WWF: The Music: Volume 4 full of surprises

If there was ever a more appropriate album for WWF superstar theme entrances than WWF: The Music: Volume 4, I haven’t heard it. This CD represents the individual mat stars to a tee. Of course, that’s not necessarily a good thing.

Take for instance, “Big”, the entrance theme for the Big Show. The song is slow and plodding much like the Big “Slow” himself. Someone with the Show’s brutality and power should have music that goes along with his positive in ring aspects. Something more aggressive with a heavy metal flavour (hey, he doesn’t have that pony tail for nothing) not honky tonk – rock and roll.

Heck, even Wayne Ferris wouldn’t be caught dead with that George Thorogood rip-off.

Another limp track is “Sexual Chocolate,” which matches Mark Henry’s limp in-ring ability. Slow and easy going just like the mat star. The one thing you can say about this easy-listening tune though is that it’s perfect for the “sex-addicted” rotund one; kind of setting a romantic tone. To sum it up, the song is just like Henry’s matches, you can’t wait for them to end.

Of course the jobber music is just to set the table for the true superstar entrance themes like that of Chris Jericho’s “Break Down The Wall,” an aggressive and hard ditty much like the Lion Heart. It’s no secret that Jericho’s a fan of heavy metal. He took the name “Jericho” from the song “The Walls Of Jericho” by German metal masters, Helloween. The song is over the top and has subtle humorous references like “Baby, you know you’re Judas and I’m the priest,” a reference to 80’s metal band Judas Priest which Jericho is also a huge fan of.

This mat classic of music has more to offer up than just Jericho’s music though. Possibly the most apt song to go along with a wrestler’s character would be Mankind’s “Wreck” which is a chorus of crashing cars to a rock and roll background. Nobody in the WWF has put their body on the line more than this legend and sounds of vehicular destruction seem like a metaphor for what Mick Foley goes through every time he steps in the ring.

Yet another highlight of the CD is D’Lo Brown’s “Danger At The Door”, an upbeat and energetic hip-hop number which totally fits what D’Lo is all about in the ring. Upbeat rhythms and bass match his high tempo antics like the “Low Down” and his inverted power bombs.

Every time you hear this song you can just visualize D’Lo walking down to the ring shaking his head to and fro.

The rest of the music on the CD also mirrors the corporate entity that is the WWF with some songs full of surprises and others which are plainly ground-shaking disappointments.

For example: Why is it that if Chyna is billing herself as a separate entity from the two-time, two-time champ, Triple H, why is she sharing his music? Isn’t she worth having her own song? After all, whether you like it or not, she is the I-C champ. The song “My Time” however, does fit Hunter’s whining style. It talks about it being “his time” and all that other self-serving crap.

At least now you can understand what is said before the song starts…”One, two. Is this on? Yo, Jimmy, hit me with that Triple H. Yeah, you let that music keep playing Mr. Dumb-sh-t,” and then it breaks into the rest of the song.

What’s totally half-assed and a major surprise from the WWF is that there are no lyrics or even listings of who’s in these bands playing the theme music. If you end up liking any of the material here, which is quite likely as the majority of it is quite good, how are you supposed to buy anything else by these bands?

That’s a major oversight on the producer’s part.

Lastly, there are some pleasant surprises with the addition of songs and re-mixed versions of older entrance themes like the Rock’s “Know Your Role.” A surprise addition to song is his hilarious take on Elvis’ “Heartbreak Hotel” re-done as “Smackdown Hotel”. It appears during the last thirty seconds of the song. It comes as no surprise that the Rock is an Elvis fan. Just look at his sideburns and the way his hips swivel when he plants the People’s Elbow. The WWF is going to have to start showing his matches from the waist up from now on.

Also, The Rock does tell you what he’s going to do with your “little CD” but you have to listen closely to catch it.

In closing, the Ristic says this: Take your ass down Jabroni Boulevard and pull up to your local record store. Buy the CD, turn that sumbitch sideways and stick straight into your candy-ass CD player.

WWF: The Music, Volume 4 is available in stores November 2nd.