the egg-freezing thing. Eva Marie tells them that she’s trying to get her fiancee Johnathan to convert religion before their wedding.

Backstage at a show, Rosa Mendez asks Sandra, the WWE seamstress, to go wild in creating her a new outfit. There’s a Santino sighting, but more importantly, Rosa has new butt-hugging jeans, and that’s far more important. Elsewhere, Daniel and Brie arrive backstage, and Brie starts to worry because Bryan’s shoulder is hurting him.

Mark, the WWE Executive, brings the Funkadactyls into his office where he tells them that Trinity will be given a singles run, while Ariane will be her valet. He tells Ariane not to be offended, but Trinity is simply a step ahead of her talent-wise. Trinity tries to suggest this could lead to bigger things for both of them, but Ariane is clearly upset by this development. She lets Nattie and Eva Marie know what happened, and Nattie gives her the most morale-breaking pep talk ever, ending with “this isn’t for everyone.” In Adam Rose parlance, Nattie is a lemon.

Brie and Bryan are driving to their new house, and it’s literally got a white picket fence. They go inside, and after professing how much she loves it, Brie has a list of changes that she wants. Daniel risks being murdered by telling Brie she is reminding him of Nikki with her demanding ways, and Brie freezes him out. He then makes it worse by bringing up her Bridezilla wedding demands, and Brie angrily leaves the room.

She listens to none of this, of course, and the next scene finds her and Nikki at some expensive furniture store. Nikki actually sides with Daniel, telling Brie that she needs to work with Bryan on a budget for the house. But a second later, she gets mad when Brie tells her what Bryan said about Brie reminding him of Nikki, and I don’t know how Cena puts up with her psycho mood swings.

Nikki and Cena go for some lunch, and in a laugh-out-loud segment, he asks her what it feels like to inject herself with a needle, since he’s apparently never done steroids, or since the wellness policy came into effect, been a diabetic. He feels scared that he may lose her some day, since she is planning on having kids in the future, even after he’s made it known that he doesn’t want any. She offers to stop the process if he wants her to.

Ariane, with her ass-hat of a boyfriend Vinnie, heads to the recording studio to record a song. Ariane breaks down about her work demotion, and as the music guys look on, it seems like a major waste of studio time. She feels like because she was called up from developmental way too early, that now she’s getting penalized for it.

The Bellas are at a cafe, and Nikki tells Brie she’s giving up the hormone treatments, because of how John feels. Brie takes a shot at him, saying he’s selfishly manipulating Nikki into giving up something she wants because he doesn’t want the same thing. Brie throws the whole “compromise” argument back in Nikki’s face, telling her sister that she’s making a big mistake. They argue for a bit, then realize it’s only because they love each other, and then go for a drink, like a couple of Irishmen.

Trinity and Jimmy Uso are out for a drink, and Jimmy tells her that she should be grateful to get a chance to wrestle singles, and that’s her path to a championship.

Brie goes back home where Bryan hasn’t been doing any packing because he found out that he will have to go for emergency neck surgery.

The Bellas go to visit some cousins, and Nikki is having fun playing with her nieces and nephews. Nikki’s rapport with the kids has her wondering if aunt-hood is all she will ever have.

It’s Raw, and Brie lets the other girls know that Bryan has to go for surgery, but she can’t go with him, because she has to be in another city that night for another commitment.

Two days later, and Brie is in her hotel talking to Bryan who is waiting for surgery. She realizes that all of the material things she’s been pushing for in the house don’t matter when her husband is going under the knife imminently.

When she gets home, he tells her that he’s feeling better, and has got his strength back, but he prepares her for the possibility that he may have to forfeit the titles. She then agrees to compromise on the whole house thing.

Nikki and John are working out, and they say “ovaries” because, well, this show. Nikki lets him know that she has decided to go ahead with the egg-freezing. He’s disappointed with the decision.

At Raw, Ariane takes on her new role as Trinity’s valet during her match with Paige. Though she puts on a brave face publicly, Ariane is clearly unhappy in the supporting role.

The WWE Trainer talks to Bryan and delivers the bad news that his recovery is going to take much longer than expected. Brie’s worried that, since if he’s off the road, he’ll take a hit in his pay, and their plans to fix up the new house will be jeopardized.

Ariane talks to the WWE executive, and lets him know that her new role doesn’t jive with her. She suggests she should go back down to NXT to train, in order to get good enough that she can come back as a star. He drops the reality bomb that if she does go back, there is a possibility that she may never get called back up to the main roster again. She says she’s willing to take the risk, and that she’s committed to improving and ultimately coming back. She then goes and tells Trinity and Jimmy Uso of the decision. Trinity, concerned, asks to talk to her privately.

Trinity is ticked that Ariane would make this decision without talking to her first, since it effectively means that their team will split up permanently. Trinity says Ariane is being selfish, leaving her just as good things are happening. Trinity effectively tells her to get the F out. Ariane is angry, since she feels she’s risking her entire career and her supposed partner and friend isn’t supporting her. Personally, I think they both make good points, but am leaning more towards Ariane’s side, but frankly am more worried that we’re not going to see Rosa Mendez in booty shorts again this episode.

Back at Nikki’s place, she tries to solicit Cena’s help in her upcoming series of egg-freezing treatments. Naturally, he agrees, because he’s 100% babyface. The show ends after Nikki talks about her vagina some more because, well, you know.

Bob Kapur has never worn booty shorts. Let him know how much this disappoints you at bobkapur@hotmail.com.