Last Monday on Nitro, Randy Savage and his girlfriend-valet Gorgeous George participated in a deplorable angle that has no place in the sport entertainment business. So horrible a sight was Macho Man physically abusing Gorgeous George that TSN, the network that carries Nitro in Canada, cut the segment from their broadcast.

In light of the events at the Bash At The Beach pay-per-view from the National Car Rental Center in Ft. Lauderdale, FL, we now know the truth. That the staged “beating” of Gorgeous George was a scheme hatched by Team Madness to trick WCW World Heavyweight Champion, Nash. It worked like a charm. Kevin Nash is no longer the champ and World Championship Wrestling is off the hook for airing the unsettling material…maybe.

With the collective help of Team Madness, Randy “Macho Man” Savage became the WCW World Heavyweight Champion for a fourth time defeating Kevin Nash, Sting and Sid Vicious in a bizarre tag team match where a wrestler could pin any of the other three participants to win the WCW World Title.

Macho and Gorgeous George cleverly played up their “rift” right from the get-go. Walking out with Sid, Miss Madness, Madusa and Macho, Gorgeous George looked quite miffed at Savage. Her white sunglasses covered a black eye which everyone could tell (except Kevin Nash it seems) was actually brushed on with some sort of black make-up.

Macho ordered Gorgeous George around once Team Madness was inside the ring. She left Macho’s side and threw her support behind Nash by standing over in his corner instead. The defection enraged an already over the edge Savage.

Team Madness’ master plan came to fruition during the conclusion of the mediocre main event bout. Miss Madness and Madusa ran interference for Macho. Sting gave everyone (Yes, even the women. Sigh.) a Stinger Splash. Sid recuperated to Choke Slam the Stinger. Nash knocked Sid onto the apron and prepared Savage for his Jack Knife Powerbomb. Gorgeous George snuck up >from behind punching Nash in that sensitive area down below.

Sid slammed Nash while Macho Man ascended to the top turnbuckle. Savage’s Flying Elbow Smash was right on target. A three count later and Savage is the new WCW World Heavyweight Champion. Unveiling their conspiracy to all, Savage hoisted a smiling Gorgeous George onto his shoulders parading her and the belt around the ring.

For those keeping score, the Kevin Nash move count was a total of four.

The next WCW pay-per-view is Road Wild on August 14th.

Bash At The Beach 1999 Results

The Cat Vs Disco Inferno

  • Laugh at his gimmick all you want, Disco Inferno is one of the most complete wrestlers in the biz today.
  • The Nitro dance contest routine is played out again. This time, Disco catches Miller trying to nail him with a shoe.
  • Distracted, Disco gives Ono The Last Dance. Miller kicks Disco in the head with the loaded shoe.
  • Winner: The Cat at 8 minutes and 7 seconds .
  • Match Rating: 7 / 10.

    Van Hammer (challenger) Vs Rick Steiner (champion) (WCW Television Title Match)

  • Punch. Punch. Kick. Kick. Stomp. Stomp. A few actual moves thrown in.
  • Steiner hits the Top Rope Bulldog on Van Hagar…I mean Van Hammer.
  • Winner: …and still WCW Television Champion…Rick Steiner at 4 minutes and 42 seconds.
  • Match Rating: 2 / 10.

    Dean Malenko (challenger) Vs David Flair (champion) (WCW United States Title Match)

  • Worst Match Of The Year candidate. Who did Malenko tick off to be given this lame assignment?
  • Malenko beats the living snot out of David “I have no business being in a wrestling ring” Flair. Anderson Spinebusters the ref.
  • Continuing WCW’s Let’s Bash Women Month, Malenko puts the Texas Clover Leaf on Asia. Flair uses the U.S. Title belt to brain Malenko. Flair pulls David onto Malenko.
  • Winner: …and still WCW United States Champion…David Flair at 3 minutes and 4 seconds.
  • Match Rating: 0 / 10.

    Curt Hennig, Barry Windham, Kendall Windham and Bobby Duncum Jr. Vs Rey Mysterio Jr., Konnan, Swoll and BA. (Tag Team Elimination Match)

  • There’s only one thing that I hate and it’s a bunch of crap. I hate this match.
  • Someone please explain to me how Brad Armstrong became such a big rap fan?
  • Heenan says of the Rap Team’s wardrobe…”You know they could avoid all that by putting a light in the closet.” Heh. Heh.
  • Swoll (a graduate of the Kevin Nash Wrestling School) can do nothing but punch, kick, stomp, clothesline and slam people. Still, he awkwardly pins Duncum sending him to the showers.
  • Two muscle-bound No Limit Soldiers interfere by continually beating on members of the West Texas Rednecks. The official lets it go.
  • Hennig knocks out Brad Armstrong with a Hennig-Plex.
  • Konnan DDT’s Kendall Windham. KW hits the showers.
  • A No Limit Soldier hoists up Windham in a Firemen’s Carry and heads to the back with Konnan. (Huh?) Konnan and BW are counted out.
    : Swoll picks Rey up onto his shoulders. Rey Swan Dives onto Hennig for the win.
  • Winners: Swoll and Rey Mysterio Jr. at 14 minutes and 47 seconds.
  • Match Rating: 3 / 10.

    Hardcore Invitational Match

  • A street fight.
  • The Public Enemy return to WCW in this match.
  • Participants include Hak, Silver King, Lord Steven Regal, Fit Finley, Mikey Whipwreck, Horace Boulder, Hugh Morrus, Cyclope, Brian Nobbs…etc.
  • Sliver King’s arm is slashed open and he bleeds heavily.
  • Takes place in a Junkyard. The wrestlers are surrounded by burning oil cans and wrecked cars. The objective is to make your way out of the junkyard and hop over a chain link fence to win. Fenders, tires, exhaust pipes, car doors and metal grills are the weapons used.
  • Hak attempts to lock Fit Finley in the trunk of a car. A forklift moves the vehicle to the “cruncher”. Finley escapes. A car explodes for some reason blocking the other wrestling in the yard. Finley scales the fence to victory.
  • Winner: Fit Finley at 13 minutes and 42 seconds.
  • Match Rating: 5 / 10.

    The New Jersey Triad (DDP, Bigelow, Kanyon) (champions) Vs Chris Benoit, Saturn (challengers) (WCW World Tag Team Title Match)

  • This textbook lesson on tag team wrestling is a Match Of The Year candidate.
  • In his excitement, DDP leaps onto the top rope, falls outside the ring but recovers landing on his feet. Funny stuff. Even DDP can’t stop laughing at his error.
  • Kanyon throws that “white powder” into the ring. DDP is blinded. DDP Diamond Cutters Kanyon. Doh.
  • Kanyon is covered but Bigelow puts Kanyon’s foot on the ropes.
  • DDP throws in a trash can. He nails Benoit on purpose and Kanyon by mistake.
  • Bigelow and DDP do the Double Diamond Cutter (actually the 3-D, the finishing move of ECW’s The Dudley Boys) on Saturn.
  • Winners: …and still WCW World Tag Team Champions…The New Jersey Triad at 23 minutes and 15 seconds.
  • Match Rating: 9 / 10.

    Roddy Piper Vs Buff Bagwell (Boxing Match)

  • There’s only one thing that I hate and it’s a bunch of crap. I hate wrestling-boxing matches.
  • Flair is in Piper’s corner. Judy Bagwell (Buff’s mom) is in Buff’s.
  • Prior to the second round, Flair sprays something on Piper’s gloves. Buff is blinded by whatever it was as Piper lands some punches.
  • Judy bites Piper’s ear and dumps a plastic bucket on his head. Bagwell socks Piper.
  • Buff haymakers Flair then he does the Blockbuster on Piper. Buff’s pinfall counts in this BOXING match. Why? Who knows? This is WCW.
  • Winner: Buff Bagwell at 6 minutes and 40 seconds .
  • Match Rating: 1 / 10.

    Macho Man (challenger), Sid Vicious (challenger) Vs Sting (challenger), Kevin Nash (champion) (WCW World Heavyweight Title Match)

  • Winner: …and new WCW World Heavyweight Champion…Randy Savage at 13 minutes and 19 seconds .
  • Match Rating: 5 / 10.
  • Total Event Time: 2 hours and 45 minutes.
  • Overall Event Rating: 3 / 10.