Survivor Series ends with an Edge

It may have been the twentieth anniversary of Survivor Series, but it was also the tenth anniversary of you-know-what. Vince won’t let fans forget, but the fans also don’t seem ready to let it go, so Sunday night felt ripe for some shenanigans.

The 21st show took place from Miami, Florida, and with Shawn Michaels in the RAW main event it was fortunate the setting was a long way from Canada. Still, odds were good that there would be a heavy Canadian influence, what with Edge featured prominently in advertising and Chris Jericho supposedly right around the corner.

Surprisingly, Smackdown was the featured the main event, as Batista took on The Undertaker in Hell in a Cell. Batista took control early with a clothesline, but Undertaker responded with a clothesline of his own.

Undertaker broke out the right hands, then hit snake eyes and a big boot. Undertaker went for the chair, but Batista avoided the shot and countered with a spear.

Taker took the fight to the floor, smashing Batista off the steel steps, and raking him across the cage. Undertaker dropped a leg on Batista’s throat, then smashed a chair into the Adam’s apple. A series of chair shots followed.

Undertaker took Batista for an Old School rope walk, but Batista caught the Dead Man, driving him into the mat. Batista then took his turn and smashed Undertaker into the steps. Batista followed with a clothesline, but Undertaker recovered and whipped the champ into the steps. Batista was then thrown head-first into the cage and tattooed with yet another chair shot.

Back in the ring, Batista cut off Undertaker on the top turnbuckle and connected with a superplex. Undertaker locked in a triangle choke as Batista went for a pin. The champ made it to the ropes to break the hold.

Batista blocked a shot from the steps and grabbed them to use on his foe. Four shots opened up a cut in the challenger’s head, and both men crawled back into the ring. Batista mounted Undertaker for punches, but the challenger countered with the Last Ride.

The Undertaker stalked Batista and choke slammed him to mat. Batista floated over a Tombstone attempt to hit a Batista Bomb. The champ grabbed a table from under the ring and set it up on the inside. Batista set up the Batista Bomb and connected through the table. That still wasn’t enough, as The Undertaker kicked out.

Searching for another way to end the match, the champ set the stairs up in the ring. Undertaker countered a Batista bomb with a back body drop. The Phenom then connected with a Tombstone, but the champ kicked out. Another Tombstone followed, but as Undertaker went for the cover, a cameraman pulled him from the ring.

In reality it was the returning Edge in disguise, and he quickly nailed the Dead Man with a one-man Con-Chair-To. Edge pulled Batista onto ‘Taker, allowing the ref to make the count. The champ retained his title, but it’s almost an absolute certainty that Edge won’t let him forget who helped him keep it.

The next WWE pay-per-view is Armageddon on December 16th.

If you’ve been with us for the past few years, you know the drill by now. Nick’s comments will be in plain type with Dale’s remarks in italics.

CM Punk (champion) vs. John Morrison (challenger) vs. The Miz (challenger) — ECW Triple Threat Championship Match

Punk fires out like a cannon with some hard-hitting moves, but the match soon settles into the time-honored pattern of all Triple Threat matches: almost all of the time, one of the three competitors is out on the floor. Tag team champions Miz and Morrison cooperate a little toward the beginning, but it doesn’t last long. Some of the cooler spots include Morrison hitting a split-legged corkscrew moonsault on The Miz and Punk setting Morrison on the top rope, then hitting a hurracanrana that The Miz catches into a power bomb. The end comes when Punk is fighting with Morrison along the ropes. Miz rushes over and accidentally knocks Morrison to the floor, then gets caught with the Go to Sleep. Punk covers and retains his title.

Winner . . . and still ECW Champion . . . CM Punk at 9 minutes and 48 seconds.

Match Rating: 7/10

I have no idea who is interviewing MVP right now. Porter runs down Matt Hardy, saying Jeff has carried him. He says he is better than anyone in the arena.

He does have some good lines in his little promo though, bragging that Matt can only walk right now with a crutch, then saying he’s always needed a crutch for his career. Not bad.

Beth Phoenix, Layla, Victoria, Melina, and Jillian Hall vs. Torrie Wilson, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Maria, and Michelle McCool

Melina botches her ring entrance by falling off the apron, so she does it again. Beth Phoenix tags herself in, picks up Maria and slams her to the mat. Mickie James plants a big kiss on Melina before hitting the finisher and getting the pin.

Let me just say that the words “Ten Diva Tag Team Match” are never going to be found in any “Best of Survivor Series” compilation…

Winners . . . Torrie Wilson, Mickie James, Kelly Kelly, Maria, and Michelle McCool at five minutes and 23 seconds.

Match Rating: 1/10 (Finishing Move: 10/10)

William Regal and Coach can’t help but smirk as they watch Hornswoggle pace nervously awaiting his match with The Great Khali. Also, we get to see pieces taped earlier today from both Randy Orton and Shawn Michaels. Both are pretty standard, but Shawn’s comes across just a little better, maybe because he’s been doing this a long time.

Cade and Murdoch (champions) vs. Cody Rhodes and Hardcore Holly (challengers) — World Tag Team championship Match

Rhodes pulls off a sunset flip, but Cade kicks out. The World Tag Team champs are thrown to the outside where they regroup. Cade holds Holly, and Murdoch shoots off the ropes to hit a boot to the face. Holly rolls away from an elbow, then rolls away from a leg drop from Murdoch. Rhodes gets the hot tag and hits a back body drop on Murdoch. He follows with a running bulldog and a missile drop kick. Cade breaks the pin. Holly and Cade spill to the outside. Murdoch hits his version of the Canadian Destroyer for the win.

Winners … and still World Tag Team Champions . . . Cade and Murdoch at 7 minutes and 45 seconds.

Match Rating: 6/10

After the match, Holly give Rhodes a quick slap across the face and walks away.

The announcers do a great job describing the obstacles facing Triple H’s team in the traditional Survivor Series match: one man down with no Matt Hardy, Rey Mysterio hobbled, etc. Todd Grisham gets a word with the shorthanded team, and Rey says he feels right at home because he’s always been an underdog. Kane respectfully disagrees, saying he’s never an underdog, but that he likes Survivor Series because you don’t even need to get along with your teammates. After all, Triple H has done a lot to him in the past — remember the Katie Vick incident? When Jeff realizes HHH has also put him in the hospital, The Game issues a couple of quick apologies. But he also points out that guys who did terrible things to each other in the past can team up to do something terrible to other people. That seems to strike the right chord.

Triple H, Rey Mysterio, Kane, and Jeff Hardy vs. Umaga, Mr. Kennedy, MVP, Finlay, and Big Daddy V w/ Matt Striker — Traditional Survivor Series Match

After delivering a choke slam to Finlay, Kane walks into a Samoan drop from Big Daddy V. Kane is pinned and eliminated. Mysterio nearly pins Umaga with the 619 followed by the West Coast Pop. Mysterio goes for a flying body press, but Umaga catches him and hits him with the Samoan Spike. Umaga covers to eliminate Rey Rey. Jeff ducks a boot from MVP and quickly hits the Twist of Fate and pins MVP to eliminate him. Triple H pins Kennedy after getting Big Daddy V out of the ring. Triple H and Jeff hit a double DDT on Big Daddy V and Trips covers for the elimination. Finlay comes off the top rope and face first into a boot from Triple H. A spinebuster sends Finlay to the floor, but Umaga saves him from a Pedigree. Hunter finally connects and Finlay is sent to the back. Hunter dodges a corner splash and tags Hardy, but not before hitting a Pedigree. Hardy drills a Swanton Bomb and covers Umaga to end the match.

Time to play good thing, bad thing. Good thing = all six announcers participating without stepping on each other too much. Bad thing = Big Daddy V without a shirt.

Survivors . . . Triple H and Jeff Hardy at 22 minutes and eight seconds.

Match Rating: 7/10

Not surprisingly, Shaq is in the house. Elsewhere, Hornswoggle gives Vince a big hug, but Vince wants to have a talk. Vince says he made the match to show him that McMahons always rise to the top and stick together. The speech seems to have worked as the little guy is all fired up. Speaking of sticking together, Shane McMahon is also on hand to introduce his dad and his half-brother.

Hornswoggle vs. The Great Khali

The crowd is chanting for Shaq to get in the ring. After all, you can’t stop Shaq-Fu. As the bell rings, Hornswoggle looks toward his Dad, but Vince is making sure Shaq stays in his seat. Vince grabs a mic and tells the fans to shut up. Hornswoggle kicks the interpreter in the face and goes back to Khali. Horny ducks out of the ring and spits mist into the interpreter’s face. Khali gives chase and Hornswoggle ducks under the ring. He emerges on the other side with a giant shillelagh. Khali rips the stick from his hand and goes for the Vice grip when Finlay comes to aid of his former ward. Finlay cracks Khali with his shillelagh, causing the ref to declare Khali the winner.

Winner … The Great Khali at three minutes and 18 seconds.

Match Rating: 3/10

Shawn Michaels (challenger) vs. Randy Orton (champion) — WWE Championship Match

Shawn starts off with some mat wrestling, locking in a neck vice. HBK follows with a body scissors. Orton can’t break free of the mat wrestling technique HBK is using. He finally escapes by slipping out of the ring. HBK hits a springboard moonsault off the apron. Michaels locks in a sharpshooter… um, I mean Scorpion Death Lock. Orton gets to the ropes to break the hold. HBK builds momentum with an inverted atomic drop, but Orton is able to hit a drop kick. Michaels drops an elbow into Orton’s chest and warms up the band, but Orton ducks and covers. HBK rolls up Orton, but Orton kicks out. HBK then locks in a cross face, but Orton is able to get to the ropes. Orton counters a punch into an inverted back breaker. Michaels regains the upper hand with an ankle lock and is able to keep Orton in the middle of the ring. Orton eventually rolls over and is able to get to the ropes. Orton counters another sharpshooter and sends HBK into the ropes. HBK blocks one RKO, but isn’t as lucky the second time. Orton covers and gets the duke.

Winner . . . and still WWE champion . . . Randy Orton at 17 minutes and 30 seconds.

Match Rating: 8/10

After the match, Orton pulls HBK into the corner and wants him to say Randy beat him. Orton grabs his belt, but HBK unleashes Sweet Chin Music on Orton. Michaels climbs out of the ring and pulls himself up to walk to the back.

Batista (champion) vs. The Undertaker (challenger) — World Heavyweight Title Match — Hell in the Cell

Winner . . . and still World Heavyweight Champion . . . Batista at 24 minutes and 26 seconds.

Match Rating: 8/10

After the match, Undertaker starts to sit up, but Edge plasters him with another chair shot. Undertaker starts to stir as Edge walks back up the ramp.

Total Event Time: 2 hours and 48 minutes

Event Rating: 7.5/10

Dale Plummer was almost the sole Survivor on this night, but Nick Tylwalk did some surviving of his own and made it through a snowy night of work to contribute to the report. You can ask Dale about going it alone at DPlummer627@yahoo.com, or check on Nick’s frostbite at ntylwalk7@yahoo.com.