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JBL finds another Way Out

WWE is slowy, but surely, trying to re-create ECW. With the DVD sales going through the roof, and the high demand to bring back former talent and matches, WWE bit the entertainment bullet and attempted to go “Hardcore” with a Barbed Wire Steel Cage Match. However, the results of this little experiment proved to be more deadly than the match itself.

The match kicked off in normal fashion, with JBL getting quick hits in on The Big Show, staggering the giant. JBL attempted to climb the steel cage, but when met with the barbed wire on top, he thought better of it. The Big Show fired back, but was cut off and sent face first into the steel cage, thus splitting him wide open. The cage, not the barbed wire mind you, is what split him open. The match continued on, with JBL getting his face cracked against the steel mesh.

With both men sporting a “Crimson Mask”, JBL’s cabinet made their way to ringside with plyers in hand. The Bashams attempted to cut through the cage, while Orlando Jordan attempted to climb it. Teddy Long came out and got rid of the three men, but not before Jordan passed the plyers to JBL through the hole The Bashams had created. JBL used the plyers to his advantage, but only for a two count.

Big Show was able to regain the momentum and fight back; both men ascended the turnbuckles, but it was Big Show who gained his balance and chokeslammed JBL through the ring canvas. Big Show then climbed back down, walked over to the cage door, which had been chained shut, and proceeded to rip the chain off. In doing so, The Big Show climbed out and stood on the ring steps with his hands raised, but from underneath the ring, JBL had climbed out and was declared the victor and thus was still champion.

The Big Show, upset with what had just happened, walked over and grabbed JBL, and, with the cage now lifted, he threw JBL back into the ring. This prompted JBL’s cabinet to make another appearance and beat on The Big Show. Cue Batista’s music! Evolution’s monster hits the ring and clears house, while JBL laid down in the entrance way. As JBL was moving backward, John Cena, who defeated Kurt Angle in a match of the night candidate, was moving toward him. Cena took JBL and threw him into a stack of crates and through a table. JBL and Batista stood on opposite sides of the arena, both with their hands raised as WWE No Way Out came to a close.

Match One- WWE Tag Team Championship Match- The Bashams (Champions) vs Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero

Very exciting match to kick off the PPV. The Bashams use plenty of double teaming in the early goings of the match, keeping Mysterio isolated from Guerrero. Mysterio was able to hit a beautiful moonsault, but that wouldn’t be enough to shake The Bashams. Once the hot tag to Guerrero was made, The Bashams were put on the defensive. Guerrero went to grab a title belt, but Mysterio stopped him. After some lying and cheating, a.k.a. Guerrero belt shot and a 6-1-9, Guerrero and Mysterio stole the titles.

Winners via Pinfall and NEW WWE Tag Team Champions- Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero
Match Rating- 7/10

Next, we head backstage where Teddy Long is prepping for Batista. He wants everything to be perfect. In walks Carlito Carribean Cool with a Mrs. Rodriguez by his side. Carlito tells Long that she is on the Board of Directors. Once she leaves, Carlito informs Long that if Batista is not signed to Smackdown, he is fired.

Next, Torrie Wilson and Dawn Marie make their way to the ring, because it’s time for the first portion of the 2005 Rookie Diva of the Year Competition.

2005 Rookie Diva of the Year Competition- Evening Gown Contest

Joy, Michelle, Rochelle, and Lauren come out and show themselves off in evening gowns. Now I like looking at women, but this was just a waste of everyone’s time. Anyway, after they were done, Torrie informed us that voting had begun on WWE.com.

Rating- Doesn’t deserve one

Match Two- Heidenreich vs Booker T

Prior to the match, Heidenreich read a poem that was, in a word, horrible. Not an enjoyable match whatsoever. Heidenreich dominated most of the match with some mat wrestling moves and arm locks. The fight briefly spilled to the outside, with Booker getting in some shots on Heidenreich. Once they were back into the ring the same old stuff, until they spilled back out and Heidenreich got himself disqualified for using a chair to the throat of Booker T. No wonder Heidenreich was pulled from his feud with ‘Taker. Terrible match. In the post match action, Heidenreich rolled back into the ring and attempted to pin Booker T. The match still sucked.

Winner via Disqualification- Booker T
Match Rating- 4/10

We go backstage where Rey Mysterio and Eddie Guerrero are celebrating their Tag Title win over The Basham Brothers. John Cena walks in on the celebration and is met by Eddie Guerrero. Guerrero pumps Cena up for his match with Kurt Angle. Nice little bit to get Cena over more with the Pittsburgh crowd.

Match Three- Six Man Elimination WWE Cruiserweight Championship Match- Funaki (Champion) vs Shannon Moore vs Paul London vs Chavo Guerrero vs Spike Dudley vs Akio

Paul London and Funaki start things off, going full throttle from jump street. However, London got the better of him and the champion was eliminated.
Elimination One via Pinfall- Funaki
Spike Dudley was the next entrant, and with a little help from the already eliminated Funaki, he was eliminated in quick fashion.
Elimination Two via Pinfall- Spike Dudley
Shannon Moore, who now looks like Michael Jackson from Thriller, is the next entrant. London and Moore battle back and forth, hitting some high risk moves. Moore misses a corkscrew, and gets hit with London’s 450 for the pinfall.
Elimination Three via Pinfall- Shannon Moore
Akio is the next entrant, and comes in like a house on fire. Both men fire away, but when they collide, Akio can not reach his feet at the ten count and is eliminated.
Elimination Four via Count Out- Akio
Chavo Guerrero is the final entrant, and comes in beating away at London. London finds it in himself to “Hulk up”, The Ultimate London (look at his new ring attire) then beats his chest and goes after Guerrero. He rolls him up, but is reversed and with the help of the ropes we have a new Cruiserweight Champion.
Elimination via Pinfall- Paul London
Winner and NEW WWE Cruiserweight Champion- Chavo Guerrero
Match Rating- 5/10

We go backstage to The Big Show, who is sitting on a stairway pondering his upcoming match.

2005 Rookie Diva of the Year Competition- Talent Contest

If it were not for the simple fact that I had to write this show up for you great Slammers, I would have quit watching right now. Joy massages Torrie, Rochelle tells a terrible joke not worth the breath it took her to say it, Lauren dances, and Michelle bodyslams Dawn Marie who was running her mouth the entire time.

Rating- Almost turned off the TV

We head backstage to Josh Matthews who is standing by with JBL. JBL is asked if he is scared about his upcoming match. JBL goes on to say that both men will be changed once they step out. Great promo, JBL is the best on Smackdown when it comes to this.

Match Four- The Undertaker vs Luther Reigns

Mark Jindrak is sent to the back before the match gets started. Both men hit their spots in this match. Reigns attempted to put “The Deadman” away with a shot to the back via the ring bell, but to no avail. Regins applied some submission moves, but in the end was all caught up and put away with a Tombstone Piledriver.

Winner via Pinfall- The Undertaker

2005 Rookie Diva of the Year Competition- Swimsuit Contest

This wasted even more valuable PPV time. They ask the fans who should win, and then they show the results, which show Joy Giovanni a winner with 65% of the votes.

Winner and 2005 Rookie Diva of the Year- Joy Giovanni
Rating- Don’t bother asking

Match Six – Finals in No. 1 Contenders Tournament – John Cena vs Kurt Angle

Tremendous match. Angle comes out with a vicious mean streak, throwing Cena into the turnbuckles on a release belly to back suplex. Cena fought back, twice attempting to put Angle in the F-U, but both attempts failed. Angle would fight Cena off, going for the legs and ankle. Cena was able to hit Angle with F-U, but only received a two count. Angle mounted a comeback, and once the Angle Lock was applied, Cena clawed his way to the ropes, causing for the hold to be broken. Angle continued the beat down on Cena, until he was met with another F-U and pinned. Great match, plenty of mat wreslting, coupled with exciting near falls.

Winner via Pinfall- John Cena
Match Rating- 7/10

Match Seven- WWE Championship Barbed Wire Steel Cage Match- JBL (Champion) vs The Big Show

Winner via Escaping The Cage and STILL WWE Champion- JBL
Match Rating- 6/10

Overall Event Rating- 5/10

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