WWE’s ‘Big Apple Takedown’ will leave the reader puzzled
Professional wrestlers aren’t just professional wrestlers. Their skills and talents extend beyond the ring. For example, the Big Boss Man didn’t just deal out hard time to Ted DiBiase on Prime Time Wrestling. It was only his night job. During the day, the Boss Man busted heads as a corrections officer in Cobb County, Georgia. That’s why it’s not so implausible that a bunch of wrestlers could be covert black-ops on a mission to eradicate a meth-amphetamine plant in the WWE novel Big Apple Takedown by Rudy Josephs. It’s a fine book, which came out in 2006, but it’ll leave the reader with more questions than answers.
Big Apple Takedown is a flawed what-if story that asks: What WWE superstars would be recruited for the job? How would it be decided? If a WWE superstar died on a mission, how would the company explain it to the media and family members? Why would Vince McMahon pick the most popular stars to go on such dangerous assignments when injuries and death could jeopardize the main event of Backlash? Well, there’s the flaw. You’ll have to keep wondering. None of this is explained. Probably because Triple H is too busy beating the snot out of terrorists for any of us to care.
There’s also an unanswered question about the cast. Not that the cast lacks star power with Batista, Vince McMahon, Triple H, John Cena, Torrie Wilson, and Chavo Guerrero. They all play their part. Vince McMahon assumes the leadership role. Triple H goes undercover. Chavo is a computer whiz. Batista follows Chavo around. John Cena comes and goes. He’s not in the book as much as you would think he would be. Torrie Wilson seduces and drugs the head honcho of the meth empire so she can retrieve files off of his computer. But that’s not all. One surprise WWE legend shows up at the end to raise some hell.
Here’s the unanswered cast question: Why is Booker T featured on the back cover when he’s nowhere to be found in the novel? Why isn’t Chavo’s face found anywhere when he is in the book? I don’t have an answer, but the book was published the year that Chavo’s uncle, Eddie Guerrero, passed away. Maybe it’s connected?
That brings us to this question: Why would the National Security Agency, which the superstars are working for, recruit wrestlers? The back cover says that professional wrestlers were chosen because “they travel all over the country, and no one would find it unusual to find them in a town one day and gone the next.” That kind of makes sense. It doesn’t, however, explain why they would use world-famous celebrities who can be seen on television each week. The idea that Triple H would be a good pick to go undercover is perplexing. After all, just how much would a fake mustache and a pair of glasses help a 6-foot-4, 255-pound brute blend in?
Readers are left with many unanswered questions after finishing Big Apple Takedown. Nonetheless, it answers one question that’s been plaguing our world for centuries. How can the citizens of Earth finally get along with each other? The answer? We need to find a cause that we can all get behind. After all, if John Cena and Triple H can put aside their differences to infiltrate a meth empire then maybe we can, too. We just need to find our meth lab. What’s our meth lab? Rudy Josephs can’t help us with that one. That’s a question that the rest of us need to answer.
