Who would’ve guessed that?, decreed WCW’s perpetually overselling commentator Mark Madden at the conclusion of the Great American Bash airing from the Baltimore Arena in Baltimore, MD. Well, 20 per cent of you SLAM! Wrestling readers guessed it right in the poll we put up on Friday. Bill Goldberg was indeed Eric Bischoff’s “big surprise”. Goldberg turned heel handing WCW World Heavyweight Champion, Jeff Jarrett, the win over challenger, Kevin Nash.
When WCW did the same thing with Hulk Hogan in 1996, it shocked the wrestling world. Goldberg’s switch didn’t have the same impact. He’s been off television for months and in that time, the word had spread about the thought of making Goldberg a baddie. Kanyon’s swerve on Diamond Dallas Page at the Bash was more stunning as it came from out of the blue. Seeing Goldberg turn was as disappointing as the rest of the stipulation-laden GAB card which was booked based on plot twists not with the thought of presenting good quality matches.
Eliminate Goldberg’s appearance from the main event bout and all that’s left is a predictable seventeen-minute mugging. Very plodding and very boring. So, in essence, it was a typical Kevin Nash match. Big Sexy? How about Big Lazy. Poor Jeff Jarrett. Even a man with his vast in-ring talent couldn’t carry the crippling load that is Kevin Nash. Before the pair could even get to business, Bischoff-wannabe – The Cat – had a special announcement to make. K-Dawg would be the “bell ringer”. Rey Mysterio, the time keeper. Disco Inferno, the belt-keeper (What dat?). Juvie Guerrera, the ring announcer and The Cat himself was appointed as the outside referee. You get the picture? Another one of those eighteen million-against-one screw job matches we’ve all come to know and love. Yippie.
Nash began the match shoving off Jarrett three times. Disco and Juvie jumped on the ring apron distracting the official so that Jarrett could sucker punch Nash. Standing over Nash in a corner, Jarrett shouted “I am the Chosen One!,” as he rained punches down on Big Sexy’s melon. Nash bealed Jarrett out of the corner and let loose with knee and elbow smashes. Everyone paused in the ring as the sound of a monster truck could be heard in the back. Goldberg’s vehicle was spotted throughout the pay-per-view prowling the parking lot.
Nash did his running-leg drop-over-the-ropes thingy and then clotheslined Jarrett over the top rope to the floor. Jarrett reversed Nash’s ramrod into the steel post. Nash reversed Jarrett’s Irish Whip into the steel ring fence. Both men brawled into the crowd. Nash beat Jarrett with a steel chair. As Nash was stepping over the steel fence to stalk Jarrett, Rey Mysterio smashed a chair over Nash’s knee. The announcers played up the history of Nash’s bad knee. Jarrett took the chair and waffled the knee some more. A single leg crab and a figure four by Jarrett has Nash reaching for the ropes to stop the punishment momentarily.
K-Dawg smacked the WCW World Title belt across Nash’s head as he stood up. Jarrett stomped Nash though the challenger fought back to catch the champ in a sidewalk slam for a two count. Nash punked out an interfering Juvie and Ray while Disco KO’ed the referee.
The Filthy Animals and The Cat pounced upon Nash. Jarrett hit The Stroke but Nash kicked out. Jarrett climbed to the top rope with guitar in hand. Nash caught him in mid-air for a chokeslam. The Cat counted two then grabbed his eye as if something had found it way in there blinding him. Nash grabbed The Cat and Jack-Knife Powerbombed him. Big foot, Jack-Knife Powerbomb on Jarrett. WCW official, Charles Robinson, was prevented from entering the ring and slapping the count by Rick Steiner. Steiner helped the others take Nash apart. Looking to interfere as well, Tank Abbott was blocked from doing so by Scott Steiner.
Goldberg’s monster truck pulled in beside the entrance way. Goldberg’s music played as the man himself entered the ring. Jarrett and Nash stood before Da Man. Crouching down to deliver his Spear, Goldberg paused sizing up both men. Goldberg Speared Nash and told Jarrett to pin him. Jarrett did so to retain the WCW World Heavyweight Title.
Bischoff, Russo and Goldberg hugged over an unconscious Nash. The crowd chanted…Goldberg sucks!….and threw garbage into the ring. Coming soon to pay-per-view…Hollywood Hogan versus Bill Goldberg.
The next WCW pay-per-view is Bash At The Beach on July 9th.
WCW Great American Bash 2000 Results
Lt. Loco Vs Disco Inferno
- Cajun does a leg-sweep on Disco. Lt. Loco notches the win. The Filthy Animals and MIA trade fists. Pops (that old dude in army fatigues) gets labeled. He falls down and doesn’t move a muscle until Major Guns rips off her T-shirt and gives him mouth-to-mouth. Yech! Pop wakes up frisky as heck. Oh, boy.
- Winner: Lt. Loco at 4 minutes and 53 seconds.
- Match Rating: 3 / 10.
Mamalukes Vs Kronic (Number One Contenders Match)
- In a pre-match interview, Vito declares himself the REAL Hardcore Champion. Johnny The Bull doesn’t take to kindly to the comment but there’s not time to quibble. There’s a match to attend to. Big Vito attempts to bonk Kronic with the belt. Brian Clark heaves it to the floor. Vito scampers after it. He stands outside the ring polishing it as The Bull is laid out. Kronic is now the Number One contenders for the WCW tag team belts.
- Winners: Kronic at 9 minutes and 17 seconds.
- Match Rating: 5 / 10.
Diamond Dallas Page Versus Mike Awesome (Ambulance Match)
- DDP pushes Kanyon in a wheelchair and parks him on the entrance way. Kanyon wear a medical “halo” and stares blankly into space. DDP and Awesome partake in a good, old fashioned chair duel. DDP wins that. Awesome Frog Splashes DDP twice, once with DDP sandwiched between two chairs. At 6:18, Kimberly hits DDP with a lead pipe to the crotch. Ms. Hancock cat fights Kimberly pulling her out of the ring and to the back. DDP spikes Awesome with a Diamond Cutter off the top rope. DDP loads Awesome onto the stretcher. Bischoff appears and threatens a vulnerable Kanyon. DDP leaves Awesome to scare Bischoff away. It’s a miracle! Kanyon stands up and Diamond Cutters DDP through the stage. Kanyon assists Awesome in tossing DDP into the ambulance. Later on in the show, Kanyon says he betrayed DDP because Bischoff visited him in the hospital and offered to give him DDP’s spot if he turned his back on his friend.
- Winner: Mike Awesome at 9 minutes and 33 seconds.
- Match Rating: 7 / 10.
G.I. Bro Versus The Perfect One (Boot Camp Match)
- Great execution for a match of this kind. A lot of ring psychology is employed with the participants having to meet a ten count to survive. Pins and submissions don’t count.
- G.I. Bro (Booker T) entered the ring by swinging down to the ring from the first level of the arena much like Shawn Michaels did prior to his Iron Man Match with Bret Hart. Bro landed with both feet on the top rope. He disconnected the safety harness and fireworks went off. Chuck Palumbo does a run-in beating G.I. Bro using a Lex-Flexer exercise bar. Perfect and Palumbo double-team Bro. Bro won’t stay down. Bro gains possession of the Lex-Flexer and goes to town on the tag champs. Bro wins by cracking Perfect upside the head with the bar.
- Winner: G.I. Bro at 13 minutes and 57 seconds.
- Match Rating: 7 / 10.
Shane Douglas Vs The Wall (Tables Match)
- Very confusing affair. At first the announcers say that the winner is the first to put his opponent through five tables. Then, they say it’s a “best-of-five” deal. Lucky they weren’t running the Stanley Cup Playoffs, eh? The Wall, sporting black hair and a black goatee slams Douglas through two tables to take the lead. The Wall and Douglas battle to the entrance way where someone was kind enough to leave a huge ladder and three tables stacked on top of one another. God bless the maintenance crew. Douglas and The Wall fight on opposite sides of the ladder. The Wall is pushed off falling through the three tables. Douglas reveals that he had been wearing brass knuckles. The Wall recovers to introduce referee Mark Johnson to a table.
- Winner: Shane Douglas at 8 minutes even.
- Match Rating: 3 / 10.
Tank Abbott Vs Scott Steiner (Asylum Match)
- It is announced that the match is now a handicapped one pitting Steiner against Tank and Rick Steiner. The Asylum cage drops down. Tank pulls out a chain. Rick won’t let Tank use it on his brother. Tank hits Rick. Scott locks on the Steiner Recliner.
- Winner: Scott Steiner at 3 minutes and 59 seconds.
- Match Rating: 0 / 10.
Billy Kidman Versus Hollywood Hogan (Retirement Match)
- Eighty per cent Hogan punching Kidman into oblivion. Kidman is arm-dragged through the announcer’s table. Torrie arrives at 9:28. Kidman uses brass knuckles on Hogan and Horace. Torrie climbs into the ring and crotch-shots Kidman from behind. Hogan takes the brass knuckles and lays out Kidman. Horace and Hogan hug. It’s a Kodak moment, folks.
- Winner: Hollywood Hogan at 11 minutes and 98 seconds.
- Match Rating: 2 / 10.
Ric Flair Vs David Flair (Retirement Match)
- Way better than the previous Retirement Match by a long shot. Flair’s whole family is seated at ringside. David wrestles…I repeat…wrestles his dad. Good for him. He’s not too bad either. Russo uses the baseball bat on Flair and handcuffs him. Reid Flair crotch-shots Russo, steals the keys and hands them off to his dad. David whips Reid out of the ring. One of Flair’s daughters jumps over the rail. She proceeds to handcuff Russo. David Flair submits to his dad’s Figure Four. Russo is severely ticked. He challenges Flair to a retirement match on Nitro. Ric and Reid crotch-chop at Russo from the entrance way.
- Winner: Ric Flair at 10 minutes and 14 seconds.
- Match Rating: 6 / 10.
Vampiro Vs Sting (Human Torch Match)
- What? No Invisible Woman, Mr. Fantastic or The Thing? Not much action but great images that will leave a lasting impression. When Vampiro comes out he lights a torch hanging by the entrance way. Sting is high a top the WCW-Tron structure and he’s yanked the flaming torch up there. Knowing Vampiro’s afraid of heights (??) he demands that Vampiro come and get him. Sting repels down from the structure (like a S.W.A.T. team member or a mountain climber). In the ring, Vampiro empties a jug of “gasoline” on Sting. The Dark Warrior is blinded. Sting and Vampiro brawl as they climb up the structure. Sting is knocked off and falls onto (into) the stage below. Shaking off the cobwebs, Sting scales the structure to battle Vampiro on top of the structure. The lights dim as per Sting’s thunder and lightning entrance. They keep disappearing from camera view ducking below. Vampiro sets Sting’s back on fire and he does a dive off of the structure to an awaiting air bag below. Fire Department and emergency workers spray Sting with foam, thereby hiding his appearance. He’s carted off on a stretcher with a wet blanket covering his whole body. From what I can tell, Sting traded places with a professional stuntman while he fought with Vampiro on the WCW-Tron. It was he who was lit on fire and did the dive. Clever trick that looked quite convincing. The announcers gave grim-faced reaction to the happenings though the footage of the fall was played back three or four times.
- Winner: Vampiro at 7 minutes and 31 seconds.
- Match Rating: 6 / 10.
Kevin Nash (challenger) Vs Jeff Jarrett (champion) (WCW World Heavyweight Title Match)
- Winner: Jeff Jarrett at 17 minutes and 19 seconds.
- Match Rating: 3 / 10.
- Total Event Time: 2 hours and 40 minutes
- Overall Event Rating: 4 / 10.
