Nikki and Artem are out for brunch and she asks him to help with the preparations for the new house she’s buying – which she has said he cannot move into with her yet. She says that he wants her to do the house inspection, but he gets all whiny because “it’s her house” and declines. He then tells her to let a cat roam the house to ward away ghosts – and now we see why they get along: they’re intellectual equals.
At Brie’s, the twins try to plan on writing a book, which is surprising since it’s not like they’ve ever read any. They have to contact everyone who’s mentioned in it to get their legal signoff, including their estranged father. Nikki hasn’t seen him in five years, and their relationship is rocky, so she volun-tells Brie to make that call.
Nikki tells Artem about her daddy issues. Seems that Papa Bella has a new family now, and she doesn’t really know them. Artem tells her she should pursue a relationship with him, and says he’ll support her if she tries. He’ll do that, but won’t look at a house? He deserves her.
He finally agrees to go to the house and take a look, but insists that Nikki have the discussions with the builders when the time comes. But he sees that she hasn’t really taken any detailed notes, and isn’t impressed.
The twins go see their mother Kathy to get her signoff. She reads the chapter of the girls’ childhood, and suspects that their father will not agree to the sections relating to his addiction. Nikki thinks this is pivotal to go in the book, because it resulted in a lot of her problems with having relationships. Kathy isn’t wild about including all of the negative history, because it was really painful for her to live through it.
During the discussion, Brie drops the bomb on Kathy that she’s visited her father a couple of times — news that Kathy is surprised and kind of hurt by. Brie explains that she did so after Bryan’s father died, as he suggested she don’t lose out on the chance with her own dad. Kathy gets all passive-aggressive with Brie, and then breaks down. She and Brie argue, and she storms off. On the drive home, Nikki tells Brie that she was not sensitive enough to Kathy’s feelings, and the sisters then renew the argument.
The girls, Artem, and baby Birdie go out for a wine tasting, and they talk about the fight. Nikki then says that she wants to go with Brie when they meet with their father to show him the chapter. Nikki suggests that Artem come with them, because that’s a good way to get introduced to your girlfriend’s parents. Predictably, he does the idiotic thing and agrees.
Later, Nikki and Artem are hardware shopping. She tells him that he needs to do another house inspection, because she has the attention span of a two-year old, and tuned out when the builders were talking to her. He agrees, and then they exchange dirty hardware puns, like a couple of tools.
The next day, Kathy and Brie meet up to clear the air. Kathy feels bad that Brie didn’t think she could tell her that she was visiting her dad. Brie says she didn’t feel as if she could, because she knows what a sore spot it is for Kathy and wanted to spare her any pain. Well, until there were TV cameras around and 43 minutes to fill.
In a talking head segment, Kathy also reveals that she is embarrassed about how long she stayed in a bad situation, and that her feelings are still raw about the pain she went through.
Nikki and Artem meet with the designers, and Artem gives a lot of opinions about the decor — probably too many for someone who isn’t going to be living there. But Nikki loves all of his ideas, and they’re both happy.
It’s the day the twins are going to see their dad — he’s coming to the house, as he was working nearby. He arrives, and things go well, other than him sniping at Artem for not speaking Spanish, dissing Artem’s tattoo, and then throwing shade at the girls by implying that they don’t have real jobs. Yeah, this guy’s a winner. Kathy’s better off with Johnny Ace, which is something nobody’s ever said before in the history of Johnny Ace.
Their dad goes to take a shower, and Artem goes with him so the girls can talk behind his back. Not that Artem goes with him in the shower, but accompanies him to the guest house to show him around. On the walk over, he starts grilling Artem on his intentions towards Nikki, and then kind of insults him. Basically, the Bellas’ dad is a dick. But the fact that Artem doesn’t get offended makes Nikki love him more.
Meanwhile, Kathy is having dinner with the twins’ brother, JJ. She tells him about her and Brie’s fight and asks his thoughts. He tells her that it wasn’t an easy childhood, but that all the kids think Kathy was a good mother and made the right — if difficult — decision to leave him, and they appreciate her for it. He tells her that he has no interest in re-establishing a relationship with him. But even if the girls do, they will not love Kathy any less.
At the restaurant, Papa Bella talks about his past, and says that his addictions made him stop being around for his family. But he’s since gone clean, and he vowed to become a different person since he and Kathy split. He says that he can’t dwell on the bad history they’ve had, and that he has to focus on moving forward. He invites them all to come visit them in Mexicali, and they make tentative plans to do so. Unfortunately, it looks like he’s going to become a regular this season, which should take this series to even lower lows. Great.
Bob Kapur isn’t a father… that he knows of. E-mail him your paternity suits at bobkapur@hotmail.com.
