If you didn’t know better, you’d swear that someone was deliberately sabotaging World Championship Wrestling from the inside out. A spy working undercover for the WWF like something out of a Mission Impossible movie. How else could anyone explain the state WCW is in? Letting talent like the Radicals jump ship. Pushing people like David Flair, Tank Abbott, Kevin Nash, Jim Duggan, Brian Knobbs, The Demon, The Wall and Big T while burying Vampiro, Billy Kidman, The Maestro, Booker T and The Disco Inferno. Granted WCW has fallen on hard times as of late. Injuries to top stars like Goldberg, Bret Hart, Rey Mysterio Jr. and Diamond Dallas Page aren’t their fault. It’s hard to plan around that mess. Nevertheless, they could come up with something better than the snorefest that was Super Brawl 2000.
The multitude of injuries tested the WCW booking staff and they failed to meet the challenge. Super Brawl was the worst WCW pay-per-view since that infamous Souled Out card. The comparison between the kick ass Mayhem show a few short months ago shows just how far you can fall in a short period of time if you flub the important business decisions.
You know things are bad when an in-ring dance recital by James Brown and Ernest Miller gets a bigger pop than practically all of the matches you are presenting.
The undercard being a total write-off, WCW did hit their stride with the Super Brawl main events. The returning Hulk Hogan put on one of his better matches in recent years against Lex Luger. Appreciate them or not, Luger and Hogan did crank it up a notch although the match was a total throwback to when Hogan first stepped foot into WCW. Still, you gotta give credit where credit is due. The effort was there as was the fan’s support in the Cow Palace.
So too was the case with the three-way dance for the WCW World Heavyweight Title between Scott Hall, Jeff Jarrett and Sid Vicious. Hall and Jarrett took turns beating on big Sid, who took it to both men whenever he could. Jarrett’s game plan became apparent early on as he took out referee Billy Silverman and had the Harris Boys interfering as much as humanly possible. Subsequent officials Nick Patrick, Mickey Jay and Charles Robinson were each taken out by Jarrett so that Mark Johnson – an official in Jarrett’s pocket – could take over. Hall has the match won with an Outsider Edge on Jarrett. Johnson scrapped Hall’s chances at winning by feigning a suspect shoulder injury so he couldn’t slap the three count.
Dressed as a referee, Roddy Piper made it to ringside just as Jarrett clocked Hall with a guitar shot. Piper stopped Johnson from making the count and took him out. A furious Jeff Jarrett got in Piper’s face. Piper poked him in the eyes blinding him. Sid chokeslammed Jarrett and Power Bombed Hall to dodge the bullet and retain the WCW World Heavyweight Championship.
- The next WCW pay-per-view is Uncensored on March 19th.
Super Brawl 2000 Results
- Mean Gene attempts an interview with Commissioner Kevin Nash. Jeff Jarrett answers the door saying he has punked out Nash so he had assumed control once again. Jarrett announced a change to the main event. The Harris Boys would be legally at ringside.
The Artist (challenger) Vs Lash Laroux (WCW Cruiserweight Title Match)
- Laroux tries a hurracanrana from the top rope. Paisley holds onto The Artist so that Laroux flips himself over. A dazed Laroux gets to his feet. The Artist spikes him with a jumping DDT.
- Winner: …and new WCW Cruiserweight Champion…The Artist at 5 minutes and 58 seconds.
- Match Rating: 5 / 10.
- Backstage a mysterious someone is locked away in a private room.
Brian Knobbs (challenger) Vs Bam Bam Bigelow (champion) (WCW Hardcore Title Match)
- Though Knobbs doesn’t want his help, Fit Finley keeps interfering on his behalf. Finley knocks out Bigelow using his cast. Knobbs gets the pinfall. How lame.
- Winner: …and new WCW Hardcore Champion…Brian Knobbs at 4 minutes and 48 seconds.
- Match Rating: 3 / 10.
- Flair and Luger stroke each other’s egos backstage. Security is posted at the dressing room doors of Vicious and Hall.
Three Count Vs Norman Smiley
- Great fun though what does it say about Three Count since they have trouble in dealing with Norman Smiley in a handicap bout? Self-proclaimed REAL journalist (read WCW company shill) Mark Madden does hit the target with “This is like Dance Fever gone horribly wrong!” as Three Count and Smiley do a hilarious dance-off. Three Count splash Smiley’s injured ribs. Smiley submits to a version of the Lion Tamer though the announcers play-up Smiley’s courage in taking on three men while injured.
- Winners: Three Count at 4 minutes and 7 seconds.
- Match Rating: 7 / 10.
The Demon Vs The Wall
- Crap personified. The crowd could care less. The Wall (How stupid a name is that?) chokeslams The Demon off the top rope to get the duke. How many more appearances does The Demon have to make before the contract with Kiss is up? Whatever the number is, it can’t come soon enough. Ditch Alex Wright’s wicked new gimmick and push The Wall? Yeah. That makes perfect sense.
- Winner: The Wall at 3 minutes and 37 seconds.
- Match Rating: 2 / 10.
Big Al Vs Tank Abbott (Jacket On A Pole Match)
- You thought Jake Roberts versus Rick Martel in the WrestleMania 7, Blindfold bout was bad? You ain’t seen nothing yet. Al versus Tank is not only a leading candidate for the worst match of 2000 but could very well be the worst in recorded history to appear on pay-per-view. Two rotted corpses could’ve taken their places and had a superior match. No kidding, folks. This match-up stinks worse than a piece of Limburger cheese left out in the sun for a week. Tank and Al stall, stall, punch, punch and stall some more. In an impressive move, Tank does fireman carry Al up to the top rope…then he loses his balance and drops Al to the arena floor by mistake. Ouch! After securing the jacket, Tank pulls a knife out and holds it to Al’s throat!?!?! What the hell was that about? To avoid further embarrassment, WCW should edit this out of the encore, confiscate all copies of this match and then incinerate them.
- Winner: Tank at 4 minutes and 41 seconds.
- Match Rating: -10 / 10.
Big T Vs Booker T
- As The New Harlem Heat has secured the rights to the name and entrance music, Booker T comes out dressed in wrestling trunks to a modified version of Leave It To Beaver’s theme song. Booker is about to pin Big T. The lights go out. Midnight’s music plays. The lights turn back on. A stranger looking like a reject from The Nation Of Domination is standing on the ring apron. Booker seems to recognize him. Big T scores the pinfall while Booker is distracted by the appearance.
- Winner: Big T at 4 minutes and 42 seconds.
- Match Rating: 2 / 10.
- The Harris Boys demand that a security goon unlock the door to the private room. When he can’t (the locks have been changed), the Harris Boys pound on him.
Kidman Vs Vampiro
- Didn’t we see this for free on like Nitro and Thunder? Both men usually can be counted on for a high quality match. For some reason, they are off their game tonight. Kidman wins with a modified version of Sting’s Scorpion Death Drop from the top rope.
- Winner: Billy Kidman at 7 minutes and 19 seconds .
- Match Rating: 7 / 10.
The Mamalukes (champions) Vs David Flair, Crowbar (challengers) (Stretcher – WCW Team Title Match)
- Daffney does an amazing hurracanrana on The Bull then sprays mace into Disco’s eyes! Wild!
- Flair is sloppily taped to a stretcher and carted off. Vito splashed Crowbar threw a table from the top rope. He is taped to a stretcher too. The Mamalukes sit Daffney into a wheelchair, tape her to it and her mouth shut.
- Winners: …and still WCW World Tag Team Champions…The Mamalukes at 11 minutes and 25 seconds.
- Match Rating: 3 / 10.
- In the ring, The Maestro challenges The Cat. Maestro says if James Brown doesn’t show then The Cat must be his personal slave. A fake Brown comes out. Maestro exposes him as a fraud. The real James Brown arrives. Maestro faints. The Cat and James Brown get down in the middle of the ring.
Terry Funk Vs Ric Flair (Texas Death Match)
- Rule change. To win, your opponent must be first be pinned. Following that, the ref starts a ten count. If you can’t get back to your feet before ten, you lose. Slow-paced yawner until the dying moments. It’s too little, too late. We are half-asleep by then. Dustin Rhodes is at ringside for Funk. His red leather pants make provoke insane giggles. Funk piledrives Flair into the concrete floor. No blood is shed. Funk sets-up a table in the middle of the ring. He tells Flair he will break his neck again like he did before. Flair is piledrived through the table. Flair won’t stay down. Funk puts Flair on another table and climbs to the top rope. Flair pulls Funk off the ropes and through the table. Funk doesn’t make it back to his feet in time.
- Winner: Ric Flair at 7 minutes and 45 seconds.
- Match Rating: 2 / 10.
Hulk Hogan Vs Lex Luger
- Jimmy Hart is back as Hogan’s manager. Hogan threatens bodily harm to Liz in a promo. Now, that ain’t very Hulk-A-Mania like. In fact, Hogan though dressed like The Hulkster, wrestles much like the rule-breaking Hollywood Hogan. Hart nails Luger in the head with his cast from the outside. Hogan uses his cast on Luger’s noggin’ too. Leg Drop. Luger is pinned. Hogan whips Luger with his weightlifting belt. The crowd is going nuts for Hogan. Flair jumps in attacking Hogan from behind. Sting (dressed in his Crow -Sting persona) saves Hogan’s hide. They pose for the adoring crowd.
- Winner: Hulk Hogan at 8 minutes and 10 seconds .
- Match Rating: 7 / 10.
Jeff Jarrett (challenger) Vs Scott Hall (challenger) Vs Sid Vicious (champion) (WCW World Heavyweight Title Match) )
- Winner: …and still WCW World Heavyweight Champion..Sid Vicious at 7 minutes and 53 seconds .
- Match Rating: 7 / 10.
- Total Event Time: 3 hours.
- Overall Event Rating: 3 / 10.
