Mrs. Foley’s little boy has done it again and made us look oh, so bad in the process. Going against the odds and esteemed squared circle prognosticators everywhere (including us red-faced SLAM! Wrestling know-it-alls), Mankind NOT the highly-favored Hunter-Hearst Hemsley defeated “Stone Cold” Steve Austin to win the WWF World Heavyweight title at very soundly booked and worked SummerSlam pay-per-view.

Prior to the event, the inside word was that Austin would not drop the belt to Helmsley so Mankind was brought in to do the job setting up Triple H’s title reign. It was no surprise that Austin came to the ring wearing two knee braces or that the announcers played up his injury to the max. It is well known that Stone Cold will be taking some time off to heal and film episodes for television’s Nash Bridges action series. Still, by all appearances the title change seems to be a last minute switch in booking as every angle preceding SummerSlam, including a rare one-on-one interview with Jim Ross, pushed Helmsley heavily. Foley’s win was an unexpected turn of events.

As predicted, Governor Jesse Ventura’s involvement as the special guest referee presiding over the unusual three-way title match determined the outcome. Throughout the evening Ventura reminded each of the participants that he would only count a pinfall in the middle of the ring and wouldn’t stand for any chicanery. It was the Body’s way or the highway as Triple H soon discovered when Chyna was tossed from ringside for interfering in the match.

With his back-up gone, Helmsley resorted to using a steel chair on both Austin and Mankind. Triple H would’ve easily notched the win but Ventura refused to slap the three count standing in an opposite corner shaking his head disapprovingly. The Minneapolis – Minnesota crowd chanted “Jesse! Jesse!” supporting Ventura’s decision.

Hunter bitterly argued with Ventura. Shane McMahon hit the ring. McMahon, who put on a sensational show in his match against Test, joined in on tongue lashing Ventura.

“Don’t you come out here and tell me s–t!,” said Ventura to McMahon. Austin Stunned McMahon and cheered on Ventura as he threw the Boy Wonder over the top rope to the arena floor.

“That’s one for your old man, you little bastard,” Ventura spit at a fallen Shane.

This gave Mankind time to recover from the vicious chair shot. Foley locked on a double Mandible Claw on Austin and Helmsley. The hold was broken seconds later. Helmsley attempted to Pedigree Mankind. Austin clotheslined Triple H from behind. Stone Cold laid Triple H out with a Stone Cold Stunner, however, Mankind made the save stopping the count. In retaliation, Austin posted Mankind. When Austin turned around, Triple H Pediagreed Austin. Mankind prevented the pin, Double-Arm DDTing Austin to win the WWF World Heavyweight Title for a third time.

A really ticked off Triple H beat Austin with a steel chair further “injuring” his knee as Chyna prevented anyone from coming to Stone Cold’s aid.

  • The next WWF pay-per-view is Unforgiven on September 26th.

    WWF SummerSlam Results

  • Someone waves a sign reading…Big Show = Fat Bastard. Heh. Heh.
  • Howard Finkle, the new “Ralphus”, is carrying Chris Jericho’s bags. Jericho chews him out for being late.

    Jeff Jarrett (challenger) Vs D’Lo Brown (champion) (WWF European – Intercontinental Title Match)

  • Jarrett comes out with Debra then sends her back to the dressing room in a fit of rage.
  • Debra meets up with D’Lo and decides to accompany him to the ring. Jarrett angrier than a disturbed hornet’s nest.
  • At 7:07, Debra does her pose-on-the-ring-apron-seductively thingy. Jarrett and the official squawk at Debra. Mark Henry enters the ring, picks up Jarrett’s guitar and breaks it over D’Lo’s head! Jarrett wins. The Debra – Jarrett break-up was a scam. They leave with a beaming Henry.
  • Winner: …and new WWF European – Intercontinental Champion, Jeff Jarrett at 7 minutes and 28 seconds .
  • Match Rating: 7.5 / 10.

    The Hardy Boys, Prince Albert – Droz, Edge – Christian, Median – Viscera, The Acolytes, The Hollys (Tag Team Elimination Match)

  • The winning team will face the WWF World Tag Team Champions on the next Raw Is War.
  • The Hardys and Edge tangle. Edge jumps off the ring apron, lands on the security railing, runs across the railing to flying clothesline a Hardy Boy. Awesome move!
  • At 4:57, Edge and Christian drop The Hardy Boys.
  • Viscera and Median enter the battle. Edge and Christian double shoulder tackle Viscera out of the ring. Edge Spears Median eliminating that team at 7 minutes and 30 seconds.
  • Prince Albert and Droz go down to defeat when Edge spikes Prince Albert with the Downward Spiral.
  • The Acolytes beat Edge – Christian. The Holly clan fight amongst themselves. Faarooq Sidewalk Slams Hardcore Holly for the 1-2-3.
  • Winners: …The Acolytes at 17 minutes and 27 seconds.
  • Match Rating: 7.5 / 10.
  • The Road Dogg (wearing a lame Tommy Hill-frigger shirt) yacks on the mike about how he is peeved at being left off the SummerSlam card. He challenges the winner of the Hardcore Title match to defend the belt against him on Raw Is War.
  • Chris Jericho is the spoiler interrupting the Road Dogg’s whining. Jericho calls SummerSlam…SummerSham. Road Dogg shuts Jericho up by saying…”I’ve got two words for you, though I am scared to say them because you might take me up on them…Suck It!”. Jericho pouts and throws a hissy fit.

    Al Snow (challenger) Vs Big Boss Man (champion) (WWF Hardcore Heavyweight Title Match)

  • Road Dogg joins the broadcast team following the action on foot.
  • Lawler comments about the Road Dogg’s hair saying…”You’ve got more extensions than AT and T”. Heh. Heh.
  • Your standard tiresome WWF hardcore match until Snow and Boss Man battle in a bar across the street. They brawl at the bar, in the washroom and the pool hall. Boss Man and Road Dog exchange pleasantries. Road Dogg socks Boss Man with his own nightstick. Al Snow hits Boss Man in the crotch with two pool balls and pins him on a table.
  • Stumbling back into the arena, Al Snow lays a beating on the Blue Meanie and Stevie Richards.
  • Winner: …and new WWF Hardcore Champion…Al Snow at 7 minutes and 25 seconds.
  • Match Rating: 5 / 10.

    Ivory (champion) Vs Torrie (challenger) (WWF Women’s World Heavyweight Title Match)

  • Note to the WWF. If you want to push a women’s division, hire some female wrestlers from Japan.
  • Ivory carries a useless Torrie in a snoozer of a bout. Ivory pins Torrie and attempts to rip her shirt and pants off. A returning Luna chases Ivory.
  • Winner: …and still WWF Women’s World Heavyweight Champion…Ivory at 4 minutes and 11 seconds.
  • Match Rating: 1 / 10.
  • Billy Gunn escorts a mysterious person shrouded in a sheet.

    Ken Shamrock Vs Steve Blackman (Weapons – Octagon Match)

  • Should’ve been called a Stick Weapon – Octagon Match because besides a pair of nunchakus brought to the ring by Blackman, those are the only other type of weapons used.
  • Shamrock wins by knocking out Blackman with a Kendo stick though Blackman had done the same thing to Shamrock minutes before and the official didn’t count that. Strange. A great effort by both men. Too bad about the confusing ending.
  • Winner: … Ken Shamrock at 9 minutes and 5 seconds.
  • Match Rating: 6 / 10.

    Test Vs Shane McMahon (Street Fight Match)

  • If Test loses he has to stop “dating” Shane’s sister, Stephanie.
  • His ribs wrapped in tape from Shane’s attack on Heat, Test looks even more like a counterfeit Diesel.
  • The sleeper match of the evening. A shock to the system, Shane McMahon handles himself like a pro performing better in the ring than some real wrestlers do. He’s got more moves than Hogan and Nash combined. What an effort! Hats off to the Boy Wonder!
  • Sporting multiple injuries, the Mean Street Posse sit on a couch at ringside drinking champagne.
  • Test attacks the Posse slamming Shane onto them. The Posse swarm Test and also give Shane weapons like street signs, a mailbox and a framed photo of themselves to use on Test.
  • Test has several pinfalls that are squashed by Posse interference. The Posse lay Test on the Spanish announce team’s table. McMahon leaps off the top rope dropping a text book flying elbow smash on Test. Wicked!
  • At 11:20, Brisco and Patterson take out Pete and Rodney. Test boots Abs in the face. The Kevin Nash wannabe pumphandle slams McMahon then lands a flying elbow smash on him for the win. Stephanie congratulates Test slobbering all over him. Yech!
  • Winner: Test at 12 minutes and 14 seconds.
  • Match Rating: 8 / 10.

    Kane, X-Pac (champions) Vs The Undertaker – Big Show (challengers) (WWF World Tag Team Title Match)

  • Another surprise. On paper, this bout looks like a snorefest. Not so! It turns out to be a perfectly worked tag match.
  • The Big Slow Chokeslams X-Pac into oblivion. He makes the cover by placing one foot on X-Pac’s chest. X-Pac kicks out! A perturbed Undertaker tags in Tombstone Piledriving X-Pac to win the belts. Though they are the champs, The Undertaker has taken The Big Slow off his Christmas card list.
  • Winners: …and new WWF World Tag Team Champions…The Undertaker and Big Show at 12 minutes even .
  • Match Rating: 8 / 10.

    Billy Gunn Vs The Rock (Kiss My Ass Match)

  • Gunn’s big surprise under the sheet is an overweight woman. Wow. That was worth it. Gunn says that when he is victorious The Rock is going to kiss her butt not his.
  • As this match proves, Gunn is not even close to being main event material. His performance drags The Rock down into a torrent mediocrity.
  • Gunn calls the woman into the ring. She hikes her skirt in the corner. Gunn attempts to shove The Rock’s face into her butt. The Rock reverses it rubbing Gunn’s face in.
  • Rock Bottom. People’s Elbow. Thank God, it’s over. Whew!
  • Winner: The Rock at 10 minutes and 11 seconds .
  • Match Rating: 3 / 10.

    Steve Austin (champion) Vs Mankind (challenger) Vs Triple H (WWF World Heavyweight Title Match)

  • Winner: …and new WWF World Heavyweight Champion…Mankind at 16 minutes and 24 seconds.
  • Match Rating: 8 / 10.
  • Total Event Time: 2 hours and 45 minutes.
  • Overall Event Rating: 8 / 10.